Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Jokes...................Two girls found Rs 1000 on road...........98913

कुछ बनारसी धमकियाँ
आपको कौन सी जबरदस्त लगी बताये
1. बेटा जेतना तोहर उमर हौ, ओकर दुगना हमार कमर
हौ!
2. चवन्नी भर क हउवे आउर डॉलर भर भौकाल!
3. एतना गोली मारब की छर्रा बिनत-बिनत
करोडपति हो जइबे!
4. धाम चंडी काशी में, जीवन बीतल बदमाशी में!
5. हमके जान ले, हम मारीला कम और घसिटीला जादा!
6. बेटा... सज के आयल हउवे, बज के जइबे!
7. गुरु... सम्हर जा, नाही त हफ्तन गोली चली आउर
महिन्नन धुंआ उडी!
8. बेटा एतना मारब की उज्जर होइ जाबा!
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मनमोहन : नमस्ते , कैसे हैं आप ?
घायल व्यक्ति : नमस्ते सरदार जी , मैं ठीक हु आप सुनाओ
मनमोहन : मैं भी ठीक हु , कोई परेशानी हो तो मुझे बताये मैं समाधान करूँगा
घायल व्यक्ति : नहीं जी कोई परेशानी नहीं , वैसे आप हैं कौन ??
मनमोहन : मैं भारत का प्रधानमंत्री हु और आप ?
घायल व्यक्ति : मैं बिलगेट्स का दामाद हु , ये गाँव खरीदने आया था
मनमोहन : अजी मजाक मत कीजिये
घायल व्यक्ति : शुरू किसने किया बे
मनमोहन : hmmmm..........ठीक हैं
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Medical College Professor to a girl student:

"Which human body part expands 5 times its normal size?''

Girl Student: "Sir I can't answer this question, it's too embarrassing.''

Professor asked the same question to a male Student.

Male Student: "It's the Pupil of a human eye."

Professor: "Correct."

Then Professor turned to the female student and sighs :

''Not only your thinking is wrong, but your expectations are also rather high...''
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Million Dollar Question:
If U don't like ur Husband,
why don't u just leave him & go ??
Answer from wife: I don't like doing anything that will make him happy..!!
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Pharmacist to Customer :
"To buy anti- depression pills, Sir you need a proper prescription....
simply showing a picture of your wife is not enough"!
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Sir: Wo Teen Words Batao Jo Subse Jyada Bole
Jate Hain ??
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STUDENT: Mujhe Nahi Pata
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Sir: Shaabash Beta, Baith Jao..!
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An old country PUROHIT had a teenage son, and it was getting high time the boy gave some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
1. A RAMAYANA,
2. A silver coin,
3. A bottle of whiskey,
4. And a Playboy magazine.

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the Ramayana, he's going to be a purohit like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the coin, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord Shiva, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine, he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the objects on the table. He walked over to inspect them, looking at each for several minutes. Finally, he picked up the Ramayana and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver coin and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

"Lord Shiva have mercy!" the old purohit prayed. "He's going to be 'AASHARAM BAPU!'" hahaha.
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Two girls found Rs 1000 on road........... .....
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Girl 1 : what to do with this money now?
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Girl 2 : lets take 50-50
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. Girl 1 : okay but baki k 900 Rs ka kya krege???
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Salman Khan Jokes................. 

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