Sunday, 12 July 2015

Jokes ................

 While in China , an American man is very promiscuous and does not use a precaution the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his privates covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and Almost unheard of here in the US , we know very little about it."

The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."

The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!"

The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option."

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD.  Vewy ware disease."

The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!"

"Oh, thank God!" the man exclaims.

"Yes," says the Chinese doctor. "Wait two week. Fall off by itself!"

एक अत्यंत हरामी बच्चा  
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एक आदमी अपने 11 साल के बेटे का स्कूल बैग देख रहा था उसे बैग में से एक कंडोम मिला ।
बाप :- मादरचोद इस उम्र में बैग में ये ले के घूमता है ।
बच्चा : तो क्या करूँ ।
इस उम्र में बाप बन जाऊँ । बरदाश्त तो आपसे वो भी नहीं होगा....।

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1 भारत रत्न उन्हें बी दो जो बचपन में
"आदा पादा किसने पादा" वाली शायरी से पता लगा
लेते थे की किसने माहोल खराब किया है..
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अध्यापिका: अंडरवियर को हिंदी में लंगोटी नाम से क्यों बुलाते हैं?
प्रशांत: क्योंकि वह 1 लंड और 2 गोटी का ध्यान रखती है, इसलिए इसे लंगोटी कहते है ।
अध्यापिका आज तक सदमे में हे

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One day I accidentally overturned my golf cart.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out:
Are you okay, what's your name?"
"Its Phil and I'm okay thanks," I replied.
"Phil , forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty, very sexy and persuasive . . . I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."
After a few restorative brandys, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host: "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."
"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile: "She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still under the cart......" I said.......!!! 

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