Monday, 6 July 2015

HR Manager wrote a love letter to his girlfriend!!

You ask your wife something and she says, "wahan rakha hai.."
This "wahan" can be either
1. on the table
2. or any of th 26 drawers in kitchen
3. or Antarctica..!!!
When wife say, "woh laa do.."..It can be
1. her Lipstick
2. or milk fm market
3. or An AK 56..!!!
When wife says "yeh kya hai..??" It can be
1. your Pyjamas on the floor
2. or beer 6-pack in fridge
3. or a Drone flying over Afghanistan.!!
When wife says, "tumhe kabhi kuch samajh nahi aata.."...It can be about
1. a new mushy WhatsApp msg
2. or Einstein's Theory of Relativity
3. or her latest spending spree in Mall...!
When wife says, "abb bohot ho gaya..." ...It can be
1. the mascara she is putting
2. or the amount of Anthrax that needs to be put in a Biological Weapon
3. or the latest spat she had...with your mother..!!!
And....when wife says,
"main kaisi lag rahi hoon?"
It doesn't have any meaning...
except confirmed annihilation. It just puts you in a fix which Arjun had faced....
just before the War started...... in Mahabharata ...
as to whether you should follow Dharma ....
or Karma...!!!!

अगर मेट्रो आगरा में चलवै लगेगी तो एनाउंस कैसे होगो।
जि आगरा मेट्रो है।
जा में सबनकौ स्वागत है

अगलो स्टेशन प्रतापपूरा बाजार में परेगौ
किवाड़ उल्टे हाथ पे खुलन्गे

जाय देवीराम की बेडई कचोडी खाने होइ,और पुष्पक हलवाई के लड्डू खाने होए बे झैई उतर जायें।
झां के बाद मेट्रो भगवान् टाकिज़ पे रुकैगी,
ताय गुप्ता जी की छोले भटूरे लेनें होय बे भां उतरंगे।
किवारन से मति चिपकियो नईं तो मौ के भर गिरौगे।
गुटका और बीड़ी की तो सोचियो भी मति,नई तो पाँच सौ ते बुझैगी सीधी..!
आगे के दो डिब्बा लुगाईअन के लगेंगे

अगर बे डिब्बन में कौऊ मोड़ा पकड़ो गयो तो तो ढंग से कुटाई होगी,
धक्का मुक्की नईं करैगो कोऊ,
डुकरा-डुकारियन नें पहलें कुस्सी पे बैठन देऊ,
ईमानदारी से टिकट लैकें चलौ!
जादाँ चतराई दिखाई तो कैमरा लगे हैं
पकड़े गए तो जेल की चक्की पीसौगे, बाबाउं नईं छुड़ा पांगे फिर..।

माँ - बेटा तू बाल क्यों नहीं कटवाता ।
बेटा - ये फैशन है माँ
माँ - अरे बेशरम वो तेरी बहन के लिए आये थे और तुझे पसंद कर गए । 
This is really killer one...😂👍
A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were having lunch and Gujju opened his lunch box & said, "Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Idli Sambhar again! IfI get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too."
The Sardaar opened his lunch and said, "Parontha again! If I get aparontha one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.
The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.
The Sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping.. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"
The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa!I didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the Sardaar's wife.
Scroll down for her answer
The Sardaar's wife said,
"Don't look at me.
He makes his own Lunch."
मच्छर ने आपको काटा ... ये उसका जुनून था
वाह वाह वाह...
मच्छर ने आपको काटा ... ये उसका जुनून था
फिर आपने वहाँ खुजाया ... ये आपका
सुकून था
चाह कर भी आप उसे मार नहीं पाये
ग़ौर फ़रमाइये हुज़ूर ...
चाह कर भी आप उसे मार नहीं पाये😄😄
क्योंकि उसकी रगों में आप ही का
ख़ून था ... !!!
It was a Sports Stadium...
8 boys were standing  on a track for racing.
Ready !
Steady !
Bang !
With sound of Pistol all boys started running.
Hardly  had they covered 10 to 15 steps,
1 boy slipped & fell.
He started crying due to pain.
When other 7 Boys heard him, all of them STOPPED running..
STOOD for a while,
turned BACK & RAN
towards him.
All the 7 Boys LIFTED the Boy,
pacified him,
joined hands together,
walked together &
reached WINNING Post.
Officials were shocked.
Many Eyes were
filled with tears.
It happened at Pune.
Race was conducted by
National Institute of
Mental Health...
All participants were
Mentally RETARDED.
What did they teach ?
Sportsman spirit,
We Surely can NEVER Do this,
We have Brains....
We have Ego...
We have Attitude
"we are normal"

टीचर (स्टूडेंट से) : सेमेस्टर सिस्टम से क्या फायदा है, बताओ?
😞स्टूडेंट : फायदा तो पता नहीं,
पर बेइज्जती साल में दो बार हो जाती है।
HR Manager wrote a love letter to his girlfriend!!
Ever wondered how a HR manager could write a love letter .
Dear Aparna,
Sub: Offer of Love!
I am very happy to Inform you that I have fallen In love with you since the 12th of March (Thursday) with reference to the meeting held between us on the 11h of March (Wednesday) at 15:00hrs,
I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending upon compatibility, it would be made permanent.
Upon completion of the probation, there will be a continuous on-the-job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses Incurred for coffee and entertainment would be initially shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However, I am broadminded enough to take care of your expenses account.
Request you to kindly respond within 7 days of receiving this letter, Failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be
considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best.
Thanking you In anticipation,
Yours sincerely
Kal blood test karvaya             Result aaya - A+                        Saali kamyabi to rag rag mein daudti hai  

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