Monday, 16 September 2013

Jokes......................If his wife was coming to meet him.......................98513

Paul had been to the doctor's and when he returned home, his wife Rita noticed he looked depressed.

Rita asked, "Hey, what's the problem? What did the Doctor say?"

Paul answered, "Dr. Mathews told me I have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life."

Rita commented, "That's not a big deal. Lots of people take medicines every day of their lives."

Paul said in an irritated tone, "I know, I know....but he only gave me five pills!"

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 Gary asks his neighbor, "What should I do while my wife is renovating the house?"
The neighbor answers, "Keep yourself busy. If you are able to work with tools, you can complete the basement. When you're done, you'll at least have a place to live."

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 An Indian Airlines air-hostess was called into the office of Chief Trainer for a severe reprimand.
"Miss Dixit, I have been informed about the happenings on your maiden flight", said the furious trainer, glaring at the air-hostess.

"From now on, please remember - if a passenger feels faint, you need to push his head down between his own legs!"

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The other day, my Grandpa was telling me that he always uses valet parking.
When I asked why, he replied that valets at least remember where they park your car.
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 Sardar Santa Singh was asked: "Given a choice, what would you choose: Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?"

Thinking for a moment, the sardar replied, "I would choose Parkinsons. It's better to spill half a peg of whiskey than to forget where you kept the bottle."
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 An Indian visitor, Rahul was stopped by customs at Shanghai airport in China and asked if he had a criminal record.

Rahul replied sarcastically, "Oh, I didn't realize you still have to have one to get in!"
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 Old man Gary prays to god - "How can I escape that dreadful wrath of these old age wrinkles?"

A voice booms from the heavens: "Take off your glasses". 
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 Tracy, whose husband died, was married again to a widower.
At a party, her nosy friend Linda commented, "Tell me Tracy, like all men who have been married before, does your husband mention his first wife in his conversations?"

Tracy replied, "He does not. Not anymore."

Linda asked, "So why did he stop?"

Tracy said with a smile, "I started mentioning about my next husband."
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 The Dexter Nursing Home regulations made it mandatory to have a wheel chair for patients being discharged.

Alice, the trainee nurse, found an old guy already dressed and seated on the bed with a suitcase at his feet. Alice offered help but the old man insisted he could make it on his own and didn't need help to leave the hospital.

Alice reminded him that she had to follow rules, so he reluctantly let the nurse wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down, Alice asked him if his wife was coming to meet him.

'I don't know,' said the old man. 'Guess she is still up in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' 

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Narendra Modi ...................Collection of Modi's cartoons  

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