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Friday, 1 August 2014

Jokes and Shayris ...........Once king Cobra bites Rajnikant

1 Hathi, Cow aur 1 Gadhe me bahas ho rhi thi, ki kaun best hai?

Hathi- me bhari saman uthata hu.

Cow- me dudh deti hu.



Kuch bolo ab aapki bari hai….



Anjan hai anjan hi rehne do,

Teri yado me pal-pal marne do,

Kyon badnam karti ho mera naam lekar,

Ab to is naam ko benaam hi rehne do….



Pyaar ka pehla naam Vishwas hai,

Aur dusra bewafai,

Dosti ka bhi pehla naam Vishwas hai,

Par,

Dusra naam hai

JINDGI ……..





Khuda dil ke iraade azmata hai,

Sapno ke parde aankhon se hatata hai,

Hausala mat harna jindgi me,

Kyonki-

Thoda sa dard hi insane ko jina sikhati hai…..





Santa- yar bahut raat ho gayi hai.

Aaj raat ko yahin ruk ja.

Kal subah chale jana.

Banta- thik hai yar phir me ghar se Night-dress le aata hu….



Na koi pal Subah hai,

Na koi pal Sham hai,

Har Lamha aapki Dosti ke naam hai,

Ise sirf SMS mat samajhana,

Ye hamari pyaari si Dosti ka Salam hai……



Hume SMS karma band mat karma,

Warna tumhare Mobile me itne

Ched karenge ki-

Confuse ho jaoge ki

Charge kahan se kare, aur

Baat kahan se……….





Duniya ki har khushi se aapki Mulakat ho,

Khubsurat har Din, Khushnuma har Raat ho

Khuda jab Khushiyan batane ko nikale,

To har din aapse hi Suruat ho………



Teacher ne Santa ko ped per ulta latkane ki saja di,

Thodi der baad Santa niche gir gaya,

Teacher- thak gaye?

Santa- nahi pack gaya tha….





Gussa ho,

Mujhse bologe nahi,

Sms nahi karoge,

Maf kar do na please,

Itni badi galti nahi thi,

Bas aapki punch per pair hi to rakh diya tha…..





Dil me Khuda hai,

Aankhon me Nasa hai,

Baton me Wafa hai,

Chahat me Ada hai,

Andaz bhi juda hai,

Isiliye to sab is ‘PRABHAKAR’

Pe phida hai….





Phool Shabanam me dub jate hain,

Jakhm Marham me dub jate hain,

Jab koi Sahara nahi milta hume,

Hum teri Yaadon me dub jate hain….





Kisi se kya Shikwa Karen,

Ye to Kismat ki baat hai,

Jise hum DIL se chahate the,

Wo aaj kisi aur ke sath hai…





Lalu- itne sare log Football ko lat kahe mar rahe hain.

Sardar- Goal karne ke liye.

Lalu- sasura gol hi to hai,

Aur kitna gol karenge?





Santa- dekh…dekh teri biwi ko saanp kat raha hai.

Banta- abbey wok at nahi raha.

.

/

.

Uska Zahar khatm ho gaya hai, to

Wo Recharge karwane aaya hai……





Banta- Boss, is Gaddar ka kya Karen?

Santa- ise Sui chubha kar mar do, aur

Sui iski side me rakh dena.

Police samajhegi Sui-side ka case hai…..





Lalu- ‘I LOVE YOU’ ka kya Matlab hota hai?

Soniya- me tumse Pyaar karti hun.

Lalu- lo karlo baaat,

Angreji me 1 sawal ka puchh liya,

Ye Sasuri Fida ho gayi hum pe….





Mom ki tarah pighalte dekha usko,

Raat ki tarah badalte dekha usko,

Jaane kis gam ko chupane ki tamanna hai,

Har baat pe Muskurate dekha usko,…..





Jindgi ne kayi sawalat badal diye,

Waqt ne halat badal diye,

Itne bure nahi the hum,

Naa jane kyon logon ne,

Apne khyalat badal diye….





Kaun kise DIL me jagah deta hai,

Ped bhi sukhe PATTE gira deta hai,

Waqif hai hum dunya ke riwazo se,

Dil bhar jaye to har koi Thukara deta hai…





Kabhi Shikayat na labo pe laayenge,

Dosti yun nibhayenge,

Koi tumhari Buraie mere samane karke to dekhe,

Kasam se hum bhi uski-

‘HA ME HA’ milayenge….





1 choti ladki shop pe gayi aur,

Boli jab me badi ho jaungi to mujhse Shadi karoge na,

Shopkeeper (hans ke) – ha karunga.

Ladki- to apni hone wali WIFE ko 1 Chocolate do…







Santa Tapasyaa karta hai.

Bhagwan – Var mango, Vats

Santa- ye kya kiya aapne,

Me to Vadhu ke liye Tapasya kar raha tha….





Girl- is valentine pe mujhe aisa Gift do , jo sabse Costly ho.

Boy- thik hai.

Girl- kya doge?

Boy- (sharmate hue)

‘TOMATO'
.


Once king Cobra bites Rajnikant,

After 5 days of Severe Pain.

Finally,

.

/

.

Cobra died…





I L… kaise kahu.

I Lo… kya karu.

I Lov…. Dekho bura mat manana.

I Lov… mujhe Galat mat samajhna.

.

/

.

/

.

I Love KITKAT….





Khud ko kar nalayak itna ki,

Koi bhi book padhne se pehle,

Uska har panna tumse khud puche,

Dost tabiyat to thik hai na,

Aaj kaise yaad aayi….





Santa ne apni biwi ko dost ke sath dekh,

Dost ko goli mar di,

To-

Biwi boli- apne gusse pe kabu rakho warna,

1 din sare doston se hath dho baithoge….





Chahat se ikrar na karte,

Uski kashmo ka aitbar na karte,

Agar pata hota hum kuchh nahi unke liye,


Jaan de dete ,per pyaar na karte..
.
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