Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Jokes.....................why don't we pretend that we are married !!..................60713

One morning at a doctor's clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back pain.
The doctor examines him and asks him:
"Tell me what happened to your back...?"

The patient replies: "Sir, I work for a local night club. This morning I went to my apartment early and heard some noise in my bed room.
On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open.
I rushed out of the balcony door and did not find anyone.
As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself.
I was very angry. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him.
It was very heavy...
That is how I strained my back.!"

Later that day, a second patient arrives as if he has been in a car wreck.
The doctor said: "My previous patient looked bad..
But you look terrible..
What the hell happened to you ?"

He replied: "You know I have been unemployed for a while now.
Today was the first day at my new job...
I forgot to set my alarm and I was late...
I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time.
And you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge.
I don't know how and where from this fridge fall on me...!!!"

Before closing hours, the third patient comes. He looks like he was punished in hell.

The doctor is shocked.
He asks: "What the hell happened to you..??"

The patient replies:
"Well, It started like this, I was in a fridge.........."

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A man & a woman who never met before, find themselves on upper & lower berth of a long distance train. At 2 am, Man leans over saying, "Ma'm, sorry to bother you, Would you be kind enough to give me a 2nd blanket from the side table. Its awfully cold.

"I have a better idea", she replied, "Just for tonight, why don't we pretend that we are married !!

"Great idea Madam.". He replied in excitement.

She says,"Well then Get up & take it yourself.."

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Rancho: *Smiling*

Teacher: Aap muskura kyu rahe ho?

Rancho: Bohot dino se Facebook me account banane ki ichha thi...aaj
banadiya hai...bohot maza aa raha hai.

Teacher: Zyada maza lene ki zarurat nai hai...Tell me what is a Post?

Rancho: Anything that is posted on Facebook is Post, Sir.

Teacher: Can you please elaborate?

Rancho: Sir...jo bhi Facebook pe log daalte hai post hai sir...Ghumne gaye...photo daal diya! Post hai Sir.
Match dekha score daal diya! Post hai Sir... Sir actually hum post se ghire
hue hai sir! Katrina ki pic se Ronaldo ki kick tak!
Sab post hai sir! Ek second me comment, ek second me like!
Comment-Like... Comment-Like.

Teacher: Shut up! Account banake ye karoge? Comment-Like... Comment-
Like...
Hey Chatur tum batao,

Chatur: Pictures, texts or videos posted through mobile or tablet or laptop or desktop via different
operating system using internet on Facebook is called a Post...

Teacher: Excellent!

Rancho: Par sir maine bhi toh wahi bola seedhe shabdo mein...

Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me karna hai toh orkut ya twitter ke pages pe account banao... :@

Rancho: Par sir dusre sites bhi toh...

Teacher: Get out!

Rancho: Why sir?

Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me bahar jaiye.

Rancho goes out and comes back*

Teacher: Kya hua?

Rancho: Kuch bhul gaya tha sir.

Teacher: Kya?

Rancho: An utility button given to us, to protect our private data i.e pictures, messages or personal information for being stolen or used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else...

Teacher: Kehna kya chahte ho!?!?

Rancho: Logout sir! Logout karna bhul gaya tha!

Teacher: Seedha seedha nahi bol sakte the?!

Rancho: Thodi der pehle try kiya tha.
sir, aapko pasand nahi aaya

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Santa is back
Santa went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the Form he went to Delhi for filling it up.
You know why?
Form said: 'Fill Up In Capital.'

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Must Read
Dhoni: How Famous you are...??
Sir Jadeja : Whole world knows me.
Dhoni: Obama knows u..? Give proof.
Then Sir jadeja & Dhoni go to Obama's
house.
Sir: stand here at the gate, i'll come
with
Obama in balcony and show u.
Dhoni: ok.
Sir jadeja comes with Obama and
waved Dhoni from balcony.
After sometime, Sir jadeja bahar aye toh
dekha, Dhoni behosh ho gaya, hosh
me aya toh Sir ne reason pucha..
Dhoni: Ek American aaya tha, and
asked me, 'WHO IS THAT MAN WITH Sir
Jadeja IN BALCONY...?
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Classic Insult
Lecture Was Going On.. Suddenly A Boy Went
Out Of The Class..
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Lecturer:" Ye Bahar Kyu Chala
Gaya.. ??
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His Friend:" Sir Usko Neend Mein
Chalne Ki Aadat Hai...
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