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Monday, 20 May 2013

jOKES................The Funniest Matrimonial Adz....................56313

The Funniest Matrimonial Adz

Salesman
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!

Economist
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest.

Mathematician
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.

Business Man
Wife wanted for company.

Politician
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point).

Car Dealer
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition.

Farmer
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breeding.

Lawyer
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind
whatsoever.

Banker
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

Accountant
Required a girl - 5'8". She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit to her family.

Builder
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.

Doctor
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.

Army Commando
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.
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 COUPLE SEX


Eight year old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grandpa, what is couple sex?"

The grandfather knowing frankness of Obama with their Girls on media news decided a girl talented enough to ask the question, is rightful enough for a straightforward response.

Thoughtfully and carefully he began to explain, covering everything on the subject about human reproduction, attractions, joys and responsibilities of sex.

When he finished explaining, the little girl was staring at grandpa with her mouth gasping, eyes wide in amazement.

Seeing her astonished face, the grandfather inquired, "Why you asked me that question, dear baby?"

The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a “COUPLE SECS”.
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 ROLL CALL





Doing a rollcall on the first day back at school at Brookstown Primary, the teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:

"Mustafa El Ekh Zeri?"
"Here."

"Achmed El Kabul?"
"Here."

"Fatima Al Chadoury? "
"Here."

"Abdul Alu Ohlmi?"
"Here."

Mohammed Ibn Achrha?"
"Here."

"Mi Cha El Mey Er"

Silence in the classroom.

"Mi Cha El Mey Er"

Continued silence as everyone looked around the room.

She repeated, "Is there any child here called Mi Cha El Mey Er?"

A boy arose and said, "Sorry teacher. I think that's me. My name is Michael Meyer."

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