Friday, 15 May 2015

Suhagrat Jokes Majedar Chutkule

Suhagrat Jokes Majedar Chutkule xxx


Suhagrat par Patni Pati se boli, Dekho pls mere pass mat Aana"

Pati : But kyu?

Patni : Mane mummy se promise kiya tha ki Sadi ke baad ye sab Chodd dungi...
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Santa Suhaag Raat Pe Apni Wife (Preeto) Ki Dheere Dheere Kapde Utaar Raha Tha.

Preeto Sharmaate Hue Boli: “Suno Ji, Ye Aap Kya Kar Rahe Ho?”

Santa: “Areey Kuch Ni Kapda Check Kar Raha Hun, Kam Se Kam 90 Rupye Meter To Hoga.”
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Suhagrat Ke Agle Din Dulhan Ki Saheli Dulhan Se Puchti Hai

Saheli: “Kal Raat Ko Tere Saath Kya Hua?”

Dulhan: “Kuch Nahi Hua”

Saheli: “Are Bata Na, Sharma Kyu Rahi Hai”

Dulhan: “Pehle Unhone Meri Chunni Utar Kar Khunti Par Tangi, Phir Meri Kameej Or Salwar Utar Kar Khunti Par Tangi!”

Saheli: “Phir Kya Hua?”

Dulhan: “Phir Achanak Khunti Toot Gayi Or”

Saheli: “Or Kya?”
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Suhaagraat  Ko Husband Apni Wife Ko 500 Rupees De Kar Bola,

Hum Ne Yeh Kaam Kabhi Free Mein Nahi Kiya

Wife 200 Rupees Wapis Karke Boli Aur Humne Kabi 300 Se Zayada Nahi Liya
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Suhaagrat Ki Raat Ko Dulha-Dulhan Se Puchhta Hai.

Dulha: “Sach-Sach Bata Kabhi Kiya Hai Ki Nahi?”

Dulhan: “Nahi Jaanu, Kabhi Kiya Nahi, Bas Hamesha Karwaya Hai“
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Shadi Ke Agle Din Muslim Ladke Se Uske Dosto Ne Pucha

Dost: “Kaisa Raha?“

Ladka Rote Hue: “Yaaro, Kabhi Apne Relatives Mein Shadi Mat Karna, Zara Sa Zor Lagaya To Boli 

Aamir Bhai Aaram Se“
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Pappu apni pahali Suhagrat ko apni Dulhan ko Sahlate hue bola - Apko pata hai..

Main hamari sadi se pahale 6-7 Ladies ke sath So chuka hu...

Dulhan Muskrate hue - Mujhe to pahale se hi pata tha,
Jab hamari Kundli itni achhi milti hai to hamari AAdatein bhi Jarur milengi hi 
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Suhagrat par Dulhe ne Dulhan ki aankh ko chuma...

Dulhan : Ye Kya? 

Dulha : Aankh Zindagi ki kitab hai..

Dulhan : Niche library main Aag lagi hai aur tu kitab main ghusaa hua hai...
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SuhagRat par dulha - Ya Allah Mujhe Taqat aur Tajurba de

Dulhan - Suniye ji sirf taqat ki dua mang lijiye,

Allah ke fazal se Tajurba to yahan bahut hai...
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Suhagraat ko husband wife se bolta hai ijaajat hai?

Wife - Hai ji. 

Husband sari raat saxx karta hai aur wife Bimar ho jati hai...
husband wife ko sasural chodd kar wapas aane ke liye apni Saas se bolta hai - ijaajat hai?

Ye baat sun kar wife jor se chilla kar bolti hai - Maa ijaajat mat dena, nahi to tumhari bhi Phaad daalega...
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Ek Aadmi Jiski Mobile Ki Shop Thi Uski Shaadi Hui
Suhagrat Se Agle Din Uske Dosto Ne Puchha
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Dost - Kyu Bhai, Kaisi Rahi Suhagrat?

Mobile Wala Udasi Se - Kuch Mat Pucho Yaaro, Pehale 5 - 6 Bar To Mis Call Lagi, Aur Jab Sahi No. Laga To Balance Hi Khatam Ho Gaya...
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Suhagraat Ke Baad :

Pati -Tujhe Raat Ko Zyada Dard Ya Takleef To Nahi Hui na?

Patni -Nahi, Bahut Maza Aaya... Dard to Tab Hota Tha Jab Mai School Mein Thi...
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Ek 75 saal ka buddhe ne 15 saal ki ladki se shadi ki, Suhagrat par dono khub roye...


Kyoki ladki kuch janti nahin thi aur bhuda sab bhul gaya tha...
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Suhagrat ko Dulha bola : Jaan, Aaj raat tumhe chand pe le jaaun ya taaro pe...


Dulhan sharma ke boli : Ye to Aapka rocket dekh kar hi bataa paungi..
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Ladke Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, Rat Ko Kamre Mein Gaya Aur Dulhan Ka Ghungat Utha Ke Uska Chehra Dekh Ke Bola...

Dulha : "Tum Itni Sunder Ho, Samajh Mein Nahi Aata Tumhe Kya Kahu?"

Bahar Khada Uska Baap Sun Raha Tha, Ye Sun Ke Wo Bola...

Baap : "Beta Bas Tu Use Ek Baar Maa Kah de, Baki Mein Dekh Lunga"
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Suhagrat Ko Pati Ke Ander Guste Hi Biwi Ne Apna Blouse Utar Diya.
Pati Ye Dekh Kar Bada Hairan Hua Aur Biwi Se Pucha?
Pati : "Arrey Tumne Mere Aate Hi Apna Blouse Kyu Utaar Diya?"
Biwi Sharmate Hue : "Ji, Aapki Bhabi Ne Kaha Tha Ki Jaate Hi Apne Pati Ko...
Dudh Zarur Pila Dena"
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Ek Aadmi Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, November Ka Mahina Thha Aur Kadake Ki Sardi padd Rahi Thi...
Kamre Mein Aate Hi Vo Rajayi Mein Ghusa Aur So Gaya,
Patni Ne Ye Dekha Aur Thodi Der Bad Usko Kohni Mar Ke Boli,
Patni : "Suno Ji, Meri Taango Ke Bich Mein Ek Mori (Hole) Bhi Hai"
Aadmi Gusse Se : "To Band Kar Us Mori Ko, Main Bhi Sochu Rajayi Mein Thandi Hawa Kaha Se Aa Rahi Hai"
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Nayi Dulhan Ko Dulhe Ne Suhagrat Par Muh Dikhai Ke Rs 25,000 Diye...

Dulhan Itne Sare Paise Dekh Kar Ghabra Ke Boli.


Dulhan : "Suno Ji Pura Khandaan Thokega Kya?"
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