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Saturday, 27 July 2013

Jokes...................."RAM" ko Medical College me admission dilwa do!.................80313

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the road outside Parliament, Delhi.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the
window and asks,"What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire Indian Congress, & they're
asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they're going
to douse them all in petrol and set them on fire. We're going from
car to car, collecting donations !" said the man.

"How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks...

The man replies, "Roughly 2 liters !" .......
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Ladkiya paraya dhan hai, to ladke kya?

Nahi pata kya?
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Ek No. ke CHOR,
jinki nazar hamesha paraye dhan par hi lagi hoti hai.
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DJ-DM episode 420------------------

2 Boys were Following 2 Gals
Each girl took rakhi & tied 2 their hands & asked them:
what will u do now..

Boys: Dude, u marry my sister,
i will marry ur sister
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Ek student ko apni class mate se pyar ho gaya
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Ladke ne use prapose kiya Lekin ladki ne inkar kar diya aur
teacher ko uski complain kardi
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Teacher ne ladke ko kaafi daanta
or 1 week k liye class se nikal diya
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Jab 1 week baad ladka wapas class me gaya to Ladki ko uss se pyar ho gaya Ladki ne us ladke ki book me
likha:'' I m sorry & I love u too''
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Ladke ne koi response nahi diya..
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Isi tarah 4 saal guzar gaye

Moral:" bewkoof ladki itna bhi nahi
samajti Ladke kabhi books nahi kholte hai... 
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Train station pe ruki.
Pappu khidki ke paas betha tha.
Ek passenger ne us se poochha……..”Kaun sa station hai bhai?”

Pappu ne bahar dekh ke kaha…”Lagta hai Railway Station hai.’
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एक बार की बात है की एक बहुत पतला लड़का डॉक्टर के पास गया और बोला जी मेरा इलाज कर दो!

डॉक्टर ने कहा,” हम यहाँ इलाज़ करने के लिए ही बैठे हैं बताओ क्या बीमारी है?”

लड़के ने कहा, ”जी मेरी टांग मैं बीमारी है!
डॉक्टर बोला,” दिखा आपनी टांग”
उस पतले लड़के ने कहा,” जी आप हंस पडोगे मेरी टांग देखते ही!”

डॉक्टर बोला ,” नहीं हसूँगा हंसा तो आधी फीस माफ़!
लड़के ने अपनी टांग दिखाई, और डॉक्टर
उसकी पतली पतली हॉकी जैसी देख के हंस पडा और बोला तेरी आधी फीस माफ़
हो गयी , अच्छा बता क्या बीमारी है ?”

लड़का बोला जी बीमारी सुनो और आप फिर हंसोगे –
डॉक्टर बोला अगर मैं तेरी बीमारी सुन
के हंस पड़ा तो पूरी फीस माफ !
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लड़का बोला – जी ये टांग सूज रही हैं
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This is for my Doctor Dosts!

Minimum duration required to become a Doctor (applicable from 2014-15)

First Prof. ( 1 Year)
Second Prof. (1.5 Year )
Third Prof. ( 2 Years )
Internship (1 year)
Rural Posting (1 year)
Obtaining Good rank in NEET/DNB ( 1 Year)
Post Graduation (3 Years)
Fellowship or Super-specialization (2-3 Years)

Total Duration: 12.5-13.5 Years Minimum!

No wonder Doctors are compared to God by so many of us. It actually takes superhuman effort to study those many books, work those many hours & that too for not that much money!

Aaj agar Raja Dashrath hote to Kaikeyi unse yahi vachan mangti ki
"RAM" ko Medical College me admission dilwa do!
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HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA ___ LOLZZZZZZ

Japani couple SEXY baat karte huwe:

Husband: Sutaki
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Wife: Kowanini
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Husband: Toka anji rodi romi hoa yako
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Wife Ghutnay taik k boli: Mimi yoa
nakodinda tinkuji
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Husband Ghussay se: Na miaou kina tim
kouji.

"Logon ka shok to dekho.
Samajh kuch nhi a raha bas SEX ka
word aaya or poora message padh dala ..!!" 
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Teacher : How Old are You ?

Student : Check the Register ..

Teacher : wer r u frm ?

Student : Check in school Info..

Teacher : Whom do u love most Mom or Dad ?

Student : Ask My Heart

Teacher : stupid ..wer is ur Heart ?
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Student : Ask Ur daughter!!

Teacher shocked !!!! Student rocked..
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Sare Ameer baap ke beton ka ek hi problem hota ha
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Unko ye nahi pata hota hai ki unke baap kaun hain,

hamesha bolte rehte hain ki tujhe

pata hai mera baap kaun hain... ....!!
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Men are happier,
NICKNAMES

* If three girls go out for lunch, they will call each other Tina, Meena and Neena.
* If three men go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, men will each throw in 100/-, even though it's only for 220/-. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay 200/- for a 100/- item he needs.
* A woman will pay 100/- for a 200/- item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap , and a towel
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend..
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

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