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Monday, 27 May 2013

Jokes................Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.. Get a lawyer................59113

It can happen only in INDIAN MOVIES:

Baghban:Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are
separated right after Holi remember Amitabh
singing Holi khele Raghubeera?). They are said to
be separated for six months, ie from March to
September. Within that six-month period, they
celebrate Valentine's Day, which falls on February
14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in
October. There is no way these two occasions
could come between March and September!
u all may know that.............
Now for cricket fans..........to enhance their movie
cricket rules........
Lagaan: Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century.
At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8
balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe
modern cricket learnt from the movie.
Amar Akbar Anthony :Three men donate blood at
the same time to the same person.
It can happen because that scene was very
emotional...........???????
Khalnayak: The police tracks the villain from an MS
Word Document screen!.....................
After Movie ends
Special thanks to Bill Gates
(......WORD..............SPY.. ........When Bill???????)
Pyar To Hona Hi Tha:Kajol gets off the train to use
the public toilet at the railway station and the train
chugs off without her. Poor girl,little did she know
that every train compartment has four toilets
inside.
No comment ...............Indian movies???????
Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi: Akshay Kumar boards a Jet
Airways flight to America ?????? Well,! well, some
promotion for our Indian Jet Airways.................
International Khiladi + Domestic Flight =
International Flight + Khiladiyon ka khiladi
The last one is ultimate............and horrible.........
Tere Mere Sapne:Priya Gill is doing her BA. But at
the bus stop, she is carrying an ELECTRICAL
TECHNOLOGY by B L Theraja.....(Himmat to
dekho.........).
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The Modern Doctor at Supermarket 

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."


"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies


"There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.


It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."


So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.


He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample... He pours the sample into the slot and waits.


Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:


"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco.."


That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.


He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.


Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .


The computer prints the following:


1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Costco!
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