Wednesday, 24 June 2015

हिंदी दमदार और मजेदार चुटकुले

हिंदी दमदार और मजेदार चुटकुले 

 In a Store a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter.
The salesperson, a young boy, said that only 1kg packs were available in the Store,
but the man insisted on buying only 1/2 kg.
So the boy went inside to the manager's room and said "An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter".
To his surprise, the customer was standing right behind him..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the boy added immediately, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half!!!!!!".
After the customer left, the manager said "You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?"
To this the boy said, "I come from Brazil. The place consists of only prostitutes and football players!!!!!"
The manager replied coldly, "My wife is also from Brazil ".
To this the boy asked excitedly, "Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?"
Moral:- Presence of mind helps, Never Panic, There's always a solution….!!!
A Hippie sits next to a young Nun on the bus and asks her if he could have sex with her?
The Nun, very upset, says
"NO! I am married to God!!"
and gets off the bus disgusted.
The bus driver sees all this.
He tells the hippie
"She prays every Tuesday night at midnight in the graveyard...
why don't you dress up in a hooded robe;
go to the graveyard
and tell her you are God
and demand sex?"
The Hippie tries this
and to his surprise,
the nun says
"Yes but only if we have anal sex
as I want to keep my virginity"
They have passionate bum sex
and when they are done
the hippie throws off his robe
and cries
"ha ha, I'm the Hippie!!!"
The nun cries out
"ha ha, I'm the Bus Driver!!!"

तीसरी क्लास का बच्चा (टीचर से)ः मैडम मै आपको कैसा लग रहा हु?
मैडमः सो स्वीट.....
बच्चाः तो मै अपने मम्मी पापा को कब भेजु आपके घ र ?
मैडमः क्यो ?
बच्चाःबात आगे बढाने के लिये.......!
मैडमः ये क्या बकवास है?
बच्चाः ट्युशन के लिए......!
          क्या मैडम आप भी ना... कसम से           वाटस एप पढ-पढ क र बिगड. गई हो.....
"""Girl friend ऐसी होनी चाहीऐ कि गोद में सिर रखो ..तो
उसका चेहरा नज़र ना आये..
जिसे समझ में आया वो forward करो..
बाकी बच्चे POGO खेलो..!"
अंपायर: नो बॉल
नेहरा: लेकिन मेरा पैर तो लाईन के पीछे था
अंपायर: पर दांत तो बाहर थे।।

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