Sunday, 20 July 2014

Santa Banta Jokes............ Large Collection .Part 2

Judge: This is 3rd time u r coming to court, u don't feel shame..? Sardau r coming daily, dont u feel shame...!?? Good Morning...!

Sardarji was getting down at every station, buying ticket next station.Asked why he was doing so, he said,'the doctor told me to avoid long journey

Sardar 2 his kid Teri mummy muje "A G" kehkar kyun bulati hai? Kid "kyunki, Mummy smart hai. Isliye bhare bazaar me Abe gadhe(A G) Kehna Sabhyata nahi hoti!

I sent u many messages but u didn't send me even a single message.Now i am deleting your number.Good Bye.A Sardar sent this2 customer care.

Boss: Ek achcha mirror leke aao jisme mujhe mera face dikayi de!Santa: Boss nahi mila me sab dukan me gaya par sab me mera hi face dikhayi diya

Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.

Santa was shopping in store.Salesman: Sir, would u like to use a pocket calculator?Santa: No thanx. I know how many pockets I have

Sharabi Sardar knocks d door of house.His wife open d door.Sardar-Who r u?Wife-How dare u to 4 get ur wife.Sardar-Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai'BEHAN!'

Banta: U cheated me. ShopkeepeNo, I sold a good radio to u. Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio

Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere". After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."

Santa was standing near a street light with open mouth.man-Oye santa, wht r u doing?Santa: Doctor asked me to eat light food.

Santa ki patni ne santa se boli aap hazaro me ek hai. santa ne ek tappad mara aur bola baki 999 koun hai?

Ek Raat, ek Chor Sardar k Ghar me Ghus gaya aur bola SONA kaha hai?Sardar:- Ullu k patthe,pura Ghar khaali hai kahi bhi jaake SOJA

Santa : May I come in sir?Interviewer : Wait please...Santa : 75 kg sir!

1boy wen2 SARDARS SALOON sardar-kaun sa style banavu Boy"TERE NAAM" styleaftr haircut boy got angry & said,ye kya kiya Srdr-sory mein INTERVAL k baad deki thi

Do Sardar chess khel rahe the.1st: Ab bas hua. Hum khel bandh karte hai2nd: Thik hai,waise bhi tumhara ghoda aur mera hathi hi bacha hai

1 sardar running with his cycle. Person:Y r u running with cycle, u can sit & ride d cycle Sardar-Arey bahut jaldi me hu baitne ki bi fursat nahi hai..

just imagine u r in the 3rd floor. It catches fire. How will u escape?" santa: "it is very simple i will stop my imagination

Pathologist:Ye urine sample nai,Apple juice hai!Santa's wife:Ek phone kar loon?Dr:Why?Wife:Santaji ko batana hai k urine botle unke tiffin me chali gayi hai

Banta: Bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main talab ka pani ghus gaya he Santa: Oye kyon jhoot bolta hay, ghar ki chabi to merepaas he

Santa-Ladki fasani aati hai?Banta-Nahi Santa-seekh Pehle 1 kagaz Ka jahaaj banao,Fir use class me udaao.Mam k puchne par ladki ka naam lagao

A sardar looking at d sky asks anothr sardaIs that the sun or d moon?Othr sardar replies: Oye! No Idea. Im new to this c..

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

Santa:Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya,mujhe 1000 Rs chaiye.Banta: Dost hi dost k kaam aata he, le 10 Rs, riksha kar or purse le aa.

In Park,Cop 2 Santa-Park me aise baithe ho,Bacho pe kya asar padega?S-Hum Dono Marred heC-To Ghar me Betho S-Tab iske Pati pe kya asar Padega

Ek Sardar Dosre Sardar Se.. Oye Yeh Sent Message Kya Hota Hai? Dosra Sardar:Jis Message Me Khushboo Ho Usse Sent Msg Kehte Hai..

Sardar Prays Daily for 2hrs"Hey GOD meri Lottery lagade"After 1yr God angrily appears&says- Abe..ek bar ticket to le le MAMU..

Sardar givs dictation test 4 students,last bench stdnt say: we r not able to hear sir, sardaok i'll write on the board.,..

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!...

TeacheWhat is ur father?Santa: I.C.S. in summer & P.C.S. in winterTeacheWats dat?Santa: Ice-cream seller in summer & Pakoda chat seller in winter

Santa:What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. Engineer:How would we know they were late,if we didn't have a schedule?

SANTA bada sa Bag leke bus me ghusa Or Zor se chillaya: 'Khabardar'koi apni jgah se ni hilega."SANTA SINGH KULFI WALA KHUD SAB K PAS AYEGA.

DoctoYou have brain tumour. SardaYes… Oh, Thanks doctor. DoctoWhy are you so happy ? SardaIt proves that I have brain.

Santa 2 Airhsts:Aapki Surat Meri Biwi Se Milti He.Airhsts Slapped Santa.Santa:Kamal He! Aadatein Bhi Milti He!

Joke of the Century:Teacher asked Sardar" If U dial 001 then what will happen?"Sarda"Police Jeep will come, in Reverse Gear...

In war field Sardar covering his body with a mosquito net. Soldier asked why? Sardwhen a mosqito cant entr in this net, then HOW CAN A BULLET!.

My father dug the Suez Canal. Banta: That's nothing, have you heard of Dead Sea?Santa: Yes, I have.Banta: My dad killed it.

Mngr:Y ru late?sardr:Sir on the way I saw my frnd& came in his vehicleMngr:u came here by vehicle,den y late?sardr:that is Road roller.

Sardr1 Coffee How Much Sir? Owne1 Coffee Rs.5 SardaOpposite Shop Its 50P Only OwneU Stupid That Is Xerox Copy Not Coffee..

Boy:"Oh,look at the dead bird!"Sardar looked at the sky and said "Where, Where?"

Sardar apni biwi ko Dr. Ke pas dikhane le gaya, Aur Dr. Ko khub mara, sabne pucha kya hua Sardarji. Sardar bola, Dr. Bolta hai meri biwi ka BP dekhna hai

Santa-Ye 10 lakh ka cheque kisko de rahe ho?? Banta-apne bhai ko. Santa-apna sign to kar do. Banta-nahi. Main apna naam gupt rakhna chahta hu.

A man:SANTA ur son diedHearing dis he jumps frm 50th floor35th floor he realizes:I dont hav a son20th:I'm not married&3rd:Shit I'm banta

Santa: raat pados wali larki mere dream main ayi thiJeeto: Acha? phir akeli he ayi ho giSanta: (Hairan ho ke) haan akeli thi lekin tumhain kese pata?Jeeto: kyon ke us ka husband mere dream main aya hua tha

Santa-Ghar me aag Lag gayi Banta-Mujhe kya?Santa-Bewkuf, tere ghar me Lgi he Banta-To tujhe kya?

santa-mujse vada kr k teri biwi ki pahli kiss muje lene dega banta-vada h par meri b 1 shart he Snta-wo kya?bnta-mai shadi teri bahan se Krunga

Sardawife se.. Kamwali Shanti ko bulao,wife:kyon?sardaDr.bola hai ke raat ko tonik aur goli khao Aurshanti ke sath so jao..

Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.Banta asked: What are you doing? Santa: Drying sweat

Santa: What is my exam number...???TeacheIts 438625.Santa: I paid Rs.1000 for exam, please give me a fancy number!!!

Sardar at bar in New York.A Man say 'Johny Walker single'other say 'Peter Scotch single' Sardar say 'Baljith Singh Maried'

Santa asks his new girlfriend, what sort of books you are interested in? She replies: Cheque books.

Santa: Oh god! Please make New York, the capital of Punjab! Banta: Why are you praying so? Santa: Bcz, that is what I have written in the exam

Wife: raat tum pi kar gutter mein gir gaye they. Santa: kya bataon, sab GALAT sangat ka asar hai. Hum 4 dost... 4 botlein... aur woh teenon peetay nahi thay

Teacher : Why u didn't do ur homework ?Sardar : i am in hostel how can i do home work ?''

Banta to his wife:Get married to Santa after my death. Wife:But why? He is your no. 1 enemy. Banta:This would be the best way to avenge Santa

A Sardar found hs wife having affair.Sardr decided 2 kill her & himself.Sardr ne apne kaan pe Gun lagayi or wife ko bola-"Khush mat ho.Agla numbr tera hai.

Sardar writing a letter:My sister had a baby ths morning. I havnt heard that its a boy or a girl,So i dnt knw whether i m uncle or aunty

SardaR Express kitne baje ka hai?Man: 1 baje Sard local?Man: 9 baje SardR malgadi?Man: 12 baje Man: kahan jaana hai?Sard Rail line cross karni hai..

Ek dost ne santa se poocha "yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyondekhta rehta."....Santa "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharch hone do."

Santa went to mysore palace.Tourist guide : Santaji plz dont sit there, its TIPU SULTAN's chair.Santa : oye dont worry yaar i will get up when he comes.!!

Judge: This is 3rd time u r coming to court, u don't feel shame..? Sardau r coming daily, dont u feel shame...!?? Good Morning...!

Sardarji was getting down at every station, buying ticket next station.Asked why he was doing so, he said,'the doctor told me to avoid long journey

Sardar 2 his kid Teri mummy muje "A G" kehkar kyun bulati hai? Kid "kyunki, Mummy smart hai. Isliye bhare bazaar me Abe gadhe(A G) Kehna Sabhyata nahi hoti!

I sent u many messages but u didn't send me even a single message.Now i am deleting your number.Good Bye.A Sardar sent this2 customer care.

Boss: Ek achcha mirror leke aao jisme mujhe mera face dikayi de!Santa: Boss nahi mila me sab dukan me gaya par sab me mera hi face dikhayi diya

Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.

Santa was shopping in store.Salesman: Sir, would u like to use a pocket calculator?Santa: No thanx. I know how many pockets I have

Sharabi Sardar knocks d door of house.His wife open d door.Sardar-Who r u?Wife-How dare u to 4 get ur wife.Sardar-Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai'BEHAN!'

Banta: U cheated me. ShopkeepeNo, I sold a good radio to u. Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio

Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere". After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."

Santa was standing near a street light with open mouth.man-Oye santa, wht r u doing?Santa: Doctor asked me to eat light food.

Santa ki patni ne santa se boli aap hazaro me ek hai. santa ne ek tappad mara aur bola baki 999 koun hai?

Interviewer:what is skeleton? Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..

Doctor2Sardar-U hv 206 bones in Ur bodySar-tel it slowlyDr-Y?S-my Dog is outside if it hears i m finishd-

Santa:Yar kal meri Girlfrnd ka b'day he,samajh nai a raha kya du?Banta:Dekhne me kaisi he?Santa:Bahut khobsurat!Banta:Mera number de de!!

Santa: What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent, understanding, caring, nvr jealous and a great cook? Banta: "Afwaahh"!!

Santa bought a car on loan… He didn’t pay the dues, the bank took away his car.Santa: If I knew this, I,d have taken a loan for my marriage also.

Banta puchhta hai "jab ek ladka aur ladki pyar karte hai to vo kiss kyo karate hai?" Santa bola "maaf kijiye ji muze pata nahi. mai is shahar me naya hu"

Santa: My wedding is going to happen. Banta: Whats the problem now.? Santa: My wife did'nt know it...!

Santa: I have swallowed a key. Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back! Doctor: What were you doing till now? Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

Sardar orders pizza. Waiter: Sir shud I cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces? Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

Ultimate answer while changing the job. Interviewer: Why did you change your last job? Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where.

Taxi Driver- petrol khatm ho gaya hai. Gadi aage nahi ja sakti. SARDAR-KOI BAAT NAHI,reverse lelo, vapas ghar chalenga

Judge: why r u arrested? Sardar: for shopping early? Judge: well, thats not a crime, anyway how early u shopping? Sardar: before opening the shop

Chalti Train me Sardar Ji 1 Dibbe Mai Chad Gaye. TT Bola: Kyun Paa Ji, Nazar Nahi Aate, Ye Ladies Ka Dibba Hai. Sardar : Ohe ! Ji Sorry Ji, Mere Ko Laga Aap Mard Ho

Banta: Kya Hua,Ye Mitti Kyun Khod Raha Hai? Santa: Papa ji Ne Bola Mene Unka Nam Mitti Me Mila Diya, Wohi Dund Raha Hu

SANTA hamesha Apne Mobile K Saath 1 Scissor Rakhta Tha, Kisi Ne Poocha?? KYO SANTA: :”O Yaara Kbhi Kbhi Call Katna B Par Jata Hy Na

Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job." Banta: "Did you?" Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed."

Jeeto: If I die what'll you do? Santa: I may also die. Jeeto: Why? Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage. Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out. Santa: I didn't say he got out.

Teacher : Maine tumhe kutte pe essay likhne kaha tha, Kahan likha? Sardar: Sir, kya karta jaise hi kutte pe pen rakhta tha,wo bhag jata tha..

ONE DAY A MAN ASKED TO SARDAR "MR.SARDAR DOES ANY BIG AND GREAT POEPLE BORN IN YOUR COUNTRY. SARDAR:NO SIR ONLY SMALL BABIES

Son: Dad did you have a love marriage with mom? Santa: Yes son. How do you know? Son: Coz of the difference of 4 months between your marriage and my date of birth.

Santa: Doctor, when I take a bath I get wet. Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath, turn off the tap.

Teacher: What is the difference between Landline and Mobile Phone..? Sardar: On landline we dial number with our finger while on mobile we dial number with our thumb.

Santa 1st time plane me baitha. plane runway pe chal raha tha, tabhi usne pilot ko thappad mara aur bola- mujhe der ho rahi hai aur tu by road jaa raha hai...

Sardars friend slaps himSardar:U slapped me seriously or just for fun?Friend:SeriouslySardar:Then its ok, I dont like people making FUN OF ME!...

2 Srdr brothers appeard 4exam1st writes fathr's name as Daljit singh2nd writs Manjit singh.TEACHER-whats this?SRDR-otherwise u say v copied...

How does a sardarji dial 9844498444? First he dials 98444 and then presses 'REDIAL'...! Intelligent sardar...

Santa was busy removing wheels from his car Banta: Pahiye kyun khol rahe ho? Santa: Anpadh gawaar! Dikhta nahi kya Samne likha hai-Parking for 2 wheelar

Sardar dials a no. and a girl picks up the phone.Sardar says: kaun?Girl: main geeta,aap kaun?Sardamain guru granth sahib.

Sardar mujra dekhne gaya, sari raat mujra dekha.Bai ne kaha! Sahab humne aap ko khush kiya Ab aap hume khush karo.SARDAR utha or khud nachne laga..

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