Friday, 26 September 2014

Funny Hindi SMS and Jokes

Jab koi itna khas Ban jaye 
Uske Bare Me sochna Ehsas Ban jaye
To Mang lena khuda se use zindgi bhar k liye,
Isse pehle ki uski MAA kisi aur ki SAAS Ban jaye




Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo. 
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.





1 ldki prfum lga k bus pe chadi. Ldke ne coment pas kiya. 
Aajkl phinel ka use kuch zyada h hota hai.
Ldki boli fir bhi cockroch picha nhi chorte




Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye! 




Girl- kya tum mujhse pyar karte ho..?
Banta- haan
Girl- lekin tume to meri parwaah hi nahi
Banta- oye
pyar karne wale kisi ki parwaah nahi karte!




Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha 
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey 





Bahu ke 1-2 afair sunkar 
PATI ne jaan de di 
3-4 afair sunkar SASUR ne jaan de di. 
Lekin SAAS chup rahi kyu? 
KYUKI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI




Wife: Kya kar rahe ho? 
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu. 
Wife: Kitni mari? 
Man: 3 male aur 2 female. 
Wife: Kaise malum? 
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se





Kya apko ladkian pasand hai?
Kya aap ladkion ki baten sunna chahte hai? 
Kya aap hmesha ladkio se ghire rehna chahte hai? . . . 
To beta Golgappe ka thela laga lo.



Phoolon mein gulab achha lagta hai, har chehre par shabab achha lagta hai, aap hamesha naak se chuhe nikalte rahen, hamein aapka yahi andaaz achha lagta hai. 





Tcher:Shadi Kya Hai? 
Stdent:Kunwaro k Liye "Alpenlibe" Jee Lalchaye Raha Na Jaye:
Aur Shadisuda k Liye "Cloromint" Dubara Mat Puchna.



Girlfriend ko I love you bolna hai or recharge khatam. Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U. Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein. 


Sardar Dukhi Tha
Kisi Ne Pucha: Kyu Tension Me Ho?
Sardar: Yaar Ek Dost Ko plastic Surgery K Liye 2 Lakh Diye,
Ab Saale Ko Pehchan Nahi pa raha hu





Fulo ki hasi Gulab hai,
Padhne k liye jaruri kitab h,
Duniya me hr sawal ka javab h,
Agr koi mere bare me puche
to keh dena Arre wo toh LAJAVAB hai....
80 saal ka Buddha rape case me jail gaya.
Dost:- Tune is umar me ye kiya kaise?
Buddhha:- Koi rape nahi kiya.
Ye to Ilzam itna mardana tha ki
mana kar nahi paya ...
Hi dear readers here are Desi Comics - Your daily dose of desi laughter tarka of latest funny sms collection. Have happy reading...





Pata nhi kyu
log meri itni respect krte h

main jb unhe msg krti hun to wo apna sir neeche jhuka kr mera msg padhte h
bilkul aapki tarah.
MY CRAZY FANS



Aap jaise log kuch khaas lagte hain,
Dil me har waqt ek aas rakhte hain,
Jaane kb ho jaaye mulaqaat aapse,
Isliye hm 1 DISPRIN hmesa apne saath rkhate ha




Lady Doctor: Tum roz subah clinic k khade ho k auraton ko kyo ghurte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai,
Auraton ko dekhne ka Time 9-11am



Boy-hum 45 bhai behen hain..grl-kya..!! tumhare ghar popultion check karne wale nahi aaye the?
BOY-aaye the, hum padh rahe the wo coaching smajh kar chale gye.




Patient to Nurse: ‘I Love You’
Tumne to mera Dil hi Chura
Liya”. NURSE : “chal jhoota ,
.
Mene to sirf tumhaari Kidney churai
hai”
.

A girl comes late to class.
Teacher: Why a re you late ?
Girl: One boy was following me, sir.
Teacher: So, What ?
Girl: That boy was walking very slow.
You are Bandar It means:
B= Beautifull
A= Attractive
N= Naughty
D= Decent
A= Awesome
R= Rambo… :)
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa Aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
Sardar bought a new mobile.
He send message to everyone from his Cell
“My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 1110 Now it is nokia 6600?
What did the male dog say 2 the female dog in the cool nite with bright moon lite?
.
Socho ?

.
BOW BOW!
What else can a dog say?
Banta: What’s the similarity between Marriage and 11:59pm?
Santa: Dono k baad 12-bajte hain aur din badal jate hain.
Boy got a 0 in EXAM. His father asked him: YEH KIYA HAY ???
Son replies: TEACHER K PASS STARS KHATAM HO GAYE THAY UNHOON NAY AB PLANET
DAINAY SHURU KER DIYAY HAIN 




4 boys on bike..
Police:- triple riding is banned aur
tum 4 baithe ho.....??
Boys shocked...
.
.
.
look behind..
.
.
and says:- saalo 5wa kaha gir
gya...




Boy: Challte Chalte Yunhi Ruk Jata Hoon Main
Bethe Bethe Yunhi Kho Jata Hoon Main
Kya Ye Hi Pyaar Hy . . .???
Girl: Nahi Ye Kamzori Hy
Subha Shaam Glucose Piya Karo . . .
Shayari by Sardar-
“Ek ladki ko dekha to aisa laga,
dusri ladki ko dekha to vaisa laga,
par dono ne thappad mara to ek jaisa laga
Santa ko puri raat Macharo ne bahut preshan kiya…
Santa ne Zehar Piya or Bola.
“Ab kaato Saalo Sab k sab Mar jaao ge”
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
Sardar: In my dreams Rats play Football every night !
Doctor: Take this tablet you will be ok….
Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is Final Match
Pati: What’s hypnotism?
Patni: Kisi ko apne vash mein
kar K us se man chaha kaam
karwana.
Pati: Arey nahi isey to Shaadi
kehte hein
AGAR APKO LAGTA HAI KI AP BEAUTIFUL HAI
SMART HAI
CHARMING HAI TO
KUTTA PALIYE…
SAAP PALIYE..
SHER PALIYE
MAGAR
GALAT FEHMI MAT PALIYE. 










Husband : Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Faayada Hua.
Wife :kaun Sa Faayada?
Husband : Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gai
Girl:Aaj Mere Papa Ne Mujhe
Tumhare Sath Bike Pe Jaate Hue Dekha..
Bf: Phir ?
Girl:Phir Kya,
Mujhse Bus Ke Paise Wapas Le Liye..!!
Husband: Judge Sahab Mujhe DIVORCE Chahiye,
Meri Biwi Ne 1 Saal Se mujh Se Baat Nahi Ki,
Judge: Phir Soch Lo,
Aisi Biwi Qismat Walon Ko Milti Hai.
Drinkers Movies Banate Toh-
1)Soda Akbar
2)Rab Ne Pila Di Thodi
3)Rum De Basanti
4)Hum Tight Ho Chuke Sanam
5)Beer Zaara
6)Bewde Zameen Par.
Touch it gently, put 2 fingers
inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers,
make sure it’s wet and rub up
and down. Yep that’s how you
wash a cup.
Sir:Tense kitne tayp k hote hai?
Boy: 3 , present, past, future
Sir: gud
Exampl do
Boy:kal apki beti ko dekha tha,
Aaj pyar karta hu,
kal bhaga k le jaunga.
One day,
I Kicked lion's face

I puld tigers tail

I broke cheetas leg

I threw elphants

then TOY SHOP OWNER kickd me out..!
Santa road pe sandas kar raha tha.
Police ne use pakad liya.
Jab use le jaane lage to santa bola :
"sahab saboot to utha lo"!
Doctor: U Look Exactly LIke My Third Wife.
Lady: How Many Wives Do You Have?
Doc : Two..
Teacher: where is everest?
Student: I don kno..
Teacher: U Stand on the desk!
Student: stil cannot see ma'am
GOD: I can't b evrywhere so I created MOTHER.
DEVIL: I too can't b evrywhere soI created GIRLS.
GOD: Dont worry I hav created BOYS to change them to MOTHERS!
A Psychology Report..
When 2 Couples come face to face..??
Wives look at each other's SARIS
&
Husbands Look at each other's WIFE..
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
17century mom 2 her son
beta apne religion k ladkise shadikrna
18cntry-apne caste k
19cntry-apne level k
20cntry-apne desh
21cntry-koi bi par ladki se karna
Can a GIRL make u a MILLIONARE?
Yes !
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Conditions Apply:
U must be a BILLIONARE !
Wife:What Will You Give Me If I Successfully Climb & Reach The Top Of The Great Mt.Everest..
Husband:A Gentle Push..
filmon se ladkon ko kya
sikhna chahiye ??
Jannat
Murder
Gangster
Awarapan
Fanna
Titanic
.
Jo jitni mast ladki k chakar
mein pada utni hi buri mout
mara..
Ek Baat Hamesha Yaad Rakhna.
Duniya Mein Kuch Mile Na Mile.
Do Cheezein Haq Se Leni Chahiye.
Ek Samose Ke Sath Extra Chatni
Aur
Dusra Gol-Gappe Khane Ke Baad
Uska Pani .

No comments:

Post a Comment