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Thursday, 13 February 2014

Padosan jokes.........All new Padosan jokes........................Enjoy....

Wife: Kal aap ne Padosan ke saath moovi dekhi..?
Husband: Kya kare..
Aaj kal ki movie Biwi Bachon ya family ke
saath dekhne laayak kaha banti hai..?

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Boy Ne ek Girl Ko..

 
Propose Kia
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Girl Ne Mana Kar Diya....
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Boy : i'll wait ..
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30 Din tak Tere Ghar k Niche Khada Rahunga..
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30th Din k baad Girl Boli -I Love u ...
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Boy:
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Rehne De !! Ab Teri Padosan Set Ho Gayi Hai.....!

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"Kahte Hai Kisi Ko Kuch Kahne Se Pahle Apne Girhebaan Mein Jhank Lena Chahiye, Is Kahavat Ko Sach Karta Ek Joke."


    Ek Aurat Ne Rote Hue Apni Sath Wali Padosan Ko Dukhda Sunaya.

    Aurat: “Mujhe Bachcha Nahi Ho Raha”

    Padosan: “Tumhara Pati namard Hoga?”

    Aurat: “Mera Pati Kya, Mujhe To Tumhara Pati Bhi Namard Hi Lagta Hai“
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Do padosan naye doodh wale ki baat kar rahi thi..



Ist:” Kaafi smart aur handsome hai aur kapde bhi achha pehenta hai..

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2nd:” Aur pehan bhi jaldi leta hai…
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Biwi: Mere paas proof hai ki tumhaara chakkar padosan ke saath hai.



Pati (gusse mein): Kya proof hai?



Biwi: Uska pati kal raat tumhaari underwear pahankar aaya tha :) !!
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'Wife: Woh kaun si cheez hai jo tumari nazron k samne hote hue bhi pohanch se door hai..??

Husband ne lambi saans li aur bola..


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\'PADOSAN\'.
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 बालक ( मां से ) - मां अपनी पडोसन का नाम भी अजीब है |

मां - क्यों , कमला भी अजीब नाम होता है क्या ?

बालक - मगर पिताजी  उन्हें डार्लिंग कह कर बुला रहे थें | 
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 Padosan : E bhaan maachis de n chulaah m aag jalaani sai.
Manbhari : Bhaan maachis to kauni per tu nyu kar meri saasu n le jaa. Aag lagaan m expert sai mhaari bhudhi.
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Ek padosan Ne Sunita Se Kaha:- are sunita gajab Ho Gaya.dekh to Pados Ki do Auraten teri Saas ki pitaai kar Rahi Hain.
Sunita padosan Ke Sath chat per Aayi Aur chhupkar pitaai Dekhane Lagi. padosan Ne Pucha, Aap Madad Karane Nahi Jayengi ?
Sunita - Nahi nahin do Hi bahot Hain  
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Sex Ke Baad...Ladkion ke response:
1> Call girl: Paise.?

2> Girlfriend: Jaldi Kapde De..

3> Padosan: Fhir Kab Aayoge..

4> Wife: Ab 2-4 Din Kuch Mat Bolna..

5> Kamwali: Ab Toh Pagar Bada Dijiye..! 
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Padosan: behn merey sarr mein bahut dard hai konsi dawa loon
Aurat: merey to sar mein dard hota hai to munney ke papa thapkion sey door kar deitey hain
Padosan: To munney ke papa kabb ayengey
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 1 Lady Ki Aankh (eye) Kali Ho gayi Thi
Padosan- Kya Hua?
Lady- Pati Ne Mara
Padosan- Tere Pati To Kaam Se Bahar Gaye Hue The
Lady- Mera Bhi Yahi Khayal tha 
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Pehli padosan:- Kya baat hai bahan, kal raat tum 3 ghante tak apne pati se jhagadti rahi. Jabki roz 20-25 minute hi ladti ho.

Doosri padosan:-Kya bataoon bahan,aaj se ye 5 din ke tour per jaa rahe hain.
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पड़ोसन जीतो: खिड़की में पर्दा लगवा दो! नया पड़ोसी मुझे देखने की कोशिश करता है! 
संता: एक बार ठीक से देख लेने दे, वो खुद पर्दा लगवा लेगा! 
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Padosan Ko Bulaya Seeti Baja Kar,

Boli Log Dekhte Hain Sharm Haya Kar,
Doosre Din Pyar Se Salaam Kiya,
Teri Seeti Kahan Gayi Wo Boli Muskura Kar,
Maine Kaha Seeti Bajaane Se Darta Hoon,
Seeti Bajate Tera Kutta Aa Jata Hai Dum Daba Kar.
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PINKY: Ye Tumhe Kya Sujh Gaya Ki..
Tumne Kutta Paal Liya?
PADOSAN:Taaki Logo Ko Pata Na Chal Sake Ki..
Kaun Bhauk Raha Hai.  
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Santa ne underwear dhokar padosan ki salwar ke pass sukha diya or awaz di Bhabi ji jab tum salwar utarogi to mujhe awaz de dena m b apna underwear utar lunga
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 Nani (to a kid): Soja DIPLOMA soja! Padosan: diploma kyo bulati ho isse? Nani: Meri ladki College DIPLOMA lene gayi thi, ye leke aa gayi..!! 
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Govt announced: Jinke 5 bacche hain, unhe

1 ghar denge.
Santa ke 3 the aur apne Wife se bola: Padosan
ke 2 bhi mere hi hain....unko le aao par Apne
3 kahan gaye?
Wife: Jinke the wo le gaye.
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ANDHA PADOSI-: BAHU o BAHU ye lo

Laddu.

BAHU Naha rahi thi,

socha

PADOSI to

andha hai,

Bina kapde k bahar aakar boli :-

ye kis khushi me?

PADOSI :- MERI ANKHEN THIK HO

GAYI.
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Padosan to Santa's wife....Suna hai tune Mrs Khanna apne driver ke sath bhag gayi !!

Santa's wife....Oh !! To iska matlab ye ki ab Khanna ji ko apni car khud chalani padegi !!
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Ek sardarji ke bachcha nahin hota saat saal se... goes to a doctor and asks, "What's wrong with me." Doctor says lot of problem but there's a solution...go to a woman who's 7 months pregnant & suck milk from her breasts then you'll be okay.

Sardarji goes to her wife & tells her. She says, "Apni padosan ke bachcha hone wala hai usse try karo." Sardarji goes to her & tells her the story...she gets very angry & says, "Sardarji, main to apko bhai samajhti thi aur aap kya nikle..apko sharam aani chaahiye." Sardarji poora jor lagadete hain samjhane main. Kahata hai, "Meri zindagi kaa sawal hai main saari umar aapka ehsaan maanooga."

In the end she agrees but says come tomorrow when my husband goes out. Sardarji goes to her house & starts sucking her breasts. After some time the padosan who didn't have any sex for so long gets hot & says, "Sardarji aur kuch chahiye to woh bhi maang lo." He says, "No, no, everything is fine." After some time she again says, "Sardarji kuch aur chahiye to soch lo aur maang lo," but he nahin nahin sab theek hai... Now she's really hot & unable to bear anything so she says, "Sardarji aaj apko doodh peene ke saath jo kuch bhi chahiye woh maang lo. Jo ichcha ho woh bol do."

Sardarji says, "Bhen, 2 biscuit mil jaate doodh ke saath to badi meharbani hoti"






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