Thursday, 7 January 2016

Jokes ............. Penis Tax and Ultimate Doctor

 अंतर्राष्ट्रीय क्रिकेट में अम्पायर
को
"भगवान्" का दर्ज़ा दिया
गया है..
और हमारे मुहल्ले में क्रिकेट मैचों के
दौरान "अम्पायर"  के आउट करार देने पर बल्लेबाज यही बोलता है...
" मेरा लंड आउट है,, चूतिया है भोसड़ी का अंपायर"
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'मस्तानी' बाजीराव की दूसरी बीवी थी, जिसको वो बेहद प्यार करता था ।
'मुमताज़' शाहजहाँ की आठवीं बीवी थी, जिसको वो जान से ज़्यादा प्यार करता था ।
इतिहास गवाह है....किसी ने पहली बीवी  से प्यार नहीं किया ;) .
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टीचर- बेटा सूरज को दिया दिखाना का कोई उदाहरण दो।
पप्पू- मैडम ये तो वही बात हुई जैसे
हम भालू को अपनी झांटे दिखाएं.
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Couldn't stop laughing reading this
: Penis Tax
The govt announced today that the GST would definitely apply to the penis because it provides a service. The way the tax will apply was difficult to decide. This was due to the fact 40 percent of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30 percent of the time it is hard up, 20 percent of the time it is pissed off and 10 percent of the time it is in a hole. On top of that is has two dependents and they are both nuts. 
Effective from Jan, 2016, a penis will be taxed according to size,  10"-12" Luxury Tax, 8"-10" Pole Tax, 5"-8" Privilege Tax, 4"-5" Nuisance Tax. Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund (Please do not ask for an extension). 
The Taxpayers Association is still awaiting clarification on a number of questions raised on this new tax, including: Are there penalties for early withdrawal? What if one's penis is self employed? Do multiple partners count as corporation? Are condoms deductible as work clothes?
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Ultimate Doctor:
Lady to Doctor : When I was unmarried, I had 6 abortions. Now I am married, but can't get pregnant.
Doctor: You are a "Wild Bird" you can't breed in a ZOO.!!

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