Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Jokes................एमबीए मतलब मियां की बाहों में आराम..................62613

And here comes the best one:

Dost kameeney hone chahiye..... Co-operative toh Banks bhi hote hai :-P
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TEACHER : “Can anybody give an example of “COINCIDENCE? ”
PAPPU : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”
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PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
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TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher
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"FINE" IS A TAX FOR DOING WRONG THINGS.
Where as,
"TAX" IS A FINE FOR DOING RIGHT THINGS.
What A Funny World...!
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Ik aadmi thand lagne se kamp raha tha. Uska chhore ne doctor ko phone kiya.
Doctor: kya hua?
Chhora: bimari ka to pata nahin par bapu subha se vibration mode pe laga hai.
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पापा: बेटी 12वीं के बाद क्या करना चाहती हो। बेटी: एमबीए। पापा: वाह बेटी बहुत खूब, पर एमबीए का फुल फॉर्म तो बताओ। बेटी: एमबीए मतलब मियां की बाहों में आराम।
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Finally i told my parents that i want blackberry or apple...
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My parents said:
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"Ghar main kharbozay pary hain pehle wo khatam karo. :p :p :D
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The GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel,has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.


THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran , ruled by nuts.
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Breakfast was a very late affair that day and the husband and wife were fragile indeed.

Badly hung over from a particularly wild party the night before.

Bleary-eyed, with two trembling hands holding his very black coffee,

Our hero said to his wife, "Was it you I had sex with in the garden last night?"

She struggled to bring him into focus. "About what time?" she replied.
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STUDY QUESTIONS:

What is the frequency of experiences various sexual situations in women in offices in the United States.

Population studied:

7642 women working in offices in major cities around the United States were interviewed by a major polling organization.

358 women refused to be interviewed for the study.

Findings:

10% of the women had sex within the first hour of a first date
20% of the women have had sex in a non-traditional place
29% of the women have never experienced homosexual relations
36% of the women favor nudity during sex
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning
82% of the women would like to experience sex with a stranger on a beach
97% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.

Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having sex in the morning with a strange woman on the beach than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral:

Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!
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A Red Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look.

"Mom, why is my bigger brother named Thunderstorm?"

She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."

Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?"

She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."

"And why is my other sister called Moonchild?"

"Because we were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."

Thoughtfully, Mother paused and asked her son,

"Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious?"
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"I can't believe that you and Claire are splitting up," said John to his friend Pete. "I've always thought of you as the perfect couple, that you'd be together forever.

Surely you can sort things out, it can't be that bad, can it?"

"Well" explained Pete, "We were driving through a red light district last night when Claire said: "Oh look, it's one of those hookers, or prossies, or whores
or whatever you call them."

And I said: 'It's Kelly, her name is Kelly.'"

John fell silent for a moment, and then said: "So who do you think will get to keep the house?"
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