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Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Jokes................Rules for Man by an Indian wife..................... 96313

माता पिता के बाद सबसे ज्यादा प्रेरणा कौन
देता है.....?
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बस कंडक्टर ' चलिए चलिए आगे बढिए''
आगे बढिए......आगे बढ़ते रहिये .....
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Sabar aur Shukar Dono Hi Ka bada Darja Hai
Sabar Musibat Ko Talta Hai aur
Shukar sukh aur Chaain Ko Badhata Hai
Isliye biwi maikey gai ho to shukar kare aur ghar me hoto sabar kare
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Husband : Mujhe Ajeeb si Bimari Ho Gai Hai...
Jab Meri Biwi Bolti Hai To..
Mujhe Kuchh Sunaai Nahi Deta...!!
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Hakim: Mashaalla Ye Bimari Nahin,...
Tum par Allah Ki Rehmat Hui Hai.. !!! 
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आज्ञाकारी बहु!

एक बार जीतो की सास ने उससे पूछा, " बहु फ़र्ज़ करो अगर तुम पलंग पर बैठी हो और मैं भी उस पलंग पर आकर बैठ जाऊं तो तुम क्या करोगी?"

जीतो: सासू माँ मैं वहां से उठ कर सोफे पर बैठ जाऊँगी।

सास: अगर मैं भी सोफे पर आकर बैठ जाऊं तो तुम क्या करोगी?

जीतो: जी मैं फर्श पर चटाई बिछा कर उस पर बैठ जाऊँगी।

सास: अगर मैं भी चटाई पर आकर बैठ जाऊं तो तुम क्या करोगी?

जीतो: जी मैं ज़मीन पर बैठ जाउंगी।

सास: अगर मैं भी ज़मीन पर बैठ जाऊं तो तुम क्या करोगी?

जीतो: जी मैं ज़मीन में गड्ढा खोद कर उसमे बैठ जाऊँगी।

सास: अगर मैं भी गड्ढे में बैठ जाऊं तो तुम क्या करोगी?

जीतो: जी मैं ऊपर से मिटटी डाल दूंगी।
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संता अपनी माँ और बीवी के साथ नदी पार कर रहा था.

अचानक माँ ने पूछा – “बेटा, अगर मैं और बहू दोनों डूबने लगें तो तू किसको बचायेगा ?”

संता सोच में पड़ गया. कोई जवाब नहीं सूझा.

आखिर बहू बोली – “आप माँ जी को ही बचा लेना … ”

माँ खुश हो गई. बोली – “और तुझे क्यों नहीं ?”

बहू बोली – “आप मेरी चिंता न करें … मुझे बचाने के लिए तो बहुत से लोग नदी में कूद जायेंगे ….!!! 
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Tchr : Murgiyo ki taange chhoti kyu hoti hai ?

Sardar ka Asardaar reply :

Sir, agar murgiyo ki taange Lambi hoti to Ande itne upar se gir kar toot jate na... 
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Biwi: Agar main mar gai to tum kya karoge.

Husband: Main to pagal ho jaonga.

Biwi: Kya tum dusri shadi kar loge.

Husband: Pagal aadmi kuch bhi kar sakta hai.
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Rules for Man by an Indian wife :

-My Man isn't allowed to sneeze in public... NO need to say "bless you." He's already blessed, he has me.

-My Man isn't allowed to have candles on his birthday cake...Wtf are you wishing for? All your dreams came true when you met me.

-My Man isn't allowed to defend another woman when I'm talkin about her. If I say shes a bitch, Shes A bitch !. Say it with me, "SHE IS A BITCH!"

-My Man isn't allowed to laugh at other woman's jokes when Im not around. He better call me and we'll decide together if its funny or not

-My Man isn't allowed to have more than 3 women in his life. Me, ur mother & ur sister. If you got two sisters, pick your favorite one

-My man isn't allowed to speak to other woman on the phone. If he calls 108 and a woman answers he better hang up & try again.

-My Man is not allowed to spray AXE in public. I 've seen the commercials. Those bitches come out of no where.

-My Man isn't allowed to talk to other women while I'm asleep. You not tired? Wanna talk to somebody? Say a prayer & get to know God a bit more.

-My Man isn't allowed to pray silently. I want to know what you & God are up to. You might be praying to get another woman.

-My Man not allowed to take a jog around the block, What is he trying to do? Practice how he'll run away from me? I don't think so.

-My Man isn't allowed to touch another woman. If you wanna touch her, you poke dat bitch with a stick!

-My Man isn't allowed to go out with his boys, he might turn gay and leave me.
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A lot of ladies used to sit together every evening in a park and talk non stop....

One day they were all sitting very very quietly.

A gentleman who would walk past the noisy group everyday was surprised to see them all so quiet....He inquired about this to which they replied,
"you see, today we r all present, so we don't know whom to gossip about...."!!

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