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Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Jokes satire...................The Lungi, The Legend.....Jai Lungi !!.................53813

मुस्लिम :- हमें तालीम चाहिए
कांग्रेस :- चुप रहो नहीं तो बीजेपी ताकत में आ जाएगी
मुस्लिम :- हमें विकास चाहिए
कांग्रेस :- चुप रहो नहीं तो बीजेपी ताकत में आ जाएगी
मुस्लिम :- हमें प्रतिनिधित्व चाहिए
कांग्रेस :- चुप रहो नहीं तो बीजेपी ताकत में आ जाएगी
मुस्लिम :- हमारे बच्चे गरीबी से मर रहेहैं
कांग्रेस :- चुप रहो नहीं तो बीजेपी ताकत में आ जाएगी
मुस्लिम :- हमें लोकतंत्र में हमारा हिस्सा चाहिए
कांग्रेस :- चुप रहो नहीं तो बीजेपी ताकत में आ जाएगी

हिन्दू :- हमें शिक्षा चाहिए
बीजेपी :- मंदिर वंही बनायेंगे।
हिन्दू :- हमें चिकित्सा चाहिए
बीजेपी :- मंदिर वंही बनायेंगे।
हिन्दू :- हमें रोज़गार चाहिए
बीजेपी :- मंदिर वंही बनायेंगे।
हिन्दू :- हमें खाना चाहिए
बीजेपी :- मंदिर वंही बनायेंगे।
हिन्दू :- हमारे बच्चे गरीबी से मर रहे हैं
बीजेपी :- मंदिर वंही बनायेंगे।
हिन्दू :- हमें लोकतंत्र में हमारा हिस्सा चाहिए
बीजेपी :- मंदिर वंही बनायेंगे।

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शीला (सहेली मीना से ) - मेरे पति बहुत ही सीधे हैं | मेरे अलावा किसी किसी की ओर आंखे उठाकर भी नहीं देखते हैं |

मीना - मेरे पति तेरे पति से चार कदम आगे हैं | पराई औरत तो क्या , मेरी तरफ भी आंख उठाकर नहीं देखते |
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जज (गवाह से )- जब इस स्त्री की अपने पति के साथ लड़ाई हुई तब तुम कहा मौजूद थे ?

गवाह ( जज से )- हुजूर , में लड़ाई के वक्त वहां खड़ा था |

जज - अच्छा , तो तुम गवाह की हैसियत से कुछ कहना चाहते हो ?

गवाह - हुजूर , यही कि मैं कभी शादी नहीं करूंगा |
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Dear all,

I could not stop myself from posting this satire on Kerala Lungi here, for our blog. Of course, no malice intended.

Subject: The Lungi, The Legend:

By Unknown (US Citizen, born in Kerala).

Just as the national bird of Kerala is Mosquito (?!), the national dress is 'Lungi'. Pronounced as 'Lu' as in loo and 'ngi ' as in 'mongey', a lungi can be identified by its floral or window-curtain pattern. 'Mundu' is the white variation of lungi and is worn on special occasions like hartal or bandh days, weddings and Onam.

A Lungi is simple and 'down to earth' like the keralite wearing it. Lungi is the beginning and the end of evolution in its category. Wearing something on the top half of your body is optional when you are wearing a lungi. Lungi is a strategic dress. It's like a one-size-fits-all-bottoms for Keralites.

The technique of wearing a lungi/mundu is passed on from generation to generation through word of mouth like the British Constitution. If you think it is an easy task wearing it, just try it once! It requires techniques like breath control and yoga that is a notch higher than sudarshan kriya of AOL ( Art Of Living - a breathing technique ). A lungi/mundu when perfectly worn won't come off even in a quake of 17 on the richter scale.
A lungi is not attached to the waist using duct tape, staple, rope or velcro. It's a bit of mallu magic whose formula is a closely guarded secret like the Coca Cola chemicals.

A lungi can be worn 'Full Mast' or 'Half Mast' like a national flag. A 'Full Mast' lungi is when you are showing respect to an elderly or the dead. Wearing it at full mast has a lot of disadvantages. A major handicap is when a dog runs after you. When you are wearing a lungi/mundu at full mast, the advantage is mainly for the female onlookers who are spared the ordeal of swooning at the sight of hairy legs.
Wearing a lungi 'Half Mast' is when you wear it exposing yourself like those C-grade movie starlets. One can play cricket, football or simbly run when the lungi is worn at half mast. One can even climb a coconut tree wearing lungi at half mast. "It's not good manners, especially for ladies from decent families, to look up at a mallu climbing a coconut tree"- Confucius say !!

In Kerala, the traditional dance is kudiyattam. Kudi means drinking alcohol and yattam, pronounced aattam, means random movement of the male body. Note that 'y' is silent. (When you are drinking, you drink, there is no 'y'). Any alcohol related "festival" can be enjoyed to the maximum when you are topless with lungi at half-mast and a towel tied around the head.

"Half mast lungi makes it easy to dance and shake legs" says Candelaria Amaranto, a Salsa teacher from Spain after watching 'kudiyaattam' .

The 'Lungi Wearing Malayalee Union' [LUWMU, pronounced LOVE MU], an NGO which works towards the 'upliftment' of the lungi, strongly disapproves of the GenNext tendency of wearing Bermuda shorts under the lungi. Bermudas under the lungi is a conspiracy by the CIA. It's a disgrace to see a person wearing Bermudas with corporate logos under his lungi.

What they don't know is how much these corporates are limiting their freedom of movement and expression.

Lungi is worn round the year. It's all weather, all season versatility has no match. Winter is celebrated by wearing a colourful lungi with a floral pattern. Yet it is in summer that a lungi provides good ventilation and brings down the heat between the legs.

The Lungi wearer is protected from global warming more than anyone else in the world. However, if despite wearing a lungi you feel the heat, you can use the ends of the lungi to fan your heated parts.

Jai Lungi !!
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