Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Jokes ................... I am also Married...


Most meaningful conversation
between two intelligent men.
1st Man -
"I am a man of few words."
2nd Man-
(After a Long pause)....
"I am also Married..."
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 An elderly woman goes to the doctor. She says, doc its terrible, I pass gas all the time. Fortunately, it's odorless and silent, otherwise I'd be mortified. For example, I've passed gas ten times just since we've been talking, but its odorless and silent so you can't tell. The doc gives her some pills and tells her to take one a day and come back in a week.
The woman comes back after a week. She says, doc there's been a change but not for the better.I still pass gas all the time, but while it's still silent, now it smells terrible!!
Doc says, well I am glad we cleared you your sinus blockage. Now we'll have to work on your hearing..
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What is Maturity ?
Maturity is when you stop trying to change people, and instead focus on changing yourself.
Maturity is when you accept people for who they are.
Maturity is when you understand that everyone is right in their own perspective.
Maturity is when you learn to "let go".Maturity is when you are able to drop "expectations"from a relationship and give for the sake of giving.
Maturity is when you understand that whatever you do, you do for your own peace.
Maturity is when you stop proving to the world how intelligent you are.
Maturity is when you focus on positives in people.
Maturity is when you do not seek approval from others.
Maturity is when you stop comparing yourself with others.
Maturity is when you are at peace with yourself.
Maturity is when you can differentiate between"need" and "want, and you can let go of your wants.
Maturity is when you stop attaching "happiness" to material things.
Be simple.. Be positive..Be relax..Show Maturity...
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मगन: -तेरी बीवी कल क्यु ज़ोर ज़ोर से चिल्ला रही थी ?????
    उसकी आवाज़ मेरे घर तक आ रही थी .....
     छगन : अरे , यार ऐसी कोई ख़ास बात नही थी,
    उसकी फोटो फ़ेसबुक पे अपलोड करने की जगह .....  
  
    OLX पे अपलोड हो गयी।  
                                                                                                                       ओर हद तो तब हो गई जब एक लड़के ने कहा ए भाई  ये 1960 का कबाड किसने डाला हैं 
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हरियाणा रोडवेज प्रशासन को शिकायत मिली कि हरियाणा रोडवेज के कंडक्टर बहुत बदतमीजी से बोलते हैं।
उन्होने फौरन आदेश दिया कि सभी कंडक्टर कुछ भी कहने से पहले "कृपया" शब्द का इस्तेमाल करेंगे।
दूसरे दिन एक बस में कई आदमी चढ़ गए और दरवाजे पर लटक लिये ।
थोड़ी देर बाद कंडक्टर आया और बोला - कृपा करकै आगे-नै मर ल्यो !!.
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An Year without Toilet? (Hilarious).                   
In the days when you couldn't
count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a
trip to India She was registered to stay in a small guest house ownedby the local Schoolmaster.She was concerned as to whether the guest
house contained a WC..In England , a bathroom is commonly called a WC
which stands for 'Water Closet'.
She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.
The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he
knew the meaning of WC.. Together they pondered possible meanings of
the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a
'Wayside Church' near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds.
So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:
Dear Madam,
               I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is
located 9 miles from the house.
It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by
lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on
Sundays and Thursdays.
As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you
arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room.
This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of
going regularly.It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was
married in the WC, as it was there, that she met her husband. It was a
wonderful event.There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful
to see the expressions on their faces. We can take photos in different
angle.
My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been
almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly.You will be
pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and
make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and
arrive just in time. I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a
Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are
excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.
The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person
enters.We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all, since
many feel it is long needed.
I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a
place where you can be seen by all.
With deepest regards,
The Schoolmaster
The Woman fainted reading the reply....... and she never visited
India !!!

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