BE A FRIEND LIKE WOMAN'S BRA
NEVER LET GO DOWN
ALWAYS NEAR THE HEART
Pappu: Dad, today they taught
about Sex in the class.
Santa: Ok son.
Later he saw Pappu shaking his
penis, he asked what r u doing?
Pappu: Homework Dad....
There are 2 girls in heaven first girl:
how did you die 2nd girl: well i froze
everything waz really cold but then
it got warm how did u die first girl:
well i was sure my husband was
cheetin on me so i came home early
from work one day and he was sittin
on they coach watchin t.v. but i was
so sure i ran around the house and
checked inb closets and underbeds.
then i had a heartattack 2nd girl :
well if you would have looked in the
freezer we both would have been
A young girl came back to Doctor and
complained, "Doctor, last time you did
my abortion, you forgot your sharp
blade inside of me,"
Doctor "Oh I am sorry, did it hurt you?"
Girl, "No but my eight friends went
impotent, ten of them lost their
fingers, and four of them went dumb.
4 stages of relationship:
- Hand in hand.
- Hand in that.
- That in hand.
- That in that.
If you know what i mean..
An 18 year old Girl got PREGNANT. Her
Angry mother says-Who's the PIG?
30 min later a limousine car stops in
front of their house & a Mature grey
haired in a very Expensive SUIT steps
Man:Ur daughter has informed me of
the Problem, howevr I can't Marry her..
But if a GIRL is born I offer a villa & 2
If a BOY is born den 2 factories & 5
But in case of Miscarriage, what do u
suggest I do?
Mom-FUCK HER AGAI
A person was carrying 3 BABIES in the
The Lady next to him asked, "Are they
The Person said: NO! I Own a Condom
& these are Customer's Complaints!
Man In Bar Orders Kingfisher Beer.
Lady Next To Him- What A Co-
incidence, Even I Have Ordered
Man- I'm Celebrating.
Lady- Me too.
Man- What A Coincidence.
Why are you Celebrating?
Lady- My Husband & I Have Tried 4
Yrs For A Baby..
Today I'm Pregnant.
Man- What A Coincidence
I Am A Farmer From 4 Yrs My Hens
Were Infertile, Today All Laying Eggs
Lady- Wow How Did That Happen?
Man- I Used A Different Cock .
Lady SMILED & Said
WHAT A COINCIDENCE...!!!!!!!
Little Student: Madam, when I grow up,
how will my wife have a baby?
Teacher: (after thinking for sometime)
An angel will come from heaven &
over a baby to your wife.
Student: so who do I need to fuck ??
wife or angel ?
A Guy with 25 inch Long penis to
God : I can't live with this long penis..
God : Go to that Lake,
U will find a Female Frog. Ask her to
she'll say No & U will Lose 5 inch.
He Went & asked the Frog : will u
Frog : No
He Lost 5 inches.
He thought 20 inch is still Long.
So he asked again : will u Marry Me?
Frog : No
He Lost 5 inches More.
He thought 15 inch is Great,
But 10inches is Ideal
So he asked again : will u Marry me?
Frog : How many Times do I have to
NO! NO! NO!
laude lag gaye !
4 Gals take lift in a Car full of
Since no place, sat on their lap
...Grl1:r u Telecom Engr
Boy1:how u know
Grl1:ur Tower is comunicating wit
my Unreachble area
Grl2:r u Computer Engnr?
Boy2:how u know?
Grl2:ur Pen drive is trying to
connect wit my USB Drive
Grl3:r u Automobile Engr?
Boy3:how u know?
Grl3:ur Piston is trying to move
into my Cylinder
Grl4: r u Civil Engr?
Boy4:how u know?
Girl4:ur Dam had broken &
flooded my Village;)
11 year old girl realized growing hair
legs. Got worried and yelled Mom
about hair. Mom
calmly said. "That part where hair
has grown is
called a monkey, be proud that your
Next morning at breakfast she told
her elder sister
"My monkey has grown hair"
Her Elder Sister smiled and said.
"that's nothing, mine started eating
A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is
it OK for us guys to notice all the
different kind of boobs?"Surprised,
the father answers, "Well, sure son,
we wouldn't be normal if we didn't...
there are all kinds of
breasts.Depending on a woman's
age, they are different shapes.In her
twenties, a woman's breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her
thirties to forties, they are like
pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like
onions.""Onions, Dad?""Yeah, you
see them and they make you cry!"
Latest News: Arvind Kejriwal has
stopped wearing his underwears
He can't wear VIP underwears as
they have VIP written on them.
He can't wear Rupa since people
would say he always keeps Rupa
around his private parts, and in
Delhi that's a dangerous thing to do.
Or Jockey as horse riding is a rich
He can't wear Macroman since he is
a common man.
He can't wear Dixcy since he does
not want people to see his d***
And he can't go commando since he
has refused security.
So now all he needs is cover his
private parts with mango leaves to
prove that he is a "aam" admi and
his protection is the aam.
ho out of control
pent ko tu apni khol
Choom k tu uska hole
dalde tu apna pole.
Lund ghusa, ball daba,
gaand maar k bol DARLING AAL IZZ WELL. :-
Ek Bande Ki Suhagraat Thi,
Vo Bade Aaram Se Sex Kar Raha Thha,
Par Uski Wife Jor Jor Se Cheekh Rahi Thhi,
Banda Hairan Hua Aur Usne
Puchha. Tum Itna Cheekh
Kyun Rahi Ho?
Wife:Bahar Tere Dost
Khade Hai, Chutiye Teri Izzat Rakh
Sex kya hai;
Sex ek kala hai, Jo kare uska bhala
Sex ek bhavna hai, jisko pura kurne
ki sabki kaamna hai
Sex do atmaon kaa milan hai, sadiyo
se jiska chalan hai
Sex maja hai, Jo na kare uska jeevan
ek saza hai
Sex bhakti hai, jisme subki mukti hai
Sex ek jaap hai, jisko na jupna
Sex amrut hai, poora jeevan jisse
trupt hai - Dirty Sex
Pehli Baar chudai Karane K Baad
Ladki LUND ko choom k Boli:
Aaj Mujhe Satya Ka Gyan Ho Gaya,
"MARD Ki LASSI"
Hi Bujhaye Asli Pyaas.
Purani soch:-Karo ya Maro.
Nayi soch:-Marne se Phle kuch karo!
Ekdam Nai soch:- Jab tak kuch kar
nahi lete maro mat!
Hamari Soch:-Koi Bataega Sala
karna kya hai?
Kaviyatri ki suhag raat ke baad uski
saheli ne pucha-Kaisi rahi
"Aaye the wo der se,
Dil jala diya,
Pehle kiye Darwaza band,
Fir deepak bhuja diya.
Pehle dabane lage
Fir khelne lage
chaddi khol kar.
Ek jung aisi chidi palang par,
Gole wali toph rakh di surang par,
Mila sirf 9 minute ka maja,
Ab bhogni hai 9 mahine ki saja,
9 mahine baad aisa hoga vispot,
Jo ban jayega Bharat ke liye
1 aur vote...
Paper Dene Or Sex Karne Ke Baad
Sari Girls Ki Feelings Same Hoti
Hai:Kitna Lamba Tha NaKash Thora
Time Or Mil JataTooba Pehle Kitna
Dar Lag Raha ThaPhir To Pata Hi
Nahi Chala Kab Ho GayaUff Teen
Ghante Tak To Meri Saans Hi Band
Ho Gayi ThiAagay Ka To Theek Tha
Peechay Ka Kitna Mushkil Tha Na.
MARD hone k 6 fayade:
1. 'Un Dino' ka tension nahi hota.
2. Koi Heavy saaman latakta nahi
3. Nange bhi ghumo to kisi ki
bhavnaye nahi jagti.
4. Virgnity ka koi proof nahi hota.
5. Khujane pe hath geela nahi hota.
6. And above all, jaha chahe waha
moot sakte h.
IF U R MEN.!
Jiyo L**D utha k...
Ek bus me Ladko & Ladkiyo ki team
Khel rahi thi
Girls Hum Tumko Harakar Hi
Pichhe betha PAPPU BOLA :- Hum
Haar Gye, Chalo Ab Dikhao
Ek Ladka bike se Aunty ko ghar
chhodne ja raha tha.Jab bhi aunty
ke boobs uski peeth se lagte, wo
kehta : "Na pintu na, ye aunty
he."Ghar pahooch ke Aunty boli :
"Tu kis pintu ke sath baat kar raha
tha?"Ladka sharma ke bola :"aapke
nipples bar bar takra rhe the,, Mera
penis bar bar khada ho raha tha, to
me use samajha raha tha ke pintu
khada na ho, yeh to Aunty
hai."Aunti boli : "Dhutt pagle,Aunty
to mai teri hu,Pintu ki nahi…. chal
Most BOYS don't lyk
Touch screen mobile,
U know why?
Jinhe dabane ki aadat
Unhe bas touch karne
me kahan maza aayega...!!!!
Azam Khan- Sirji election time kitna
boring hai, chalo kuch game khelte
Mulayam- Chal dekhte hai hum
dono mein se sabse bada bakchod
Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha
Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?”
Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se”
Teacher: “Wo Kaisi”
Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“
Ek jungle mein sare male janwar
female janwaar ko 24 ghante chodte
rahte the.. !!Saari female jaanwar
mil ke Brahmaji ke pass gayi aur
vardaan mangaa ke kam se kam ek
mahiney ke liye chudai se mukti
miley !Bramhaji ne SAB male
janwaron ke laudey kaat ke unko
token de diye aur boley ki ek
mahiney ke baad token lanaa aur
apna-apna lund le jaana.. !Shaam ke
time Bandar ped pe baitha
tha..Bandariya ne usey chedtey hue
kaha:"Chodsaaley,bhenchod ! Ab
chod naa mujhe"?Bandar kuch nahi
bola.Bandariya fir boli"Chod na
Bhadve, chod na behen ke laudey.."!!
Bandar ne ek choti si smile di aur
bola:"Ek maheena ruk ja
haraamzaadi ! Maine Haathi ka token
The best ever English to hindi
dictionary for guys:
xcuse me= sun chutiye;
stupid= abe gandu;
get out=Nikal bhosdike;
I m in problem = Yaar loude lag gaye;
I am scared= gaand phati hui hai yaar;
Where r u= Abbey Kahan maa chuda raha hai;
Would u like to have this= lega laudu;
Not possible!!!= chal bhosdike;
He is a very bad person= Bada madarchod hai;
I'm sorry = maa chuda;
Where r u? = kahan gaand mara raha hai?;
I 4give u! = muh mei le le;
No = ghanta;
Too small= jhaant barabar;
Too big= gaand faadu;
Difficulty= gaand faat gayi;
We rock= maa chod di;
And finally the best one:
Teacher: "What Is A Condom?"
Aamir Khan Muskurane Lag Jata Hai
Teacher: "Aap Itna Muskura Kyu
Aamir: "Sir!, Wo Kya Hai, Bachpan Se
Ki Main Sex Education College Mein
Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut Maza Aa
Teacher: "Zyada Maza Lene Ki
Zarurat Nahi Hai,
Condom Ki Defination Bolo?"
Aamir: "Sir! Condom Is Anything
Teacher: "Will U Plz Elaborate?"
Aamir: "Har Wo Cheez Jo Population
Baccha Paida Nahi Karna Hai,
Condom Hai Na"
"Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar Subah
Tak,Condom Hai Sir"
"Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se Ghire
"8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar Mujh
Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai"
"1 Second Mein In,1 Second Mein
Teacher: "Arre... Defination Kya
Aamir: "Wo Hi To Bata Raha Hu Sir"
Teacher: "Exam Mein Ye Sab
"Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat Se
Chattur: "Sir!, Condom Are Between
Combination Of Body So Connected,
Relative Positions May Be Seen In
."Teacher: "Wah! Kya Baat Hai."
Marzi Ka Sex Pap Nahi Hota..Piche se
Dalne Wala Kabhi Baap nahi
Hota..Condom Zarur Lagana Mere
DostQki..Sex k Waqt POPAT Ke Pass
Dimag nahi hota. Dirty Shayari
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided
that it was time to.get married. She
put an ad in the local paper that
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN
On the second day she heard the
doorbell. Much to her dismay, she
opened the door to see a gray-
haired gentleman with no arms or
legs sitting in a wheelchair.
The old woman said, "You're not
really asking me to consider you, are
you? Just look at you ... you have no
legs!" The old man smiled,
"Therefore I cannot run around on
She snorted. "You don't have any
Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I
She raised an eyebrow and gazed
intently. "Are you still good in bed?"
With that, the old gentleman leaned
back, beamed a big broad smile and
said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
What's the difference between
movies having Certificate - U, A, XX,
U: Hero gets the heroine
A: Villain gets the heroine
XX: All the actors get the heroine
XXX: Entire shooting unit gets the