Friday, 28 June 2013

Jokes..........................I'm a happily married man!.........................68413

After 3 years of his divorce my friend has put in 30 Kgs..
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.He rushed to me and asked a prescription to get rid of his extra weight.
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And this proved to be the easiest case in my clinical practice so far.
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I advised him to stop celebrating :))))))

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When I was young I decided to go to medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the alphabets

P N E I S

and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest are on Facebook ;-)
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What is breakup?
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It is when Jaan becomes Jaanwar!!!
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And Cutie becomes Kutti!!!
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Boy: I heard u failed in English?
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Girl: Who TELLED you? .
It is unpossible..
I sawed d result ystrday... I Passed away.. :P :D
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GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS On the set of KBC... .

A guy got stuck on a Rs. 5 crore question. . He uses phone-a-friend, nd chooses his girlfriend to ask the answer. .

Amitabh: Hey, you've got 30 seconds to answer nd ur time starts now! .

Boy reads out the question and the 4 options. . . .

Girl: Mil gaya time tumhe phone krne ka? Mujhe tumse koi baat nahi karni!
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.....Byeee!! :-| ... =)) :-P
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Winking Problem

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you."

"But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!"

"Really? Great! Show me!"

So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.

"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will NOT have our employees womanizing all over the country!"

"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!"

"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"

...

"Oh," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?" 
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If the electricity goes in America they call the power house.
In Japan, they test the fuse,

But In India, they check neighbour's house,
"sabki gayi hai naa, phir thik hai!"
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Sense of Responsibility............
A man goes to library n ask for a book on Suicide
Librarian looks him n says .
Bhai wapas kaun dene aayega???

………………….......

GRANDFATHER TO GRANDSON:
Go hide, your teacher is coming as you bunked school today!
GRANDSON: YOU go hide… I told her YOU PASSED AWAY!!;)

………………………………

Sis 2 bro : what r u going to gift grandma on her b'day?
bro : A football
Sis : bt grandma does nt play.
> bro : On my b'day she gave me bhagvad gita
> Uska kya?:-)
GM ... some smiles to start the day

Some more :

SARDARJI : I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
SARDARJI : No, he is not studying, they are studying him

SARDARJI : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
SARDARJI : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,Oh GOD! U have come again..

SARDARJI comes back to his car & finds a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for the compliment.'

How do you recognize a SARDARJI in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

SARDARJI : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
SARDARJI - If only the winner will get the cup, then why are the others running?

1 din Sardarji bazaar gya
Raste me 1 chor uska mobile lekar bhag gya
Sardar piche bhaga fir ruk gya or chilaya
"Leja kutte charger lene ayega na tab pakdunga"
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  Different moods of Sunny Leone...
Which one is your favorite ?? 

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Our next generation will not b able to see polar bears and tigers !!
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तो हम क्या करें? हमने भी तो कभी डायनासुर नहीं देखे, कभी कोई शिकायत की?....xD

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chatting on facebook ......

Me: hi..
She: hi....

Me: What's your name???

She: " Palak" , and urs???
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Me: " Paneer "...

* GET BLOCKED*.

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धोनी : साक्षी चाय लाना ..................

साक्षी : कौन से कप में लाऊं?? ...
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2007, 2011 or 2013 वाले में ..


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.EPiC gujju joke for all our Gujju fans : (गुजराती भाई)

Manmohan Singh summons the secretary & asks him "How come these Gujaratis know everything before anyone else knows about it ?

Secretary: There is a phrase in Gujarati "Shu Khabar?" (सू खबर)

Manmohan Singh: What does that mean?

Secretary: It means " What is the news. ?" & each Gujjubhai asks this to other whenever they meet & the answers given by the other one circulates the news very fast & they happen to know everything the fastest.

PM decides to experience this so he removes his turban & disguises himself & dresses typically like a Gujrarati & reaches Ghatkopar, the typical Gujju hub of Mumbai city.

He sees one Gujjubhai & asks him "Shu Khabar?" (सू खबर)?

The Gujjubhai replies "Salo Manmohaniyo paagdi kaadhi ne Ghatkopar ma aavyo chhe em sambhalyu chhe." !!!" (सालो मनमोहनियो पगड़ी काड़ी ने घाटकोपर मा आवयो छे एम संभालू छे )....

GUJJU ROCKS !!!!!


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