Thursday, 11 July 2013

Jokes........................बैठ कर महबूबा की बाहों में ऐसा जोश आया...............& Missing Wife.................73713

Husband got a Taawiz to control his wife.
After 1-month, he reports:
"Baba, wife per koi asar nahi per padosan vash mein aa gayee..
"Baba:"Chalo side effect to huaa.."
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एक व्यक्ति मरकर ऊपर पंहुचा तो स्वर्ग द्वार पर उसे स्वयं चित्रगुप्त मिले|
"भगवान् ने तुम्हारी लेजर देखी है | " - चित्रगुप्त बोले - " उनका फैसला हैं की तुम एक शर्त पर भीतर आ सकते हो | "
" कौन सी शर्त भगवन ? "
" तुम्हे एक शब्द की जो कि फिरंगी जुबान का है, स्पैलिंग ठीक-ठीक बतानी होगी| "
" कौन सा शब्द भगवन ? "
" लव | "
" एल-ओ-वी-ई | "
" साधू | साधू | तुम भीतर आ सकते हो |"
वो व्यक्ति भीतर दाखिल हो गया | तभी चित्रगुप्त का मोबाइल बज उठा |
" हमें भगवान् बुला रहे है | " - वो बोले - " तुम एक मिनट द्वार पर निगाह रखना हम अभी लौट के आते हैं |"
" जो आज्ञा भगवन |"
" हमारी अनुपस्थिति में अगर कोई और प्राणी यहाँ पहुच जाए तो उसको प्रवेश देने से पहले उससे एक शब्द की स्पैलिंग पूछना |
वो भी तुम्हारी तरह स्पैलिंग ठीक बताये तो ही उसे भीतर आने देना | "
" ठीक हैं | "
चित्रगुप्त चले गए |
वो व्यक्ति द्वार पर पहरा देने लगा |
तभी एक स्त्री वहाँ पहुची | वो व्यक्ति ये देखकर बहुत हैरान हुआ कि वो उसकी बीवी थी |
" अरी बेला | " - वो बोला - " तू यहाँ कैसे पहुच गयी ? "
" तुम्हारे अंतिम संस्कार के बाद श्मशान घाट से लौट रही थी " - पत्नी बोली - " कि एक ब्लू लाइन बस ने कुचल दिया | उसके बाद देखा तो मैं यहाँ खड़ी थी | अब हटो मुझे भीतर आने दो |"
" ऐसे नहीं , भागवान ,यहाँ के नियम के अनुसार, पहले तुझे एक शब्द की स्पैलिंग ठीक-ठीक बतानी होगी | "
" कौन सा शब्द ? "
" चेकोस्लोवाकिया | "
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A Letter To Dad
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion. Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 16 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son JohnNY

PS.
Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Andy's house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you and let me know when it's safe to come home.
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Santa gets home from a visit to the dentist.
His wife asks in concern, `Does your tooth still hurt?`
Santa:I don't know he kept it.
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 मुर्गा: I Love You..
मुर्गी: हाहाहा...
मुर्गा: मैं तेरे लिए कुछ भी कर सकता हूं...
मुर्गी:रियली??
मुर्गा: यस, बताओ क्या करूं...?
मुर्गी: बताऊं
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बताऊं
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चल अंडा दे...
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बैठ कर महबूबा की बाहों में ऐसा जोश आया..........

वाह.... वाह... वाह.............. वाह!!

बैठ कर महबूबा की बाहों में ऐसा जोश आया..........
फिर...................?
फिर क्या? बीवी ने देख लिया और आयसीयू में होश आया...।
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Missing Wife:
Man: I lost my wife.

Inspector: What is her height?
Man: I never noticed.
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Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Man: Not slim, can be healthy

Inspector: Colour of the eyes?
Man: Never noticed

Inspector: Colour of hair?
Man: Changes according to season.

Inspector: What was she wearing?
Man: Saree/suit. I don't remember exactly.

Inspector: Was somebody with her???
Man: Yes, my Labrador dog, Romeo, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, brown eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non-veg. food, we eat together, we jog together... And the man started crying....

Inspector: Let's search for the dog first !!! :)
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