Saturday, 6 February 2016

Jokes .............. This joke won an award for the Best Joke in a competition held in Britain

 Ad given by a famous restaurant at Mumbai - This Valentine day bring your wife, get 25 % discount on food... Bring your girl friend, get 35 % discount, Bring your lover and get 40 % discount ..... If you can bring all 3 at same time, entire bill & one month complimentary stay at LILAVATI HOSPITAL will be paid by management. .
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आदमी :- कमर में बहुत दर्द है... जरा पड़ोसी
के घर से iodex ले आओ।
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Wife:- वो नहीं देंगे । वो बहुत कंजूस है।
आदमी:- हाँ, है तो बहुत कंजूस साले... रहने दो,
अलमारी में से अपनी ही निकाल लो, आज दर्द कुछ ज्यादा ही है...
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बीवियाँ दुनिया का एकलौता ऐसा आतंकी संगठन होता है
जो अपने द्वारा किये गये हमलों की जिम्मेदारी भी नहीं उठाता। .
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PASSWORD PROBLEMS:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER : IWillHuntYouDown50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow


WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
(This joke won an award for the Best Joke in a competition held in Britain)
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 Ladies driving:  
Doctor to injured patient:
Jab car ek lady chalaa rahi thi to tumhein road se dur chalnaa chaahiye tha naa ??
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Patient:
Kaun sa road?
Main to Garden mein letaa huaa tha !! .

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A man meets his friend 
who has started wearing ear rings.
He asks "Since when did u start wearing earrings?"
Friend
"Ever since my wife
found them in my car !!!.

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 Some women are sooo concerned about their husband's happiness. ......
that they hire detectives to find out who is responsible for it....
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The only 2 persons whom a woman listens carefully & follows Sincerely & does EXACTLY as he says is a.... TAILOR & PHOTOGRAPHER. baki to woh kisi k baap ki bhi nahi sunti....

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Police asked the Thief: Why did u go to Steal 3 times in d Same Store?
The thief Replied:Sir, I Stole 1 Dress for my wife & went to Change It Twice!
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A husband writing in his diary:
Shaadi se pehle bhagwaan se duaa maangi thi ki achha
PAKANE wali biwi dena.

Saala, 'khana' mention karna hi bhool gaya! 
















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