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Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Jokes.................Salman Khan Jokes.....................98713

45 saal ka SALMAN KHAN ladki dekhne gaya!
Ladki ki Maa behosh ho gayi!
Hosh aya
kaaran pucha
boli- 20 saal pehle ye muje bhi dekhne aaya tha

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Demotion of Salman Khan
2009- Wanted=IPS
2010- Dabang=Inspector
2011- BodyGuard


2012- SecurityGuard
2013- WatchMan
2014- Postman

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Breaking News-
Aishwarya ka Beta hua hai,

Shocking News-
Dr. Kehte hai bacha bilkul Salman pe gaya hai,

Interesting News-
Abishek ka kahna hai,
No idea Sir Ji ..!!

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 Similarity between GANDHI
SALMAN &
MALLIKA?
Teeno ne kapdo ka tyag kiya tha.
Ek ne DESH ke liye,
Dusre ne AISH ke liye,
Tisri ne CASH ke liye

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Salman's Dad: Aaj tak tune koi aisa kam kiya hai..
jis se mera sir uncha hua ho?

Salman: 1 bar aapke sar ke niche

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  ]""""""""""""[

TAKIYA lgaya tha Bhul gaye? 
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High class insult
Teacher- Tum aaj 50 min late aaye ho.
Ye koi time hai class me aane ka..

Salman- Sir, mai late nahi aaya hu.
Mai to agle lecture ke liye jaldi aaya hu.

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Kitne % bhartiya sochate hai ki
Salman ki shadi katrina se hogi

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Only 1%
Qk 99% khud katrina se shadi krna chahte hai!
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 Salman Khan arrives home to find 'Salman is an idiot' written right in front of his door.

He says to his friend: 'That's strange - this seems to be written in urine.... Do some tests and find out who did it.'

Later that day, his friend returns to Salman.

'Bad news, I'm afraid! The urine is that of Vivek Oberoi!'

'I would have expected that...', Salman says, 'Why is that bad?'

'Well, the handwriting is Aishwarya's!'

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SRK and Salman Khan reunited today.
The biggest problem of the country is solved
now.
The smaller
ones remaining are:
- Corruption
- Population
- Pollution
- Inflation
- Malnutrition
- Gender Bias
- Lack of Education
- Poverty
- Lack of Sanitation
- Poor infrastructure
- External threats
- Internal tussles
-reservation
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Hindi Teacher:" Prasang Sahit Nimnlikhit Pankti Ka Varnan Kijiye: "Munni Badnaam Hui, Darling Tere Liye.."
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Student:" Ye Pankti Bollywood Ke Prasidhh Nayak Shri Salman Khan Ke Chal Chitra ''Dabang'' Ke "Munni Badnaam" Namak Kavita Se Li Gayi Hai.
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Is Kavita Mein Kavi Mayavi Sundri Malaika Arora Ko Sambodhit Karte Hue Pyar Mein Badnaam Hone Ki Prerna Dete Hai.
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Kavi Ne Is Kavita Ke Madhyam Se Munni Ki Tulna Jhandu Balm Aur Atom Bomb Se Ki Hai.
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Is Kavita Se Hume Kavi Ki GEHRI SOCH Aur Tulnatmak Smriti Ka Ehsaas Hota Hai... .
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Top 12 Funny Shops
:D

1. Gandhi Hair Dressers

2. Mallika saree emporium

3. Kalmadi Constructions

4. Jaylalita Fitness Centre

5. Dharmendra Dance Academy

6.Mayawti Beauty Parlor

7. Yamraaj Travels

8. Soor das optical

9. Inzamaam English Coaching

10. Mulaayam Speech Therapy School

11. Salman marriage beauro

12. Rakhi sawant satsang kendra
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Bachcho.. Aaj hum class mein opposites seekhenge..

Bolo, Ravina Tondon ka opposite kya hai???
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Socho socho….
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Chalo bata hi deta hun..
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It’s Ravi-haan Tondon !!
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Next question,

Shahrukh Khan ka opposite kya hai???
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Jaldi batao…
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Yeh bhi nahi pata??
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It’s Shah-bhag Khan
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Chalo ab aakhri sawal.. Kum se kum yeh to sahi batao..

Salman Khan ka opposite kya hai?
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Kya kaha??
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Yes.. Sahi jawab !!
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It’s Sal-woman Khan !!!
HEHEHEHEHE !!
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Salman khan aur Mallika ki shadi hojane par kis ka bill sabse kam aye ga…….???
LAUNDRY KA !
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Bhikari Salman Khan To Shahrukh Khan
Salman Bhikhari : Mujhey
Khaany ko Kuch Mil Sakta hai.
Shahrukh: Kal Ki Roti Kha le Ga ?
Bhikhari Salman : Ji Han.
Shahrukh: Acha to Phir Kal Time Se
Aa
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 Agar Tum ne Hum ka Sms na Kiya
Tou Hum Tmhare Mobile main
Itne Ched Krenge Itne Ched Krenge k Confujen Hojaaye gi
k Charger Kahan Lagayen aurr Earphone Kahan
Chulbula Pandy.
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 Katrina: Main tumharay liye sab chor doon gi.
Salman: Ami abu?
Katrina: Haan
Salman: Khana pINA
Katrina: Haan
Salman: Friends
Katrina: Haan
Salman: Jo yeh blog parh raha hai ussay bhi.
Katrina: Zubaan sambhal k baat karo salman!
Main sab ko chor sakti hoon lekin apnay bhai ko nahin

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