Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Head lines: Times of India in 2040.



Head lines: Times of India in 2040.

Kasab dies in jail at 70 due to high cholestrol (too much biriyani).

The PM (read Rahul) said opposition comments on the expenditure on
Kasab are unwarranted. Govt has spent only  Rs 18500000000 so far.
Opposition says ministers' expenses to visit Kasab (to check his well
being) not included.

Farmers' suicide reaches 50000, due to hunger (what an irony). Farmer
family complains, no minister visited them.
Kasab family thanks Indian govt. as Kasab never had biriyani in his
younger days in Pakistan.

Pawars family owns half the world and also controls the Russian and
Japanese mafia.

Golmal 27 released. Tushar Kapoor, still can't speak or act.
A. Raja's grandson arrested for G-16 scam

Girl in Delhi walks 25 feet safely, without getting raped.
Lakshwadeep "cats" to join as the 63rd team in IPL.
No politicians in cricket board, because the board is bankrupt.

Pawar's grandson who had become a Malayalee in 2011 resigns from the
Trustee post of Padmanabha Swamy temple, says there is nothing more to
loot.

Pakistan says Tamil Nadu was a part of Pakistan. PM (read Rahul) says
the issue can be resolved by talks. A special committee was formed
headed by Digvijay Singh for the talks.

Teacher "where is the CAPITAL OF INDIA?" Student "in Switzerland"

Many American and Western university girls are wooing  Indian
politicians' sons. Stanford and Harvard say that is the best job they
can get

Kasab letter found written to Osama bin Laden in 2010. You should have
hidden in India. This is the safest place to hide. They never hang us
and give us best protection and nice biryanies, unlike Pakistan.

Digvijay Singh's grandson says,"the hand in the Congress flag is also RSS hand"

Censor Board reconstituted to 3467  members. All members of Loksabha
and Rajyasabha, 200 polititians, 5 from OBC, 5 from OC, 5 from Shia
and Sunni each, 5 from Christians, 5 from police. 5 each from the 200
new acts that govt has introduced, whenever they don't want to take
action, 5 from adivasis etc etc. BJP protests saying, minority Hindus
have no say in Censor Board.

Dig Vijay Singh says Rajiv Baba (son of Rahul Gandhi) who is 18 ready
to become next Prime Minister.

Constitution amended. Now foreigners can become PM.
Because of so many acts and no law, one lawyer is allowed to take only
one case during his life time. Each case will be attended by one judge
only. If the judge dies during the 40 years of the case, his son will
automatically become a  judge and will continue the case. This is
because of the new Act Chidambaram had brought in saying, no case can
be concluded before 50 years.

Hindu Minority Commission formed. The Muslim Law Board and Christian
Missionary register strong protest on this. They say that this is
communalism.

Manmohan Singh award for the dumb declared. Politicians exempted from
income tax. Finance Minister says, it is difficult to assess because
most of the income is in cash.

PM says scams which are 7 years old should not come under the Indian
law. He said this when the Telgi stamp paper scam and Hassan Ali
hawala case came up for hearing.

He also added that we should learn from the TV channels. They never
talk about old scams, always bring new ones.
Fortune 500 "All the 500 richest men in the world are from India"

Also India's bpl (below poverty line) gone upto 90%. All money with
polititians only.

Pawar, Karunanidhi family, Jagan Yesu Samuel (he is the son of Yesu
Samuel Rajasekhar Reddy, former CM of Andhra) biggest lenders to
America.

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