Sunday, 20 July 2014

Jokes and Jokes ...................Kitchen Me Naukar, Naukrani Ko Kiss Kar Raha Hai.

Why did HARBHAJAN slap Srisanth..?Aftr d match he asked Bhajji "Oye Paji, LOG CHLOROMINT KYU KHATE HAIN?"
Bhajji slapped & said "DUBARA MAT POOCHHNA"""""

Jyotishi ladke Ka Haath Dekhkar bola: "Beta Tum Bahut Padhoge"
Ladka: "Saale,Padh To Main 3 saal Se Raha Hu, Yeh Bata Paas Kab Hounga...??"

A New Teacher Joins schoolHe Finds Two Boys Similar In Appearance.Teacher asks - "kya TUM Judva ho.??
Boy-: jee nahi..Hum Padosi hain.

Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar li, use khudkhushi karni padi, farak batao student : pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusra shadi-suda tha

MunnaBhai: Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai. Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.

Boy:Tum gaana bahut achcha gaate ho.Gal:Nahi, mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon.Boy:To bulaao na kabhi, mehfil jamaate hain

teacher-osama ki 5 biwi & 20 bachche.lalu ki 1 biwi aur 9 bachche,to batao kaun achcha? 
studnt-score to osama ka zyada hai par strike rate lalu ka achcha hai

Ek bacha paida hote hi nurse se bola-mobile hai kya?Nurse:-hai pr tu kya karega Bacha:kuch nhi bs God ko miss cal krni hai ki me pahunch gya.

Sindhi Cals News Paper off. 2ask Rate 2 Print 4 Mortuary Clerk:Rs50 Per Word S:"Dada Dead" C:No,Min 5 Words S:OK,Dada dead,Honda 4 Sale!

Pati Patni me ladai ho gai,Pati ghar se chala gya Raat ko phone karke pucha:"Khane me kya he Patni:zaher pati:me der se aunga,tum khakar so JANA

Teacher student se:Tere pitaji ki karde ne 
Student:Ji woh PWD chalaunde ne!
Teacher:Tera matlab Public Works Department?
Student:Na ji na,PWD matlab Pakodeyaan waali dukaan

1 Admi Apni biwi se bola-Raja dashrath ki 3 raniya thi.Is hisab se main 2 shadian or kr sakta hu.Biwi-Bas itna yad rakhna k Dropdi k 5 pati bhi they.

Wife to husband: see breaking news.. 80 yr old man ne shaadi kar li.Husband: sari umar samazdari se bitayi, akhri me bewakufi kar hi di

REPORTELalu Ji. The poor women in bihar dont have clothes to wear.
LALU: U FOOL, Tum FTV dekhte ho? rich women bhi cloth nahi pehenti hai.Ye fashionwa hai.

Bhikari: Sahab ek rupya de do. Sahab: Tumhe sharam nahi road par khade hokar bheek mangte ho Bhikari: Abe tere ek rupye k liye office kholu kya.

WIFE:SUNA HAY KAY JANNAT MEIN HUSBAND KAY SATH WIFE KO NAHEEN REHNAY DETE HUSBAND:THEEK SUNA HAI.WIFE:AISA KYOUN?HUSBAND:ARAY PAGLI ISI LIAY TU USAY JANNAT KEHTE HEIN.

Patni- Jante ho maine 20 somwar ke upwas kiye tab jakar tumhein paya hai. Pati- Ye sab nahi karti to kya hota. Patni- Tumse bhi koi gaya guzara milta

Ramu on cycle hit Lady accidentally..Lady: "Break Nahi Mar sakte Kya?"Ramu: "Poori Cycle he Marde ab Break kya alag se maru?"

Narad muni dharti par BEER pene aye,12 botal pilane k bad, waiter:Apko chadti kyu nahi? Narad:Main BHAGWAN hoon.waiter:Chad gayi SALE ko…

WIFE : kyu ji! Jab bhi me aapke pass aati hu to aap Chasma pahen lete ho? HUSBANd : Doctor ne kaha hai jab SHIR-DARD aaye to Chasma pahen lena…

PATNI PATI SE:-Aji Agar Me Gum Ho Gai To Tum Kya Karoge...?Pati:-Its A Time To Disco,Kon Dhundega Tujko, Kabhi Na Mile Tu Mujko,Its the time to disco..

BHIKHARI:MAAI,EK RUPIYA DE DE!! 3 DIN SE BHUKHA HU!MAI EK RUPIYE KA TU KYA KAREGA?BHIKHARI:WEIGHT KARVAUNGA, DEKHNA HAI KITNA KAM HUA hai

Shivji-Bhakt main tumhari tapasya se khush hu,bol kya chahiye?Man-D.J System dedo prabhu.S-Abe gadhe!D.J.hota to mai damru kyu bajata?

One person asks to another:bhai ye khushi kya hoti hai?Second person replies:pata nahi bhai meri toh BACHPAN mein hi shaadi ho gayi thi.

Wife: ye ladkiyo ko dekhna bandh karo tumhari sadi ho gayi he.Husband: matlab ye ki me diating pe rahu to menu card dekhna bhi chhod du

bacha: Mom kya aapne mujhe paida hone se pehle dekha tha?Mummy: Nahi tobacha: To fir paida hone k baad aapne mujhe pehchana kaise??

Boy friend: Tumhare Ghar Gaya Tha, Mujhe Nahi Lagta Hamari Shadi Ho Payegi.Girlfrnd: Qu Mere PAPA Se Mile Kya?BF: NAHI TUMHARI BEHEN SE.

Beta:Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?Papa:Haan..Beta:Kis se hui??Papa:Bewkuf teri mummy se..!Beta:Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li..!

Mummy:jo mera sabse jyada kehna manega,usse hi me ye saari toffies dungiSonu:tab to ye saari toffee papa ko hi milengi.

Aaj Maine 1 Jaan Bachai.Pucho kaise? Bhikhari Ko Pucha.. 1000 Ka Note Du To Kya Karega? bola- Khushi Se Mar Jaunga. Maine NHI DIYA

Dad ne robot kharida jo jhuth sunke thapad marta thaDAD: Y r u so late?SON: Xtra class.Rbt slapd d son SON: Went fr a movie.DAD: Konsi?SON: Bal Ganesha Robt ne fir maraSON: Kaatil JawaniDAD: I've nvr seen such films. Rbt slapd d father Mom: Jhuth hee bolega, aakhir aapka hi beta hai. Robot slapd the mother.

Circut:Bhai ye doctor log operation se pahele mariz ko behosh kyon karte hai?Munna:Bole to patient operation krna sikh na jaye ishiliye

Wife saw sign board Banarasi sari 10/- Nylon sari 8/- Cotton sari 5/- Wife:give me 500 Rs I'll buy manyHsbnd=Andhi,ye istri ki dukan hai

Boy asks: Tute hue dil se pyar karogi, ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi. Girl replies: Tute hue sandal se pitoge ya sandal ke tutne tk pitoge

Circuit:Bhai Amrican Rashtrapati kidherko rehta hai?Muna:DHOBIGHAT peCirt:Dhobighat boletoh?Muna:Englsh mein usko WASHING TOWN bolneka

Sharabi ne Doc se pucha-Aap meri sharab chudva sakte ho? Doc-Ha kyu nahi. Sharabi-Toh mum Police ne meri 200 bottle pakdi hai. Pl chudva do

Wife:kal raat tum nind me mujhe galiya de rahe the.Hub:Tumhe galat fehmi hui hai.Wife:kaisi galat fehmi?Hub:Yehi ki main soya hua tha

Teacher:Prove tht things compress wid cold & expand wid heat.Student:Sir, garmiyo ki chuttiya 45 hoti hai aur sardiyo me sikud ke 7 reh jati

Shaadi par wife boli: Aap mere PRANNATH aur mein apke CHARNO KI DASI.Shaadi ke baad wo ho gaya CHARANDAS aur wo hogayi PRANO KI PYASSI

Husband : Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Faayada Hua.Wife : Kaun Sa Faayada?Husband : Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gai

1 ladki darzi ki dukan pe jati he or puchti he- Ji yaha gale milte he? DARZI:Waise gale milte to nhi lekin aap kehti he to Mil lete he

Boy: Darling Humare Pyaar k bare me kisi ko mat batana, Girl: Priya ko to zaroor bataungi,kehti thi kon pagal hoga jo tujhse Pyaar krega!

Passengr 2 Bus-Conducto Kitne Ghante Bus Me Rahete Ho?Conductr- 24 Ghante!P- Wo Kaise?Cond- "8 Ghante BUS Me Baki 16 Ghante BIWI KE BAS ME"

BeggaSir,Family se dur ho gaya hu.Milne ke liye 140 Rs ki zarurat Hai. SETH: Kahan hai tera fmily? Begr-Samne PVR me film dekh raha hai.

Ladki apne BF se:Mera Bachha Mera Ladla Mera Sonu-monu Mujhse Shaadi karoge? Bolo Baby BF: Tum mujhe Propose kar rahi ho ya Adopt.

SARDAR &SARDARNI were FIGHTING. SARDAR says:tu SAALI KUTTI! SARDARNI replies:tu SAALA KUTTA! the KIDS was near them said "HUM SALE PUPPY!

Pathan:Kya Ye Mahina 31 Ka Nhi ha ? Dost:Haan 31 Ka hA Pathan: Phr Ye Log Kyu Shor Macha Rhe Hain LONG MARCH LONG MARCH…

Ganja-Going On Road,Bird Shits On Head "Hey Bhagwan Ye Kya Hua? Bhagwan-Bacha Tu itni Dhupme Ja Raha He,Maito Sirf Sunscreen Lotion Dala he.

1 larki ne aadhi raat ko larke ko fon kiya: Ghar ajao ghar per koi nhi hai! Larka chla gya. Ghar pe waqai koi nhi tha Taala lga tha..

Nurse:Mubarak ho! Aap k Ghar Beta paida hua hai ASHU:Wah! Kya Technology Hai! Biwi Meri Hospital me hai or Bacha mere ghar paida hua hai

Police-chor se-" wada karo aagey se kabhi jeb nahi katoge !"Chor-"mai wada karta hun ab aagey se nahi balki pichhe se jeb katungA.."

1dost:Agr Me Subah Apni Car Me Niklu To Sham Tak Me Apni Aadhi Zamee B Nahin Dekh Sakta!!2ra dost:Hamare Pas B Pahle Aisi Hi Car Thi!!

Girl: Jaan Mujhe Aise PURPOSE Karo Jaise Aaj Tk Kisi Ne Na Kiya Ho.. Boy: Kamini, I LOVE U,Mujhse Shadi Karke Mujhe Tabah Kar De Kambakht.!

Train me 1 macchar chinese par baitha.Wo pakad k kha gaya.Fir 1 macchar marwadi pe baitha.Usne pakad k chinese se pucha : kharidoge kya ?

Husband - Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai.Wife - Woh Kya.?Husband - Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gayi.!

Shrma: Yar Mujhe Subah-2 Sans Lene me problem atti H. Varma: Problem to ayegi hi Subah-2 Baba Ramdev K chele saari oxygen jo khinch lete Hai

Munna: Ye sala College ka fullform kya hota hai?Circuit: Apun ko malum hai na bhai,C-ComeO-OnL-LetsL-LoveE-EveryG-GirlE- Everyday.

Q: "Naari" ka matlab kya hai ?Ans: "Naari" ka matlab hai Shakti.Q: To phir "Purush" ka matlab kya hai ?Ans: very simple ..... "Sehan Shakti"

Dr.-Kal dawai PEELI thi?Patient-Nahi, wo to LAAL thiDr.(shouted)-Mera matlab KHA LEE thi?Patient-Nahi Doctor Sahab, wo to BHARI thi !

Sir:bacho kasam lo ki kabhi Sharab,cigrete,jua or ladki ko nahi chuoge.Desh k liye jaan doge? Bacche:de denge sir,aisi Jindagi jikar Kya Karenge.

Sir-Tum Kal school Q nahi aaye?Raj-sir mujhe bird flu ho gya tha.Sir-bird flu to murgiyo ko hota h?Raj-sir aap rozana murga jo banate The..

Ek Dehati aurat chequecash karwane bank gyi Clerk:Sign karo Aurat:Kaise?Clerk:Jaise khat kaakhir me karti ho She wrote:AAP K MUNNEKI MAA

Raabadi ask Lalu:Suniyeji 'Dahi Jamane' ko english me kya bolun? Lalu:Milk was sleepin in the Nightwa,early in the morning it bcom tightwa.!

Doctor:Agar kisi LADKI ko mirgi ka attack ho to use lambikiss karo,Wo thiq ho jayegi..Student:"Par use attack kaise dilaye jaye?"

Boy-suit bahut accha pehna hai.Grl-thnxB-Lipstick b acchi lagai hai.G-thnxB-mak up bhi bahut accha kia hai.G-thnx"BHAIYA" B-fir bhi sunder nahi lag rhi ho!

Son:Papa kya aap kabhi Egypt gaye ho??Papa:Nahi,Par kyu?Son:Toh fir aap itni Khofnaak mummy kaha se laye..

Judge- Aap bahut bahadur hai, aapne us chor ko itna maara. Woman- Mujhe kya pata wo chor hai,mujhe laga mera pati thoda late ghar aaya he!!

Premika-Tum to bass apne kaam mai lage rehte ho. meri to koi parwah hi nahi hai tumhe! premi-Oyee pyar karne wale kisi ki parwah nahi karte

Tax Officr was laughing while auditing d return file of mallika sherawat, Another officr askd what hapnd?OfficeLaundry ka bil '7lack' bataya hai. :)--

Janwaro ki Party me Chuha 4 peg Laga K Set tha Billi-Aaj Party Na Hoti to Me Tujhe Kha Jaati.Chuha-Abe chali ja, Nhi to log kahenge ki pi k jaanani ko peet di

BETA-Papa,Sab Log Shaadi karke pareshan hai,to Fir Shaadi kyo karte hai?FATHER-Beta,Akkal Badaam khane se Nahi, Thokar khane se Hi Aati ha

Ladki apne Boyfrnd se :Mera BachaMera ShonaMujhse Shaadi karoge.?Bolo Baby.?Bfrnd :Tu Mujhe Propose kar rahi he ya adopt.

Bhakt: Bhagwanji aap kab kush hote ho, Bhagawan:jab hindi film me vilan ladki ko pakadata hai tab ladki bolti hai please mujhe bhagawan ke liye chod do.

A BOY on Drive Date in BMW.. Maine tumse ek baat chupayi hai I'm already married Girl:Tumne to dara diya, Main Samjhi BMW tumhari Nahi he

Man: me movie dekh rha tha usme chudel kabhi aage to kabhi pichhe chal rhi thi.. wife: konsi film Man: hamari shadi ki..

BANIA apne bacho se: Jo raat ko khana nahi khayega,use 5rs dunga Bache 5-5 rs le kar so gaye. Subah bola Jo 5rs dega use khana milega!!

Passenger-Tumne mere jeb me hath kyu dala Somu-Muje Machis chahiye thi Pasen-Tum mujhse mang sakte the Somu-Me ajnabi s bat nhi karta..

Snta 2 a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska hath lagte hi me theek ho gaya. Dc: Janta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe b sunai di thi ..

Hmari new Generation Miss ne kG 1 class k bache se kha 1 se 10 tak gino me tume kiss krongi.Bcha bola:agr me 1 se 100 tk ginu to kya package hai?

2 admiyo ki Biwiyan Gum ho gayi,1 bola:teri Biwikesi hai?2:Blue eyes,Rosy lips & charming,Aur teri?1:Meri chhod teri dhundhte ha

TeacheAgar Sache Dil Se Dua Ki Jaye, To Zaroor Poori Hoti He.. Ramu- Rehne Do Teacher.. Agar Aisa Hota To Aap Aaj Zinda Na Hoti!

Munna bhai:Arey Circuit mujhe Ek Nurse se Pyar ho gaya hai,Letter me kya Likhu?C-Simple bhai,Likhna"DEAR SISTER.I LOVE U,Tumhara MUNNA BHAI..

Q. Who Is Girlfrnd ?Ans. Girlfrnd wo hoti hai,jo tok tok kar apki sari aadat badal de.Aur ek din kahe."Tum Pehle Jaise Nahi Rahe"

Class me bache khidki ke bahar monkey dekh rahe the. Tabhi teacher ne kaha->"Bachcho bahar bandar kyu dekh rahe ho jab me class me hu!

BeggaOh Sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de Santa to his wife: De de, de de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai.

Heights of laziness: Boy-Papa 1glass pani dedo. Papa-Khudlelo. Beta-Plz dedo. Papa-Ab manga to thappad dunga. Beta-Jab thapad dene aaoge to pani lete aana.

papu:papa aapki luv marrige hui thi na baap:tumko kaise pata papu:wo aap ki shadi or meri date of birth me sirf 4 months ka farq hai…

Son:Me School nahi jaunga.Mom:kyu?Son:Naukri krunga.Mom:4th Class padhkar kya Kaam karoge?Son:3rd Stndrd k Ladkiyo ka tution lunga.

Papu- Papa!Humare Rastrapati Kon haiPapa-Gadha,Murakh gober itna nahi janta ja anderse G.K Ki Book le ke aa..fir batata hun

gupta in Jail-Bachpan me ma ki bat suni hoti to aj ye din na dekna padta Mehta-Kya kehti thi maa? gup-Jb bat hi nai suni to kaise batau

1Ladka Apne Papa di marrige video dekhde hoye-Papa MeNe B Apni Shadi Pe item gals Nachani Hai.PAPA:Kute De Putra O Teri Mausiya Ha! !

Gabbar-O Murgi Tuje 2 Ande Dene Ko Kaha Tha 1 Q Diya?Tujhe Mujse Dar Nahi Lagta.?Murgi-Dar Ki Wajh Se 1 Anda Diya haiWarna Me to Murga Hun..

Teacher To Student: Tmhai'n Apne Papa Se Kitne Paise Milte Hyn ... ? Student : Mjhe Kia Milenge, wo Tou Khud Mummy Se Le Ker Jate Hyn

SON- Papa, Sab log Shaadi karke pareshan hai, to Shadi kyo karte hain? FATHER- Beta, Akl Badaam khane se nahi, Thokar khane se aati hai.

SHADDI k PEHLE ladka:-"Darling !! tum nhi to mai nhi.Aur mai nhi to tum nhi.SHADDI k BAAD ladka:-"Bhootni! ajj ya to tu nahi ya me nahi.

Wife-"Main Maike ja Rahi hu,tumhe Tallak ki Notice Bhej Dungi!"
Husband-"Jaja,Mithi-Mithi Bate Karke mujhe Khush karne Ki Koshish mat kar..

1aurat jyotish k pas jakar hath dikhati heJytsh:Aap 3mahine me vidhva ho jayogi Aurat:Ye mujhe bi pata he ye batao pakdi jaaungi ya nahi

Air hostes pathan se,Sir,ap kya lena pasand karenge
Pathn:Humare liye taveez wala chai lao,
AHostes:Abey akhrot, woh taveez nahi tea bag he

Kid On 1st April: Kitchen Me Naukar, Naukrani Ko Kiss Kar Raha Hai. Mummy: Abhi Dimag Theek Karti Hu uska. Kid:April Fool wo toh PAPA hai.

Buddha Principal se:Zara BANTI ko bulado Principal:Aap kaon?Buddha:Uska dada Principal:Wo chhutti leker aapki MAYYAT me gaya hai.

Ek SHARABI SADHU se TAKRA Gaya.. SADHU Gusse Me:-Ae Murkh, Main Tujhe SHRAAP Deta Hu. SHARABI:-Rukiye Maharaj! Main GILAAS Lekar Aata hu..

Girl 2 Pandit-Can i Kiss aMAN ?Pandit-RAM RAM KARO!Girl-CAN I KISS A BOY?Pandit-HARE KRISHNA KARO!Girl-CAN I KISS U?Pandit-SRI GANESHKARO!

Pappu Ladki Dekhne Gaya,Family Walo Ne Akele Bithaya..Pappu: Behanji,Aap Kitne Bhai-Behan Ho?Ladki: Pehle 3 The Ab 4 HO GAYE..

Patni: Agar Me Kho Gai To Tum Kya Karoge, Pati:Me Akhbar Me Istehar Dunga, Patni:Tum Kitne Achhe Ho,Kya Likhwaoge Pati:Jaha b Raho Khus Rho

Jinn-Hukm aka Man-Gharse dubai tak road banaJinn-Mushkil h,or koi kam Man-Wife ko agyakari or samajdar banaoJinn-Road single banani hai ya double.

A Policeman asks his Son: Ithne Kam marks kyun laaye hoAaj se tera khelna, tv dekhna, bahar jaana sab bandhSon: Yelo 50 rupai......baath ko yahin katham karo

Husband:Darling!kahi saal pehle tumara figure bilkul 'Coke' ki bottel ki tara tha.Wife:Woh tho ab bhi hai ! bas pehle bottel 300ml ki thi ab 1.5ltr ki hai…

Operation ke baad patient bola: "Doctor saahab, Kyaa ab main aap logo se mukt hun..?" Uttar mila: "Beta,Doctor to neeche reh gaye, Main to Chitragupt hun..!!

Girl:Tum Hafte Main Kitni Bar Shave Karte Ho?Boy:Hafte Main Nahi, Din Main 30 Se 40 BaarGirl:Kya Tum Pagal Ho?Boy:Nhi,Main Naii Hoon

1 Aadmi Ne Kaha Aisi Zindgi Se To Mout Achhi He Achanak Yamdoot Bola Tumhari Jan Lene Ka Hukam He Aadmi: Lo Batao Ab Insan Majak B Na Kare.

Man: Sir, my wife is missing. Postmaster:Bhai ye post office hai, Police station me complaint dijiyee.Man: Kya karun, khushi ke maare kuch samajh Nahi aa rha

Hathi ne chuhiya ko chheda Chuhiya hathi ki biwi k pas gai or boli samjha le apne mard ko,abhi to baaT aurto me he he, mard hamare ghar bi he

Pappu ne Jungle me ped pr Sanp(snak) ko latkte huve dkha Pappu-Sirf latak ne se height nai badegi Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye

Premi-ab Hamare Bich Kuch nahi Raha Tum Mere sare love letter Mujhe Louta 2 Premika Ye letters ka tokra rakha he isme apke ho Nikal lo.

Man knocks at door. 10yr old boy cums wid cigret in 1 hand & beer in other. Man-Papa ghar pe hai? Boy-Saale mujhe dekh k lag raha hai ki papa ghar pe honGE.

Judge: tum apne pati ko divorce kyu dena chahti ho?Lady: kyunki wo har aadhi raat ko uthkar bolta hai, "ab mujhe ghar jana chahiye...!!

Lagta hai meri aankh me kuch gir gaya hai, dekho to..Premi: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai,kyu na use wahi rahne diya jaye mai dubunga to sahara dega.!!

Chuha: 2 din ke liye teri chaddi dena, Hathi: Ha, Ha, Ha, Pahenega kya..??? Chuha: Nahi meri beti ki shaadi me mandap lagvana hE.

Laluji 1 month Bush Se english ki training le k wapis india aye 1 din phone aya Lalu:who is speaking? Jawab aaya:Hum Sasura Bushva hu

Cop 2 Sharabi:Whr r u goin? Shrabi:Daru pine se nuksan pe Parvachan Sunne Cop:Itni Raat ko kaun prvachn deta hai? Sharabi:Patni Aur Saas

Jo hamesha hasta raheta hai usko..HUSMUKH kahte hai, Aur jiska hasna hi bilkul bandh ho gaya hai usse kya kehte hai?HUSBAND

1 ladki darzi ki dukan pe jati he or puchti he- Ji yaha gale milte he? DARZI:Waise gale milte to nhi lekin aap kehti he to Mil lete he.

Sir, kal raat Qaidiyo ne jail me Ramayan ki thi! Jailor : Isme itne hairan kyo ho? Sir,Hanuman bna Qaidi abhi tak sanjivni leker lauta nahi!

Patient:Dr. Saab, N khau to bhuk lagti he, N sou to Nind ati he,Zyada kaam kr k thak jata huDR.-beta sari Raat Dhoop me baitho.Theek ho jaoge.

Teachewhat is meant by "I MISS YOU" . . . . ~> Pathan: Is ka matlab hai "Mein tumhari miss hon!"

Bhakt: pandit ji. Aisi patni ko kya kahenge jo beautiful ho,intelligent ho, undrstndng ho,kabhi jealusy na kre aur 1 badiya cook ho. PanditJI- AFWAAH.

MUNNA BHAI :Mamu, tu kitna padha hai?MAMU :B.A.MUNNA BHAI :Sala, two lafz padha aur woh bhi ulta?

1 baccha door bell bajane ki koshish kar raha tha,1 old man ne dekha.Wo gaya aur bell baja di,Aur bola:Aur kuch beta??????Baccha: AB BHAAGO.

In a interview: What is uvr qualification? SardaIam PHD. Intervievewhat do u mean? SardaPassed Highschool difficulty.

Girl-Dear hum kahan jaa rahe hai.Boy-Long Drive pe dear.Girl-Pehle kyon nhi bataya.Boy-Mujhe bhi abhi pata chala jab break fail hua.

1 Andha Police Me Bharti Hone Ke Liye Gaya.Officer Ne Pucha"Tumhein Hum Kis Liye Rakhein?"Andhe Ne kaha "Andha-Dhund Fireing ke liye

Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?Coz Dev Anand says:O mere humrahi,meri baanh thame chalna,badle duniya SARI,tum na badalna..!!

Papu hotel me hath dhone jata hai or Basin dhone lag jata hai. Waiter-Sir ye kya kar rahe hai? Papu-Are yaha likha hai Na WASH BASIN..

Pati : What's hypnotism ?Patni : Kissi ko,apne vash me kar ke,uss se mann chaha kam karwana..,Pati : Arey nahi,usse toh shaadi kehte he.:

Dost: "Tumhari toh RAM -SITA ki jodi lagti hai_ Man:"Bilkul Galat hai: Naa to koi meri biwi ko utha ke le jaata hai, Naa hi ye dharti me samaati hai!

PREMI:Abewafa tune mera DIL jalakar rakh kar diya. PRMIKA:Teri kurbani bekar nahin jaye gi bhej de rakh bartan majne ke kam ayegi

Munna bhai: Circuit ye valentine day kaun sa din hai? Circuit: Simple bhai aajkal valentine day ‘Kiss Day’ ko kahete hai.

1 admi doston ki mehfil se raat late ghar gaya dosto ne pucha k wife ne kuch kaha to nahi admi bola nahi kuch khas nahi bus ye 2 dant to mai wesay bhi niklwane wala tha

CIRCUIT :Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai? SHORT CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha. MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya? MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.

CIRCUIT: Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai. MUNNA BHAI: Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai. CIRCUIT: Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko. MUNNA BHAI: Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega. CIRCUIT: Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

Munna bhai: Abe circuite bata, agar bina dato ka kutta kate to kya karne ka? Circuit: simple he na bhai, bole to bina sui k 14 injection lagane ka.

marwadi on his death bed-My wife, r u here?yes i'm hereMy son?yes father. My daughter,r u here?yes i m dadTo phir saalo dukan par kaun hain???

Santa Ne Bantase pucha:Tum postpaid ke bajay prepaid ko kyun use karte ho? Banta:Ppme bahut fayda hai, Isme cal honeke bad bil badhne ke bajay cum ho jata hai.

Husband & wifehotel gae tabhi 1Lady ne Helo kiya,Wife-kaun thi wo?Hus-tum dimag kharab mt kro mai pehle hi pareshan hu k usko kya btaunga k tum kaun ho..

Marwadi sms:Jab BAGA me BAHAR awegi, tab mhare SMS ki BARSAT awegi, tanhaiya to thari dur ho jawegi par mharo BILL bhrawa kai thari sasu awegi.?

Hansa:Automatically ka matlab kya hota hai?Praful:Jab auto me koi ladki baithti hai aur uske sir pe ek bhi baal na ho to usko kehte hain,Auto-main-Takli!

Wife:Chalo na kahin chalte hai,ghumne car me.aur car me drive karungi. Husband:Yadi tum car drive karogi to jayenge car me,ayenge akhbaar me

TEACHER:- Kabir ka koi doha sunaoo.?LITTLE MARWADI:-"Kabir saloo bewkoof, Doha diyo banaye, Khud to saloo Khisak gayoo, Mhane diyo fassaye."

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