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Friday, 26 July 2013

Jokes.....................Bankok special...🏃................80013

राहुल गाँधी से इंटरव्यू में पूछा गया:
अगर 2 मिनट के लिए आपको PM बना दिया जाये, तो आप क्या करेंगे… ?
राहुल: हम मैग्गी नूडल्स बनायेंगे..
Interviewer: क्यूँ….??
राहुल: 2 मिनट में तो सिर्फ मैग्गी ही बन सकती है..
Interviewer: अगर 5 साल के लिए बना दिया जाये….?
राहुल: हम 5 साल के लिए PM नहीं बनेंगे…
Interviewer: क्यूँ….?
राहुल: इतनी मैग्गी कौन खायेगा…!!!!!
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SONIA GANDHI during her speech told a story…
“There was a father who gave 100 rupees each to
his 3 sons and asked them to buy things and fill up
a room completely.

First son bought woods for Rs. 100 but couldn’t fill
the room entirely.

Second son bought cotton for Rs. 100 but couldn’t
fill the room entirely.

Third son bought a candle for Rs. 1 and lit it up and
the room was filled with light completely.”

Kapil Sibbal added “RAHUL GANDHI is like the third son, Since the day he has taken charge of his office, our country is filled with the bright light of prosperity.”
Narendra Modi asked:
“Woh sab toh theek hai, but where are the remaining Rs. 99 ?”

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 Rahul Gandhi walks into A Bank to cash a check.
As he approaches the cashier he says, “Good morning sir, would you please cash this check for me?”
Cashier: “It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?”
RG: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am Vice President of the Congress Party. future indian PM.
Cashier: “Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements etc., I must insist on seeing ID.”
RG: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.”
Cashier: “I am sorry sir but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”
RG: “I am urging you, please, to cash this check.”
Cashier: “Look Sir here is an example of what we can do. One day, Sachin Tendulkar came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Sachin he pulled out his bat and made a beautiful shot across the bank. With that shot we knew him to be Sachin and cashed his check.”
So, sir what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, future indian PM, Rahul Gandhi?”
RG stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says:
“Honestly, my mind is a total blank… There is nothing that comes to my mind. I can’t think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do; I just don’t have a clue”.
Cashier: “Sir 500 ke note dun ya 1000 ke?
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कांग्रस द्वारा वित्तपोषित......
भौकाली बाबा "3D" भोजनालय

सिर्फ दस रूपए में.......??
दाल
चावल
रोटी
सब्जी
आचर, पापड़, सलाद

कृपया जाते समय "3D" चश्मा वापस कर के जाये

( नोट :- हमारी कोई अन्य शाखा नहीं है )
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Bankok special...🏃
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Ek baar ek aadmi BANGKOK jaa raha tha..
uski wife ne.. naa chaahte huye bhi usse jaane ki permission dedi...

Jis din wo ghar se nikal raha tha..
jaate jaate usko wife ne bulaaya aur 12 condoms ka packet dekar boli.. "isse rakh lo mann ho gaya to .........."

Aadmi😎 khush ho jata hai aur sochta hai.. "waah kya biwi mili hai..."
Achaanak uski wife awaaz de kar usko fir bulati hai aur kehti hai.. "ruko, usme se 2 mujhe de do.., kahi mera mann ho gaya to ........."
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Trip Cancelled
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One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.

However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.

The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

The next morning, before the crowd arrives, the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.

However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.

Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla.

Well, this goes on for some time. The mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.

Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"
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Sitting on Last bench and
thinking:
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"yaar isko teacher kisne bana
diya...
BC.. isse accha to mai padha
leta"..
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Agree Students..???

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