Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Why Interviewer faints after Interview with Rakhi Sawant ?

 Two managers were walking through a jungle
They saw a hungry tiger
One of the guys tightened his shoe lace
The other asked, "Do u really think u can run faster than tiger?
He replied, "I dont have to run faster than the tiger, I just have to run faster than u!"
That's today's
प्रोफेसर : "एक प्लेटफार्म 2 Km लम्बा है...
आंधी चल रही है...
60 Km/hr की गति से एक ट्रैन आई और दिल्ली से मुंबई की तरफ चली गयी...
"तो सवाल यह है कि : "मेरी उम्र कितनी है ??
"सब बच्चे हैरान होकर एक-दूसरे की शकल देखने लगे.
थोड़ी देर बाद एक बच्चे ने जवाब देने के लिए हाथ उठाया.
स्टूडेंट: सर, आपकी उम्र 42 साल है.
प्रोफेसर: शाबाश... लेकिन तुमने कैसे गणना की ??
स्टूडेंट : सर, हमारे घर के पास एक लड़का रहता है,
वह आधा मादरचोद है और उसकी उम्र 21 साल है....
3 Fucking Laws of Management - If you learn them, no one can beat you in Corporate Management, but unfortunately even Harvard Business School does not teach them.
1. Fucking Law of Delivery Time - No matter how hard and fast you fuck, the child comes after 9 months.
Moral - Pressurizing does not alter delivery period.

2. Fucking Law of Direction - Even though both holes  are nearby, if by a wrong shot, you enter the wrong hole, no matter how hard you fuck, you never get a child.
Moral - Right direction is very important to get the results, even few centimeters away from right direction, even if it gives satisfaction, cannot lead to results.
3. Fucking Law of Human Resources - By appointing 4 men to fuck 1 woman, you cannot get 4 children, but if you appoint one man and 4 women, you can get 4 children.
Moral - Appoint the right person at the right position. Otherwise you would keep on wondering, why you are not getting the results even after appointing more men.        
forward to all Hard working employees.

End of management Gyaan!
 Interview with Rakhi Sawant

Interviewer: So what is your next project?

Rakhi Sawant: This year I am standing for erections!!

Interviewer: It's elections you stand for Rakhi - not erections!!

 Rakhi: For God"s SEX
stop making fun of my English!!

Interviewer : So why should people vote for you?

Rakhi : If you give me one chance, I will give my breast!!!

Interviewer: Ok,  Ok,  let's change the topic. Heard that you visited a Surgeon again?

Rakhi: All lies. I only went to the Dentist to show my tit's!!!

Interviewer: It's teeth. Why? Do you eat a lots of chocolates?

Rakhi: No no.  My favourite food is Sea Food, Specially PORNS !!!

Interviewer: "Aap Kitni Padhi Likhi Ho?"

Rakhi Sawant: "Zyaada Nahi.. Bas Inter-Course Kiya Hai !"

Interviewer faints!!!

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