Tuesday, 1 September 2015

All new series on Rajnikanth Jokes, रजनीकांत जोक्स एवं चुटकुले

All new series on Rajnikanth Jokes, रजनीकांत जोक्स एवं चुटकुले  :

Rajnikanth was shot today... Tomorrow is the bullet`s funeral!
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Rajnikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan 'via Bluetooth'!
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Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass
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Rajnikanth`s pulse is measured in Richter scale!
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The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikanth`s signature!!!
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Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!
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Rajnikanth is the secret of Boost`s
energy;
and Complan is a Rajnikanth boy!
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Rajnikanth participated in 100m race, obviously he came first, but
Einstein died watching that, since Light came second!!
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Intel's new ad: "Rajnikanth Inside"
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When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
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Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!!
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The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
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An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikanth stopped it in Lonawala!
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Rajinikanth can whistle in 5 different languages!
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Only Rajinikanth knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.
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Rajinikanth is the person in the world who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake!
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Rajinikanth went to the world cooking championship...of course Rajini won. But
guess what did he make in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer
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 Wimbledon special 
Roger Federer: I know everything about tennis. Ask me anything and I will answer
Rajnikanth: Kanna.. How many holes are there in the net ?  

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*The Government of India pays tax to Rajnikanth for living here!


*Recently,China airports were closed due to heavy fog. Later it was discovered that Rajnikanth was smoking hukkah in india



*Rajnikanth did his KG from seven different schools. Today those institutions are known as IITs!


*Rajnikanth wanted to write a blog.. and now we have Wikipedia


*who can sing a group song alone ?? A. Raavan ….. Everytime the answer isn’t #Rajnikanth


*Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out.




*Wires get electric current when they touch rajnikanth.


*Once hanuman were caught reading ….rajnikanth chalisa.


*This diwali eat “rajnikant sweets” ….a perfect cure for diabetes.


*Rajni once slept with a truck ,it is now called optimus prime.



*ChemicalX used by professor to create the powerpuff girls was rajni’s spit!!


*Rajnikanth once chucked the Bruce out of lee n made chucklee.


*Rajnikant once made toilet papers but then no one could use it cause it wouldn’t take anyone’s shit!




*Nokia Rajnikant R series. 
Features:- 
20 sims 
1 year battery life
1k mp camera
tv
fridge
oven
washing machine
ac
AK-47
rocket launcher
24G meet and talk..



*Rajnikanth dont have memory card in his cell phone bcoz
He have sim card of 1 TB MEMORY




*Principal: what u want to become in future?

Student: After studying MBBS, I want to join Police force n get good job in a good software company nd work as lawyer n construct big buildings n conduct research nd become actor...

Principal: Hey, Wat's ur name?

Student: Rajnikant...!!!
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*Genies rub Rajinikanth and he grants them three wishes


*The Delhi Rajdhani Express once missed Rajinikanth. It ran as fast as it could, but failed to catch him



*East India Company left India in 1947, Because Rajini was supposed to be born in 1949.


*Rajinikanth was offered Aamir's role in "Ghajini" but he denied. Because Rajanikanth can only give memory loss.


 *There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up


*Rajinikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!".


*When Rajinikanth shows you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.



*vThe Pyramids of Egypt are actually Rajnikanth's primary school craft projects!


*NASA does not exist anymore. Rajnikanth bought all the rockets for Diwali!


*Even Ghajini remembers Rajni!


 *When do earthquakes occur? When Rajnikanth's mobile is on vibration mode!



*What would have happened if Rajnikanth was born 150 years ago? The British would have fought for independence!


*Rajnikanth woke up one day and decided he would share one per cent of his knowledge with the world. Thus, Google was born!




*When Rajnikanth stares at the sun in anger, the sun hides behind the moon, and this phenomena is knows as a Solar Eclipse!
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*Rajinikanth effect on Google:
Open your internet browser,
in the address bar type 'googlerajinikanth',
Then Hold ctrl button and press enter,
And see the result !!




*Raknikanth has finished temple run game in his android 109.56



*Rajnikanth once taught a child how to play Counter Strike. That child went on to become Osama Bin Laden




*Once rajnikanth hit a six and now that ball is called Pluto!!



*Once dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikanth and refused to pay back.
That was the last time anyone saw dinosaurs!



*The game of chess originally had a piece called "Rajinikant " It was
later removed coz in 1 move, it could kill all pawns, knights,brooks,bishops,
dethrone the king and get the Queen pregnant





*The missing piece of Apple Inc. logo was officially eaten by Rajinikant



*Once formula F1 race was conducted between rajnikanth and Michael Schumacher. Obviously Rajni won but schumacher fainted. REASON: RAJNI Won the race by keeping the vehicle in neutral



*Rajnikant once entered a race, he came first, second & third





*Rajnikant once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced



*Rajinikant doesn't pay attention- attention pays him.



*Rajnikant stared at the sun for hours. The sun then blinked




*Rajnikant had died 20 yrs ago...death hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.



*USA POWER vs INDIAN POWER

USA-
10000 nuclear weapons, 600000 army, 10000 tanks,
12000 air force, 3000 ships

INDIA-
~RAJNIKANTH~




*Once… Rajnikant
forgot his toys near Mumbai…..
Now that place is known as

…..”ESSEL WORLD”…….



*Mission impossible was first offered to rajnikanth bt he refused bcoz he found the title insulting!!!




*Arjun: i can shoot eye of bird.

Rajni: i can shoot bird's eyes cells mitochodria protiens amino acid into two

Arjun: Aap to serious ho gae prabhu

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