Tuesday, 22 July 2014

FUNNY SMS............There are 3 types of sexually transmitted diseases..

         :::::::::::::::::::::::FUNNY SMS::::::::::::::::::::


an IDEA can change ur life..... but DOCKOMO can change ur wife

“Me sick, no work” Boss SMS back: “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it” 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss: “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Sir:Bijli Kaha Se Aati Hai?Banta: Mama K Ghar Se.Sir:Wo Kaise?Bnta: KyuKi Jab B Bijli Jati Hai Papa Kahte Hai Saalo Ne fir kaat di!

A touching luv story A boy & a girl loved each other 1 day while talking,boy touched girl"s hand & girl in return touched boy"s hand wat a touching story! haa...haaa... :-D""

Q : what is the full form of maths ?Think A : mentally affected teacher harrasing students.

Student scared of a thrashing bcz of poor marks did not go home and joind royal challengers bangalore! Why??Bcz they dont beat anyone.

Wat is difference between poison n Alcohol?If u drin alcohol,u wil dance arnd people..If u drink poison,ppl will dance arnd u!

God:I cant be everywhere so i created Mother!!Evil:I too cant b everywhere so i created Mother-in-Law

Only True frenz stand by u during bad times...I promise i will attend ur wedding.

DARU se NASHA badhta he, NASHE se junun, JUNUN se mehnat, MEHNAT se paisa, PAISE se izat. isliye IZAT paneke liye, DARU pina Bahut jaruri he.

Apna hath apne sir par phero. Ek bar fir phero,dubara phero, chalo ek bar fir akhri bar phero. Ab to tumhe yakin ho gya hoga k GADHE k sir par seeng nahi hote

wat is d diffrnce betwn completed n finished??if u find gud spouse u r completed otherwise u r finishd !!!

Guide: Welcome 2 Niagra falls. Sound intensity is so high dat even 20 supersonic jets cant b heard. Now may i requst d ladies 2 b silent so we can hear d falls

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'... said, 'Dust!'

American:Oh God give me room full of Gold.Russian:oh God!give me room full of Diamonds.India:Oh God!give me keys of both d rooms.

Man at medical shop: I need poison.Chemist: I can't sell u that.Man shows wife's photo.Chemist: Oh! Sorry, I didn't know u had a prescription.

In the corridor of a govt office was a signboard that read,"Do not make a noise"Someone added the following"Otherwise we may wake up"...

Why does d bride & groom xchange garlands at d time of wedding..... B'coz they say each affectionately that : "DARLING NOW U R DEAD"...........

What a man want?Ek ladki jo Pyaar dey Ek ladiki jo Accha khana banayeEk ladki jo usse Dil se chaheAur??Teeno ladkiyan 1 dusre se na mile

Lalu k pichhe ek chhota sa kutta pad gaya..!!Lalu bola..!! Sala hum to BSNL ka card dalaya hu..Ye sala HUTCH ka Network kaise pakad lia.

when words fail,silence works.when silence fails,eyes works.when eyes fail,heart works.when heart fails...samajh le TAPAK GAYA

Fathr to son aftr xam:Let me c ur report card...Son:My frend just took it to scare his parents!!!

Friends are like asian paints 'duniya badal de'. Girlfriends are like everest masale 'taste mein best'. Wife is like mosquito coil 'dhoond dhoond ke maare!'

1commerce Walikya gaali degi?Saale bounced cheque,Dharti pe liablity, Pedaishi bad debts, Dishonured bill,Insolvent aadmi,Itna marungi ki balance Nahi bachega

Mere dost ki ek saheli thi,dosti hui to paheli thi,pyar hua to jaan hatheli pe thi,aur shadi hui to pata chalagrant road ki CHAMELI thi.

U Ned Heart Ye Dil Apka Hua U Ned Frnd Mujse Dosti Karoge U Ned Joy Dhom Machaly Dhom U Ned Hlp Main Hu Na U Ned Cash Hum Apke HAIN Kaun?

Apne Teacherz Ki Bohat Respect KijiyeKyon KKyon K Is Duniya Mai Murghi K Elawa Wo Wahid Personality HainJo Ap Ko Anda De Sakti hain

99 SAAL ka ek aadmi SWARG ki RONAK aur APSARA dekh kar boLaye RAMDEV BABA aur unke PRANAYAAM ke CHAKKAR me NA pada hota to yahan PAHLE hi AA GAYA HOTA.

Jo Jeete Wo SikandrJo Haare Wo Jail Ke AndarJo sMs Bheje Usko Jadu Ki JhappiJo Na Bheje Usko BANDAR Ki Pappi

Which buildings has the most stories?..........The Library..

Do you know which is the oldest animal in the world??Give up??Well its,Zebra - Coz its still Black and White n not in Color!

KOI DOSTI ME PITA HE,KOI DARD ME PITA HE,KOI GAM ME PITA HE,HAM TO IS LIYE PITE HE KYU KI...MANGO FRUITY 5 KA 2 MILATA HE…

In 1975,3 birds wer flyin n suddenly they died.Y?....Coz neeche gabbar singh bolta hai..Aadmi 3 aur goli 6,bahot nainsafi hai dishkyu-dishkyu-dishkyu

A student asked 2 write a signboard 4 d traffic rules near college campushe wrote;"Drive carefully! Don't kill students, wait for teachers"

Biology teacher-There are 3 types of sexually transmitted diseases..And.."YOU'LL GET AT-LEAST ONE OF THEM IN EXAM!!"

Behind every successful student there isa girl friend... But,what about unsuccessful student ?Lots ofgirl friends...!

Sir to Student:"What is the Similarity Btween Girl frnd & Mobile??" Student:- Sir Both are Diconnected WhenThere is "No Balance"

How do you express two words,with exactly the opposite meanings,in a single sentence...?Any guesses?No?Say:"HAPPILY MARRIED"

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash

2 ways to suicide.1) QUICK DEATH:Take a BIG rope,tie it around ur neck & hang urself.2) SLOW DEATH:Take a SMALL rope, tie it on a girl's neck to marry...!

Namaskar ! Jago baalak, Surya uday ho chuka hai, Pavitra snan purn karke, mata pita k charan chu k, sundar ladkiyo k darshan par nikal pado.

A small argument betwn a couple turns violent.Angry Husband: Do not let d animal in me cum out.Wife: Who is scared of a mouse

Humorous Fact:We Live in a Funny World bEcAuSe Pizza Reaches Home Faster than the Ambulance or Police..JAGO INDIA JAGO!!-

What is d height of Flirting?........When ur LUV letter starts withTO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN.

Why is Gandhiji smiling on all currency notes?Because if he cries..All notes will get 'wet'..

Kabhi kisi ladki se book nahi mangni chahiye..? Nahi to chanta bhi lag sakta hai..? kyoki fullform of book is :-B=BabyO=onlyO=oneK=kiss

A man in US kicks a dog to death which was abt to bite a lady.Paper reports:US citizen saves lady frm dog.Man says I'm not U.S citizen.So reprt changd,foreign hero saves lady frm dogMan says he is frm Pak Nxt days headlines:Terorist attacks local dog.

Behind every successful student, there is 1 girl friendButWhat about a failedstudent ?A Beautiful Teacher.

He said.Do u love me just because my father left me a fortune?She said.Not at all honey, I would love u no matter who left u the money.

Vajpayee was talking about family planning in a speech laloo got angry n said if u dont play the game,Dont make the rules!! -

Aaj kal ki Ladkiyo ke kapde...Yaha se Less,Waha se Less,Kabhi SleevLesstoKabhi BackLessaurKoi Ladka Ghur ke Dekhe to Bolti hai.."Oh, How Mannerless.

Q :- How do you tell a rose to go to the moon? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A :- Gulab Jamoon.

Wads d diff btwen Gandhi,Musharraf & Lalu?Gandhi-Didnt knw wats lie,Musharraf-Dsnt knw wads d truthLalu-Dsnt know d diff btwn lie n truth

In India, parents say "Study well my son, Otherwise u wont get a job."In america-"Study wel my son,othrwise any "INDIAN" wil grab ur JOB"

You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!! Just a second, don't misunderstand. CUTE means: Creating Useless Troubles Everywhere..

SITA k vanvas jaane me bahut badi seekh hai,Ghar me agar 3-3 saas ho to JUNGLE hi theek hai!!!!

A kid went 2school 4the first time.Teacher told her ifu had 2 go 2 Toilet,raise ur index finger.Kid is puzzled n asks,Thats going 2 stop it?

Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?Coz Dev Anand says:O mere humrahi,meri baanh thame chalna,badle duniya SARI,tum na badalna..!!

What will be the girl's name born on 1st of APRIL? Guess Guess Guess Guess "FOOLAN DEVI..

Daru Se Nasha Badhta Hai Nashe Se JununJunun Se Mehnat Mehnat Se Paisa Paise Se Izzat Isliye Izzatdar Whi H Jo Daru Pita H..Chears..

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