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Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Jokes..........................Two men and a woman..................I Hate My Job day.................81713



The FBI had an opening for a new agent. After all the background checks, interviews and tests, there were 3 finalists;

Two men and a woman..

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of The men to a large metal door and handed Him a gun.

'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting In a chair . . . Kill her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man For this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.

He took the gun and went into the room. All was Quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, But I can't kill my wife.'
The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the Same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one After another. They heard screaming, crashing, Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all went quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her face.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

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When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]
Try this Out:
Stop at your pharmacy
And
Go to the thermometer section and
Purchase A rectal thermometer made By
Johnson & Johnson.
Be very sure you get this Brand.
When
You get home, lock your doors,
Draw The curtains and disconnect the phone
So You will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and sit
In your favourite chair. Open the package and remove the Thermometer.
Now,
Carefully place it on a table or a surface
So That it will not become chipped or broken.
Now
The fun part begins.
Take Out the literature from the box and read it Carefully.
You Will notice that in small print there is a Statement:
"Every Rectal Thermometer
Made by Johnson & Johnson
Is Personally tested
And then Sanitized."
Now,
Close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in
The thermometer quality control department at
Johnson & Johnson.'
HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!
Remember,
If you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your Heart....
Maybe
You should go and work for Johnson and Johnson!
Enjoy life now - It has an expiration date!

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