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Monday, 4 November 2013

Jokes...................Bechara Husband.........................111313

Manjit was lying on beach,
Amrican: R u Relaxing?
Manjit: No i m Manjit Singh,
Anothr Amrcn: R u relaxing?
Manjit: No
I m Manjit Singh
Anothr Amrcn: R u relaxing?
Manjit: No (Shouting)
I m Manjit Singh
Manjit left tht place in anger.
Then Manjit asks one American lying nearby
R u relaxing?
American: Yes.
Manjit Singh Dang slaps him & says, Haramkhor sab tujhe dhund rahe hain aur tu yahan leta hua hai
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Amitabh : mere paas rocket hai,
fuljhadi hai,
chakri hai,
anaar hai,
murga bomb hai,

tumhare paas kya hai ?

Shashi kapoor : mere paas…

mere paas,

maa-chis hai!
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A Poem by a Bengali School Teacher..

Through the jongole I am went

On shooting Tiger I am bent

Boshtaard Tiger has eaten wife

No doubt I will avenge poor darling's life

Too much quiet, snakes and leeches

But I not fear these sons of beeches

Hearing loud noise I am jumping with start

But noise is coming from damn fool's heart

Taking Care not to be fright

I am clutching rifle tight with eye to sight

Should Tiger come I will shoot and fall him down

Then like hero return to native town

Then through trees I am espying one cave

I am telling self – "Bannerjee be Brave"

I am now proceeding with too much care

From far I smell this Tiger's Liar

My leg shaking, sweat coming, I start pray

I think I will shoot Tiger some other day

Turning around I am going to flee

But Tiger giving bloody roar spotting Bengalee

He bouding from cave like footballer Pele

I run shouting "Kali Ma tumi kothay gele"

Through the jongole I am running

With Tiger on my tail closer looming

I am telling that never in life

I will take risk again for my damn fool wife!!!
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A marketing type managed to corner me at the mall and was asking a series of survey questions:

"Which shaving cream do you use?"

"Viki’s." The interviewer recorded the answer and proceeded with the next question.

"Which aftershave do you use?"

"Viki’s."

"Which deodorant do you use?"

"Viki’s."

"Which toothpaste do you use?"

"Viki’s."

"Which shampoo do you use?"

"Viki’s."

"Which soap do you use?"

"Viki’s."

"Thank you. I have one final question: tell me please, what is ‘Viki’s?’ Is it a foreign company?"

"No, Viki is my roommate."
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Sardar was served whiskey in a Flight.
The Flight attendant asks the Priest seated next to him, whether he would like a drink too?

Priest: "I would rather be raped by a dozen prostitutes than let liquor touch my lips".

Sardar returns the drink saying:"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice"...
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Bus Accident

Man Crying: Mera hath kat gaya. Bahut dard ho raha hai.

Santa: Abey chup baith. Wo dekh uska gala kat gaya,
Fir bhi chup-chaap pada hai..!!

Bolo ta ra ra ra
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Bechara Husband:
Man: What do you want to become in your next Life?
Friend: A Cockroach.
Man: Why?
Friend: Kyunki meri Wife sirf Cockroach se hi darrti hai.
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Ultimate Bezzati:
Ek baari Inspector, Thanedaar aur Master bethe the.
Thanedaar:- Mera bahut raub hai, jab Jee kare kissi ko bhi peet sakta hoon.
Inspector:- Main Zile ka Maalik hu, jo chaahu karr sakta hoon.
Master ki baari aayi.
Master:- Apna to g koi raub nai, sara Din Students ko Chaante maarta hoon, aage unnki Kismat, chaahe pagle Inspector banne, chahe Thanedaar.
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Ultimate Bezzati:
Wife shopping se aayi to Husband ne Darwazaa khola.
Wife: Ye Dabba pakad lo zara.
Husband: Issme zaroor mere khaane ki cheez hogi naa??.
Wife: Haa g, mere SANDAL hai!

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