Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, it would be awesome to swim through those like Scrooge McDuck.
According to a 15-year study conducted by French professor Jean-Denis Rouillon (MUST HAVE BEEN A FUN 15 YEARS), wearing a bra doesn't prevent sagging assets and may actually increase droop. *filling wastebasket with newspaper* What do you say -- let's burn those things, ladies!
Our first results confirm the hypothesis that the bra is a false need," Rouillon told France Info. "Medically, physiologically, anatomically, the assets does not benefit from being deprived of gravity. Instead, it languishes with a bra."
The 15-year study involved 330 volunteers between the ages 18 and 35. Researchers measured their assets using a slide ruler and a caliper and recorded any changes throughout the study period.
Women who did not wear bras had a 7 millimeter lift as measured each year. Their assets were also firmer, and their stretch marks faded. There was also no evidence that the bras helped get rid of back pain.
The researchers believed that wearing bras prevented the growth of tissues, which lead to deterioration of the muscles that support the assets. If you don't wear a bra, the muscles are worked-out more, the findings suggest.
I mean, I understand there are TIMES when wearing a bra is a good idea, like when you're working out and don't want your assets throwing punches at the people on the treadmills around you. And sometimes for fashion purposes or whatever. Mostly I'm just bitter about those pesky bra clasps. You know how many times I've awkwardly fumbled with those things until the girl wasn't in the mood anymore? EVERY SINGLE ONE. As far as I know they only exist in Photoshopped pictures on the internet.