Monday, 21 July 2014

Jokes ............Sau saal pehle mujhe tumse pyar tha

Himesh ka kutta ghar se bhag gya.Dusre kutte ne usse pucha-yar tune woh ghar kyun choda?usne kaha-yar rat ko gane ki prctis wo karta h,subah log muje marte hai.

2 sikh Soldiers capture a pakistani, gav him a dice & said-if u get 1,2,3,4,5 we'll kill u.Paki. askd-6 aya to?Sikh -luddio nahi kheli kya? dobara bari.

Train chali,Bheed badi,Itne me break lagi,1 Ladka 1 ladki se ja takraya,Ladki boli :- "Janvar ho kya?"Ladka bola :-"Jaan to tum ho, mai to Var hu."

Jiska koi dost nahi hota use kya kehte hain ANS: "KOENA MITRA"

Premika-Me maa banne wali hun Premi-kya bakvas kar rahi ho? Premika-Bakvas nahi, me tumhare baap se shadi karke tumari maa banne wali hu.

EK AISE JAGAH KA NAAM BATAO JO BANAYA TO AADMI NE, PER AADMI JA NAHI PAATE....???Ans:Ladies Toilet.....

PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500. MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

TeacheSach aur Veham main kya faraq hai? Student: Aap jo humain padha rahi hain, wo sach hai, hum padh rahe hain, ye aapka

Son: Dad idhar aa.. MotheAise nahi boltey beta... Daddy ko izzat ke saath bulate hain... Son: DAD izzat se idher aa..

Thief with knife:Tera paisa nikal.! Man-u know who I am? I'm the FinanceMinister Thief:Acchha???To phir MERA paisa nikal

Pati patni ki jabardast ladai ke baad patni bhagwan se boli AGAR YE GALAT HAI TO INKO UTHA LO,agar main galat hoon to muje VIDHVA Bana do

Munna : Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai. Circuit : Aey Bhai!!! aap to khud doctor ho. Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.

Bond was travelling in an Auto. Driver:7.50 huye Saab! Bond:Yeh lo 5 rupaye. Driver:Lekin baki ke 2.50? Bond:DHAI ANOTHER DAY.

MAMU: Bhai, apne ko char mahine me Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao. MUNNA BHAI TAMIL kyun, aur char mahine ka kya chakkar hai? MAMU: Maine ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahine me bolne lagega.

Bikhari Ne Fone Kia! Hello Taj Hotel? Ha Ji 1Pizza 1Biryani 1RasMalai Bhej Do Taj:Kiske Nam Se Bheju Sir Bhikari:Allah K Nam Pe Bhejde Baba

Pati:What's hypnotism? Patni:Kisi ko apne vash mein kar K us se manchacha kaam karwana. Pati:Are nahi use to shaadi kehte hai.

Narad muni dharti par BEER pene aye,12 botal pilane k bad, waiter:Apko chadti kyu nahi? Narad:Main BHAGWAN hoon.waiter:Chad gayi SALE ko.

WIFE : kyu ji! Jab bhi me aapke pass aati hu to aap Chasma pahen lete ho? 
HUSBANd : Doctor ne kaha hai jab SHIR-DARD aaye to Chasma pahen lena..

Lady TeacheRam make one sentence in which all tenses past, present & future are included. 
Ram: Sau saal pehle mujhe tumse pyar tha Aaj bhi hai aur Kal bhi rahega!

One day RAVAN went to disco... aur woh behosh ho gaya, due to shock..! why...?? bcoz the entry fee was Rs. 1500 per head

Aji Agar Me Gum Ho Gai To Tum Kya Karoge...? Pati:- Its A Time To Disco,Kon Dhundega Tujko, Kabhi Na Mile Tu Mujko,Its the time to disco...

Memon: Yeh kaila(banana) kaisay diya? Shopkeepe1Rs. Memon: 60 Paisa ka deta hai? S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega. Memon:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de

Girl:m tumhry lye sub kuch chor du gi Boy: ma baap Girl:Yes Boy: khana penna Girl: Yes Boy: sari dunya Girl: Yes Boy:Star Plus Girl: apna mou sanbhal k bat kro

ricky drives into way & cross NoEntry board. Police said:Abe,NO ENTRY board dikhta nahi kya? ricky:Main laga film ka postar hai.

Ek aadmi BLOOD k bare me book padh raha tha. Wife ne pucha-kyu aaj ye padh rahe ho? aadmi-Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai kal mera blood test hai

Patni=Suno ji, doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ke aaram ke liye kisi Hill station par jane ko kaha hai,hum kaha jayenge? Pati=Dusre Dr. ke Paas..

boy & girl of 5th class asking there teacher: kia bachoon ke bachey hotey hein? teacher replied: nhi. boy to girl: dekha tum aisey hi dar rehi thi.

Mobile repair krne walay ko loose motion ho jaye to wo kaisey explain karega? Doctr sahab subah se missed calls aa rahi hain,outgoing main taklif ho rhi ha.Subah se naye naye ringtone baj rahe hain. or pait main balance nahin bach raha, jitna b recharge kro utna kharach ho rha hai

There is only one boy who is allowed to touch every part of a girl body and reliable guess who is that boy?..... Thats LIFEBOY yaar.

Ek aadmi ki wife ka rang kaala thha, ek din vo peeli saree pehenke apne pathi se puchi, main kaisi lag rahi hoon? hus:Jaise koyla ki factory mein aag lagi ho.

Why r Doctor's prescriptions imposible 2 read?Bcoz they hve an exclusive msg only 4 d chemist-'Maine patient ko loot liya,ab teri baari hai'. Cheer up.Smile.

PUNJAB POLICE ka koi jawab nahi, kal 1 BIHARI talab me naha raha tha to ek POLICEwala kehta :- chal oye bahar aa k kapde pahen, teri talashi leni hai...

Munna bhai-abe circuit,1baat bata,agr bina daant ka kutta kisi ko kate to kya karte hai? (Circuit bahut sochne k baad) Simple hai bhai,bina sui k 14 injection lagva do!! :)

Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA But girraffe was not eating. Why? Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND

Ek pagal gusse me: oye mai is duniya ko mita dunga… mita dunga… mita dunga… Dusra pagal: he he he! mai tujhe rubber hi nai dunga

Father 2 Son: Pados ki ladki ko dekh wo exam men 1st ayi hai. Son: Usi ko dekhta tha, tabhi to fail hogaya

Why do boys go to temple? B'cause temple is the only place where u can find pooja bhavana shradha aarti archana aradhana shanti Jyoti priti & finaly Trupti

Thappad marne pe naraj patni ko pati bola,"adami use marta he jise pyar karta he." Patni ne pati ko 2 mare or boli "aap kya samjte he k me apse pyar nahi karti.

Munabhai-Ye sali govt drinking nd driving sath2 Q nahi karne deti? Circuit-Simple hE bhai.Bhai wo speed breakar aane par gilas gir sakta he.

Man: Sir, my wife is missing. Postmaster:Ye Post office hai, Police station me complaint dijiye Man: KHUSHI ke maare mein kya karu, kuch samajh mei nahi aata!!

Munna bhai. A cercuit MURGA & MURGI me diffrence kaise samajhne ka? Cercuit. Simple hai bhai,Ek patthar marne ka BHAGA to MURGA or BHAGI to MURGI...

Wife:Chalo na kahin chalte hai,ghumne car me aur car me drive karungi. Husband:Yadi tum car drive karogi to jayenge car me,ayenge akhbaar me

Ganguli's son : Are dekho maa. Papa sixer pe sixer mare ja rahe hain. Gangulis wife : Beta ye ADVERTISEMENT hai !!! .....:-)

Ravan ko court me le gae bola Gita par hanth rakho RAVEN - Nahi Sita par hanth rakhkar itni musibat aai ab Gita par hant nahi rakhunga.

HRITHIK:Aaj Mere pass 14Car hai,8 Bikes hai,4 Bunglow hai,Farm house hai..... Tumhare pass kya hai? ABHISHEK:Mere baap ke sir pe bal hai!

Girl:Is dress ka kya price hai?Shopkeeper:Sirf 5 kiss.Girl:Aur us dress ka?Shopkeeper:10 kiss.Girl:Dono dress pack kar do,bill dadi dengi.

Bhikhari : Sahab 1 Rupaye de do!!! Sahab : kal Ana.. Bhikhari : Sara is kal kal ke chakkar mein to is basti me mera Lakho Rupaye fase hai!!

What is the moral of movie RANG DE BASANTI? Ladkiyo ke lafde me mat pado… Khali ladkiya bachti hai, baki sab ladke mar jate hai..

Ek bhoot doosre bhoot se : Tujhe kisi se dar nahi lagta? 2sra : nahin 1st : kabhi sardar dekha hai? 2ra: sardar vardar kuch nahi hota, sab man ka vaham hai

bikari : 50 paise de de ,maine 3 din se khana nahi khaya baba marvadi : 50 paise nahi 5 rupaye dunga,pehle yeh bata 50 paise mein khana kaha milta hai…”??

A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

Man: Sir, my wife is missing. Postmaster:Ye Post office hai, Police station me complaint dijiye Man: KHUSHI ke maare mein kya karu, kuch samajh mei nahi aata!!

Munabhai-Ye sali govt drinking nd driving sath2 Q nahi karne deti? Circuit-Simple hE bhai.Bhai wo speed breakar aane par gilas gir sakta he.

Wife:Chalo na kahin chalte hai,ghumne car me aur car me drive karungi. Husband:Yadi tum car drive karogi to jayenge car me,ayenge akhbaar me

Ganguli's son : Are dekho maa. Papa sixer pe sixer mare ja rahe hain. Gangulis wife : Beta ye ADVERTISEMENT hai !!! .....:-)

Patni:Mei jab gaana gaati hoon toh aap balcony mei kyo chale jate ho Pati:kahi muhalle wale aisa na samjhe mei tumara gala daba raha hoon.

Papa beti Se-Beti pehle to tum mujhe Papa kehti thi,Lekin ab tum mujhe DaD kehti ho,kyu? Beti-Oh DaD,PaPa kehne se Lipstic khrab ho jati hai. "Ghor KalYug"...

Lady to Conductor: Bhai,Kitne Hrs. Bus Mein Rehte Ho? Conductor:24 Hrs. Lady: How? Cond:8Ghante Iss Bus Mein Baaki 16Ghante Biwi K Bus Mein.

A boy shying to propose a girl finally proposed in a unique way:- "kya tum mujhe apni chita ko aag lagane ka adhikar dogi??"

GADHA 1-Yaar malik bahut marta hai.GADHA 2-Ghar chorde.GADHA 1-Nahi yaar! Wo beti se bolta rehta hai - teri shadi gadhe se kar dunga. Ye sochke ruk jata hu.

Girl's father- main nahi chahta ki meri beti apni puri zindgi ek gadhe k sath guzare. Boyfriend-bas isiliye main use yaha se le jane aya hun

Munna bhai. A cercuit MURGA & MURGI me diffrence kaise samajhne ka? Cercuit. Simple hai bhai,Ek patthar marne ka BHAGA to MURGA or BHAGI to MURGI...

"Maathe pe lahu,sir pe ret..Wah!Wah! Jara Gaur karna.Mathe pe lahu,sir pe ret. Kyonki PADOSAN ne phool mara. 'GAMLE SAMET."

Patni:Wo sharabi dekh rahe ho,10 sal pehle maine usse shadi k liye inkar kiya tha or wo aj tak pi raha hai. Pati:Wah itni lambi celebration.

Salesman tension me tha. DEALER-Kya hua? S.MAN-Mai 6 months tour pe tha, biwi Pregnant ho gai DLR-Ab pata chala bina order k maal aye to kaisa lagta hai..

Aadmi Sadhu se bola:-Meri Biwi Bahut Pareshan Karti Hai,Koi Upaay Bataao.Sadhu Bola:-Saale Upaay Hota To Main Sadhu Kyon Bantaa.Hari Om..

Two snakes sitting in the jungle, Female snake tried to kiss the male snake, Suddenly male snake turned and started singing ‘zehar hai ki pyar hai tera chumma’!

After finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna start his practice. He checked 1st patient eyes, tongue & ears by torch & finallly said Bole To.. Torch Theek hai

Patient: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis k liye? Doctor: ye mera pehla operation hai… Success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye..

TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”? PAPPU : “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L” TEACHER : No, that’s wrong PAPPU : Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America . PAPPU : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America ? CLASS : PAPPU!

LADKI WALE=BETA-DRINK KARTEHO? JI HAAN JUA/SATTA? JI HAAN DANGA-FASAD? JI HAAN SARI NGETIVE BATEIN,KUCH POSITIVE BHI HAI? HIV

LADKI WALE=BETA-DRINK KARTEHO? JI HAAN JUA/SATTA? JI HAAN DANGA-FASAD? JI HAAN SARI NGETIVE BATEIN,KUCH POSITIVE BHI HAI? HIV

EK BIHARI KI MAUT BIJLI GIRNE SE HUI. PAR US KI LAASH HASTE HUE MILI. BHAGWAN NE PUCHHA: AISA KYUN? BIHARI: HUM SOCHA KOI SASURA HUMARI PHOTO

Mallika at Airport. Bhikhari: behanji 1 rupiya dedo. Malika gave him 1000 Rs. Secretary: why U gave him 1000 Rs..? Malika: pehli bar kisine behan kaha.

Pati patni se:- kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul gobar jaisa swad hai Patni(matha peet te hue)Hey bhagwan!Na jane inhone kya-kya khaKe dekhahAI

Judge: U r crossing the limits. Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai? Judge: How dare you call me saala? Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do. Saheb: Kal aana. Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.

Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay ghar ja raha tha kay achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai

Patni=Suno ji, doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ke aaram ke liye kisi Hill station par jane ko kaha hai,hum kaha jayenge? Pati=Dusre Dr. ke Paas..

SAWAAL: Patni maike jaakar pati ko roj phone kyun karti hai?? JAWAAB: Taki pati ko yaad rahein musibat tali nahi phir aane waali hai..

MunnaBhai: Yaar yeh kutte poonch kyon hilate hain? Bole to dog tail shaking WHY? Circuit: Common sense Bhai! Ab poonch kutte ko to nahin hila sakti hai na.

Pati patni se:- kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul gobar jaisa swad hai Patni(matha peet te hue)Hey bhagwan!Na jane inhone kya-kya khaKe dekhahAI

Angry Boss: tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai.. Executive (Sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.. Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho, meri taraf dekho..

Why sindhis are banned from playing hockey and football? B' coz... corner milte hi DUKAN Khol dete hai...

Luv and Kuch are going to a village & in between comes A well. Luv falls into the well. Why??? Because Luv (love) is blind !!!!! Now , Kuch also jumps inside. Why?? Because Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!

How do u CUT roads????? By LAUGHING..... Because "Haste Haste Cut jaye Raste"

Wife: Jab tum DESI pite ho mujhe PARO kehete ho, jab Whisky pite ho toh DARLING kehete ho. Aaj kya piya hai jo CHUDEL keh rahe ho. Husband: Aaj main hosh main hu.

Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath... Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya ho

Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja. Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya? Ladka: Pagli mandir thode hi hai, aise hi aaja!!

What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE? Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai...... Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai

1 Medical student ne apni classmet ko khun se likha letter dekar kaha, Muje iska answer jarur dena. Ladki Ne Ans Diya Tumara blodgrp B+hai

Ek admi kabar par baitha tha, musafir ne pucha dar nahi lagta? admi bola darne ki kya baat kabar me garmi lag rahi thi thodi der bahar aa gaya.

Mallika at Airport. Bhikhari: "behanji 1 rupiya dedo." Malika gave him 1000 Rs. Secretary: "why U gave him 1000 Rs..?" Malika: "pehli bar kisine behan kaha."

WIFE: kyu ji! Jab bhi me aapke pass aati hu to aap Chasma pehente ho? HUSBANd: Doctor ne kaha hai jab SAR DARD aaye to Chasma pehen lena."

Young girl goes 2 Dr wth mom. Girl-Medicl check up karana hai. Dr-sare kapde utar ke parde ke piche let jao. Girl-mera nai,mummy ka. Dr-Mataji aap jibh dikhaiye

Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye...??? Circuit: simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lene ka..!!!

What do you call a female who never laughs? "HASINA"

Maalik: Ramu, iss saal tum 4 bar apne dada ke marne ki chutti le chuke ho. Ramu: Maalik, iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai.

Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi? Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya? Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai? Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

Maine puchha chand se "dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin", chand ne kaha "saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya".

In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon. Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW

Ladki ke baap ne vidai ke wazt dulhe se kaha beta hamari ijjat ab tumare hath me hai, Dulha bola: Chinta mat karo aaj hi loot lunga

FATHER TO HIS DAUTHER"S LOVER-Main nahi chahta ke meri beti GADHE ke saath puri zidagi bitaaye. LOVER-Isiliye to me usey yaha se le jaa raha hoo."

Ek Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya,Counter clerk asks-Kuch kehna chahte ho ? Sharabi-Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hai....

Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai….ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de. Mom: tera dost chor hai kya? Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pahechan lega.

Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.Wife: Kitni mari?Man: 3 male aur 2 female.Wife: Kaise malum?Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se.

Thappad marne pr naraj patni ko pati bola admi use marta he jise pyr karta he patni ne pati ko 2mare or boli aap kya samjte hd k mai apse pyar nhi karti.

Patni: Suno ji, Aapko Mujme Sabse Jayada kaya Acha Lagta hai, Meri Beauty ya Meri Akalmandi? Pati: Muje to yeh teri Majak karne ki Aadat Sabse achhi lagti hai..

Sharmaji ki zen ke piche likha tha, 'Sawan ko aane do.' Pechese truck ne thok diya. Uspar likha tha, 'Aaya sawan jhum ke.'

Munna bhai: Yeh oxford kya hai? Circuit: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi..

Ek shadishuda aadmi ladkiyo ke samne dekh raha tha. Kisi ne objection liya. Usne jawab diya kya upvas ho to menu card bhi nahi dekh sakta

An old rich man marry a young girl. Interviewer ask to girl apne inme shadi ke liye kya dekha Girl ek inki in come, doosre inke din kam.

Mareej ne achanak Aankhe kholte hue kaha, Doctor sahib,kya mera Operation kamyab raha? sabar se kaam lo beta,Main Doctor nhi, YAMRAJ hun"......"

Ek aadmi kabar par baitha tha.Musafir ne pucha dar nahi lagta? Aadmi:Darne ki kya baat hai,andar garmi lag rahi thi thodi der bahar aa gaya!

Rang De Basanti dekhne k baad ek Sardar ko bahut Gussa aaya. Friend asked:Why u r so much angry? Sard:Saala poori film me Basanti dikhi nahi....

Mareej ne achanak Aankhe kholte hue kaha," Doctor sahib,kya mera Operation kamyab raha? "sabar se kaam lo beta,Main Doctor nhi, YAMRAJ hun'......

Once a donkey kickd a sardar n ran away. Sardar ran 2 catch d donkey, he saw a zebra n strtd beatng it n said "track suit pehen ke aaya to mai pahchanunga nahi kya? ..."

A Sardar went to museum, there he broke a statue. OFFICER: you have broken a 5000 yrs old statue !! Sardar:ThankGod ! Mujhe laga naya tha.

Sardar:Dr saab 2 saal pehle mujhe bukhar hua tha. Dr:to ab kya hua.Sardar:hua to kuch nahi aapne nahane ko mana kiya tha AB NAHA LU KYA..?

Napolean There is no such word as IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary... Sardarji toh dictionary dekh ke kharidni thi na....!!

Ek din Narad dharti par BEER pine aye,12 botal pilane k baad: Waiter:Aapko chadti kyo nahi? Narad:MAIN BHAGWAN HU. Waiter:Chad gayi saale.

Wife:Apko pata hai mr.R apni patni ko kiss karke hi office jate hai,lekin apne kabhi ki. Husband:Chahta to mein bhi hu,lekin mr.R ki biwi nahi manegi.

RABDi2LALU: Ka Karat Ho? LALU: Dost Ko Chitti Likhat Hu. RABDi: Par Tuhar Likhna To Aawe Nahi. LALU: Vo Sasura Bhi To Padna Naahi janat he....

PATI:phon mere liye ho to kehna me ghar pe nahi. biwi phon utha k boli who ghar pe hai, PATI:mene mana kiya fir bhi. BIWI:ji wo mere liyetha

Lalu : Itane sare log football ko lath kyou mar rahe hai? Sardar : Gol karne ke liye. Lalu : Sasura gol hi to hai aur kitna gol karenge?!

Husband aur wife hotel me gaye tabhi 1 lady ne Hello kiya, Wife koun thi wo? Hus Tum dimag kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hu ki woh bhi Yehi puchegi..

Sindhi: Bhagwan tu mujhe 100 Rs dega toh 50 Rs tumhe chadhaunga. Thodi door par usko 50 Rs milte hai. Sindhi: Prabhu itna bhi bharosa nahi, PEHLE HI KAAT LIYA

Sharabi knocks d Door of his Home.Wife Opens d Door.Sharabi asks Who r u? W:How dare u 4gt Ur Wife? He ans:Nasha har Gamko bhula deta hai

Teacher: what is ur caste? Student: pehle to assi rajput si, fir pandit ho gaye, hun haige sardarji.. ab agge mummy di MARZI !!!

BOY: Wud u mind dancing with me? GIRL: Sorry, main bache ke saath nahi nachti. BOY: Oh sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki aap PREGNANT hai ok u enjoy.......!

Ek Chota baby Apni Pregnent Mummy Se Puchta Hai Isme Kya Hai,MUMMY:Isme Pyara Baby Hai, BABY:Itna Pyara Thaa Toh KHAA Kyo Gayi…

Wife: "Sardarji aaj kuch aisa karo ki mere paseene nikal jaaye."Sardar gets up and switches off the fan..!

HANSA: A Prafful wife ko BEGUM kyo kahete he? PRAFFUL: Are hansa shaadi ke baad sare GUM husband ko milte he or BIWI... BE GUM ho jati he!!

Laloo: Itne sare log football ko lath kyu mar rahe hai? COCH: "Goal karne ke liye" Laloo: Sasura, Ye to pahle se hi Gol hai sala aur kitna gol karega

Ek dulha ne shaadi ke time apni saas se poocha: 'aapke city me famous kya hai? enjoyement ke liye?' saas: ' bus usi se tumhari shaadi ho rahi hai ...!'

Boy chalo!! kisi viran jagah chalte hain..! girl tum aisi vaisi harkat to nahi karoge..?! boy bilkul nahi! girl to fir rehne do....!!

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife Kaisa lag raha hai ji. Husband Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hai......

Patni: Suno ji, Aapko Mujme Sabse Jayada kaya Acha Lagta hai, Meri Beauty ya Meri Akalmandi? Pati: Muje to yeh teri Majak karne ki Aadat Sabse achhi lagti hai

Ek shrabi roz SHIV mandir pe sir tekta tha.Ek din Pujari ne SHIV murti ki jagah GANESH murti rakhi.Shrabi aya,dekha bola Chotu,papa se bolna main aya tha..

SHADI KARNE KE LIYE SARDAAR NE SABSE CHOTI LADKI CHUNI... KARAN PATA KARNE GAYE TO PATA CHALA SARDAR JI NE KAHA KI MUSIBAT JITNI CHOTTI HO UTNA ACCHA.

SHRAAB EK BIMARI HAI, JO SAMAJ KO BARBAAD KAR RAHI HAI, AAO MILKAR IS BIMARI KO KHATAM KARE, EK BOTTLE TUM KHATAM KARO, EK BOTTLE HUM KHATAM KARE. CHEERS....

SARDAAR : YAAR MERI BIWI MERE DOST KE SAATH BHAAG GAYI. AADMI : BAHUT YAAD AATI HOGI USKI FIR. SARDAAR : HAA YAAR BAHUT ACCHA DOST THA MERA.

Ek aadmi cycle se jaa raha tha. Raaste me usne ekd ladki ko cycle maar di. Ladki : Ghanti nahi maari jaati kya Aadmi : Puri cycle maar di, ab kya ghanti alag se maaru.

Tum chandar mukhi main sooraj mukhi..Main tum say dukhi tum mujh say dukhi..Tum chut per jao aur chalang lagao...Phir main bhe sukhi aur tum bhe sukhi..!

God ne tujhe bheja to bheja, lekin behja to aisa bheja ki behje main bheja hi nahi bheja, Ye mujhe kise ne bheja, isliye maine tujhe bheja!

gum vo cheez hai,gum vo cheez hai,gum vo cheez hai ,jo kagaz chepkane ke kam aate hai.

Message na karke dil tod diya mera,Ab mobile dafna dena,Kafan na mile to apna rumal udha dena,Koi pooche ki rog kya tha To nazare jhuka ke apni Kanjoosi bata dena.... 

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