Friday, 4 March 2016

Adult Special Jokes for 18+


ADULT ONLY 18+
1Sunny Leone: My movie pk has broken all Indian movie records!!!
Aamir Khan: Idiot. Where r u in pk ???
Sunny Leone: Inside the Dancing Car!

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2A girl got a bird tattooed below her naval.
After sex, she asked her boyfriend: "Did u notice my bird?"
He said: "No. I was concentrating on
the nest".

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3Old Proverb: A smile is a curve that makes everything straight.
New Proverb: Boobs are curves that make some things super straight.

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4Vagina is the best Rehabilitation Centre in the World.
Any arrogant dick can go in; but will come out soft, humble, happy, satisfied and reduced in size and ego!

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5What's the difference between an Umbrella and a Blouse?
UMBRELLA - you press and open;
BLOUSE - you open and press
Enjoy the monsoon with press and open or with open and press. Choice is yours, either ways you'll get wet!

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6
5 missed calls from your girlfriend means, you missed a fuck;
5 missed calls from your wife means, you are fucked!

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7
Why are girls hotter than boys?
Boys have two Zero watt bulbs and only one 40 watts Tube.
Whereas girls have two 500 watt bulbs and one 3000 watts Oven!

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8
An 89 is also a 69 but with a fat chick!

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9
An X-ray specialist was briefing his new assistant about breast shadows. He told him that women's breasts come in three sizes:
Ping Pong
Ding Dong
and
King Kong!

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10
A man was lost on an island. He cut a tree and decided to make a boat.
Suddenly...
He saw a girl and he used the tree to make a bed.
Moral: A hole can change a Man's goal!

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11
A porn actress was admitted to hospital after having phone sex.
Doctors removed 2 Nokias, 3 iPhones and 1 Samsung. No Siemen was found!

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12
What is the difference between a Key and a Panty?
Key: Insert and Open
Panty: Open and Insert

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13
The colour of Bra reflects a girl's mood:
White - Relaxed Mood
Red - Wild Mood
Black - Sexy Mood
Blue - Sad Mood
Pink - Romantic Mood,
No BRA - Perfect MOOD!

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14
Beauty of ENGLISH:
Ever noticed how deleting one word after another in a sentence can lead to a nice story?
Here's an example:
Oh Jack plz don't touch me at all!
Oh Jack plz don't touch me at!
Oh Jack plz don't touch!
Oh Jack plz don't!
Oh Jack plz!
Oh Jack!
Oh!
O!

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15
A small joke:
Girl: Fuck you.
Boy: Promise!

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16
Describe 'Virginity' in 2 words?
.
..
...
....
.....
......
Center Fresh!

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17
1st time Kiya to Khoon Aaya.
2nd time Kiya to Dard Hua.
3rd time Kiya to Jalan Hui.
4th time Kiya to Smoothly Hua.
Shuruvat Mein Shaving Aise Hi Hoti Hain!
 
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18
Why are girls better at catwalk than boys?
Because there is nothing between the legs to get squeezed!

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19
How is a condom like a photograph?
They both capture that special moments ..! 

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