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Friday, 26 April 2013

Jokes..........Quickie in the Bushes............&..........Got water??.................44413

Quickie in the Bushes

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude
woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred
years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single
gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a
hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life
for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the
shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing..

The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you
care to do it again?' He asks her 'Shall we?' She eagerly replies, 'Oh,
yes, let's!

But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and
you shit on its head.'

----------AND WERE YOU THINKING????

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A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the
Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping
to find water, he hurried toward the object,  only to find a little old
Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.


The Taliban asked, 'Do you have water?'

The Jewish man replied, 'I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?
They are only $5.'


The Taliban shouted, 'Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need
water! I should kill you,but I must find water first!


'OK,' said the old Jewish man, 'it does not matter that you do not want to
buy a tie and that you hate me.  I will show you that I am bigger than
that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you
will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need.
Shalom.'


Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.


Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead..



'Your f***ing brother won't let me in without a tie!'
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