Saturday, 8 June 2013

Jokes...................His wife is having an affair...................62013

A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight.

While en-route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.

The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act.

For $100, the cab driver agrees.

Quietly arriving home, the husband and the cab driver tip-toe into the bedroom.

The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back, and there is his wife in bed with another man!

The husband puts a gun to the man's head.

The wife shouts, "Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money.


HE paid for the Mecedes I gave you.

HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.

HE paid for your football season tickets.

HE paid for our house on the Costa del Sol

HE paid for our golf club membership, and HE even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.

He looks over at the cab driver and says "What would you do?"

The cab driver replies, "I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches cold."

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A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat
"I do not Have a Headache;
I do not have a headache,

I do not have a headache.."

It Worked! The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.

He puts her on the bed and says,
"Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the Bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and haves sex with his wife like never before..
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"

The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says,
"Don't move, I'll be right back."
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With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom,
She sees him standing at the mirror and saying:
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"She's not my Wife.
She's Not my wife.
She's not my wife..."

His funeral service will be held on Friday.
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