Thursday, 6 November 2014

Jokes.............कोई लडकी स्कूटी पर

Fred is 34 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
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On a bus going from Ibadan to Lagos, the phone of a girl sitting close to me rang she picks it and said, "Honey, I'm in a bus going to Abuja for the burial, I'll call you when I get there".
Another girl's phone rang, she said, "Sweetheart I'm on my way to Port-Harcourt for the Masters Degree Form, please send me Credit for the trip."
Another one's phone rang, she said, "Alhaji, sorry I'm on my way to Owerri for the interview, I'll call you later."
Akpos who was sitting at the back of the bus suddenly raises his voice in anger,
"Driver stop please park! Park this bus! Where the hell is this bus going to !!!?
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Questions: अधूरे सपने पुरे करने के लिए क्या करना चाहिए !?
Answer : दोबारा सो जाना चाहिए !!
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एक मुर्गा था। बहुत जिद्दी था। अपने मालिक को बहुत परेशान करता था।
मालिक ने तंग आकर एक दिन उसे एक टोकरी मे बंद कर दिया।
लेकिन, मुर्गा तो जिद्दी था। पीछे से निकल गया।
मालिक को फिर गुस्सा आया। इस बार उसने मुर्गे को पिंजरे मे बंद कर दिया।
लेकिन, मुर्गा तो जिद्दी था। फिर पीछे से निकल गया।
मालिक को इतना गुस्सा आया कि उसने मुर्गे को मारा, पकाया और खा गया।
लेकिन, मुर्गा तो जिद्दी था.... 
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आज मैंने एक बात नोटिस की, कि सर्दियों में नहाने के लिए गरम पानी से ज़्यादा
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जिगर की ज़रूरत पड़ती है।
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टीचर :- चुम्बकीय शक्ति प्रभाव किसे कहते
हैं..?
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पप्पू :- जब कोई लडकी स्कूटी पर जाते
हुये किसी बाइक सवार लडके के पास से
गुजरती है तो उस लडके की बाइक
की गति स्वत: ही बढ जाती है..
लडकी द्वारा उत्पन्न किये गये इस
गति परिवर्तन को ही" चुम्बकीय
शक्ति प्रभाव " कहते हैं.
और ..यदि ये प्रक्रिया नहीं होती है ..तो...इसका सीधा अर्थ ये है ..की..लड़के में आयरन की कमी है .......
टीचर - प्रभु चरण कहाँ हैं आपके
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The Tata group of companies decided to invite bids for their new Power generation plant. They called for bidders, and three companies decided to bid. 

At the meeting, the Project Head of the Tata group asked the first bidder to quote his price.

The CEO of the first company who had done his MBA from Symbiosis said, "5 million. 3 mil for material and 2 mil for labour."

The Project Head then asked the CEO of the second company to present his bid.

The CEO of the second company who had done his MBA from NMIMS said, "10 million. 4 mil for material, 3 mil for labour, and another 3 for variable expenses."

The Project Head then asked the CEO of the third company to present his bid.

The CEO of the third company who was a product of IIM said, "15 million."

The project Head yelled, "15 million!!! What is the breakdown of costs?"

The CEO of the third company replied, "5 million for you. 5 for me. And 5 mil to get the fellow from Symbiosis to do the project."
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एक बेर ऐसा होया के एक मोडरन जमाने
का छोरा (लंबे बालों आला) बस मे सफर करै था।
उसी बस मे ताऊ भी बैठ्या था। ताऊ नै
सोच्चा अक या छोरी ना तो हाथां में चूडी पैहर
री, अर ना मांग भर री। ताऊ कू
आगी दया।
वो बोल्या –“ऐ बेट्टी, जवानी में ई राण्ड
होगी।” ताऊ के पडोस
वाला बोल्या के ताऊ, छोरा सै।
ताऊ नै सोच्ची अक इसके एक छोरा सै,
तो बोल्या –“चाल, कोए बात नी बेट्टी, उसके
सहारे दिन काट लिये।.
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A lion was getting married and all animals attended the wedding. Every animal stood a distance and wished then lion.
A mouse came and climbed to the stage and extended his hand to wish the lion.
The lion roared in rage and said, "How dare are you to come up the stage? Even the tiger is maintaining distance and you climbed the stage." The mouse replied and after listening to that the lion fainted. What would have the mouse said ??? Any guess???
The mouse said, "Oh shut up buddy, even I was lion before marriage."

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