Tuesday, 13 August 2013

jokes...................Girl: I'm free tommorow!.......................88613

NEW BLOCKED PJ's
Boy : Whats your Name??
Girl: Palak and you
Boy: Paneer
*BLOCKED!!!*
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Girl : Hello i am khusbu
Boy : khusbu ka dusra naam bharosa
agarbati....kone kone me khusbu faila
de
**blocked**
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Boy:hi, wats ur name??
Girl: its Neha Singhal.
Boy: oh. . M also Single.
*blocked*
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Girl: What's Up?
Boy: Uttar Pradesh...
*gets blocked*
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Girl : tu soya hai...??
Boy : Nahi...! Schezwan hu..!
*Gets Blocked Instantly*
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Girl: I'm free tommorow!
Boy: pehle kya paid thi??
*GETS BLOCKED*
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Boy: aaj mausam achha h mall chalte
h.
Girl: waha kya karenge??
Boy: hawan karenge, hawan karenge.
*blocked*
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Girl : see ya!
Boy: var Ram chandra ki jay..!
Blocked*
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Girl: Have a Good Day....
Boy: No thank you... I like Parle-G
more...
*BLOCKED*
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Girl: I need some Space.
Boy: Ok then go to Rahul Gandhi's
forehead.
*Blocked*
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Girl puts up her status :" waiting for
CHENNAI EXPRESS "…
Boy: COOLIE hai kya? ?
*Blocked*
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Boy- Thank you
Girl-My pleasure
Boy- My Bajaj Pulsar
*Reported as spam*
*Blocked Forever*
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एक सरदार बाज़ार से कपड़ा खरीदने गया,
दुकान पर पहुंचकर...

सरदार: शर्ट का कपड़ा दिखाइये...
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दुकानदार: सर, प्लेन में दिखाऊं....???

सरदार: नहीं हेलीकॉप्टर में दिखा....हरामखोर,
बंदर की औलाद...सरदार दिखा नहीं कि मजाक शुरू....
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 Let's see who can find the answers!

Find surnames..
For Example:
Embarrassed Mother = Sharma
Talkative Gentleman = Chatterjee

1 Pickled Agreement
2 More Weapons
3 Monetary Worries
4 I Was
5 Youthful Me
6 Beautiful Mango
7 Beautiful Mountain Goat
8 Wash Limb Joint
9 Secret A
10 Lion Laugh
11 Country Eye
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1 acharya
2 adhikari
3 chintamani
4 Mehta
5 Kumar
6 Sundaram
7 Pahariya
8 dhoni
9 Gupta
10 Sinha
11 desai
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The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St.. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth..
'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man.
'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. 'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.
That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'
'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.
'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'
'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your stupid All-bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!
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Do you know why God has created spaces
between your fingers ??
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So that someone would come in your life.. hold your hand & say...
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"LE GOLD FLAKE PEE....."

har baat me emotional hona achhi baat nahi
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Girl:"Janu kal mera b’day hai,
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Boy:"Darling Advance me happy b’day,
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Girl:"kya gift doge..
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Boy:"kya chaiye..
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Girl:"RING...
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Boy:"Ring dunga par uthana mat BALANCE nahi hai...

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