Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Jokes.................MAHA KHATARNAK STUDENT.....................40513

The grade 5 teacher one day asked the children in her class to make rhymes with their names.
First up was Dan. A very adventurous child.

My name is Dan,
When I grow up to be a man,
I want to go to India and Japan,
If I can, If I can, If I can.

Very good she said to Dan. She then told Sally that it now was her turn.

My name is Sally,
When I grow up to be a lady,
I want to have a baby,
If I can, if I can, if I can.

That is good Sally, she said. But maybe one day you will change your mind. Next up was Sam he was the naughty one in the class.

My name is Sam,
When I grow up to be a man,
Never mind India and Japan,
I gonna help Sally with her plan,
I know I can, I can, I can. 

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MAHA KHATARNAK STUDENT :D
°°°°
Teacher: What is a verb?
Student: A verb is a valve found in bicycle tyre.

Teacher: What are you saying?.
Student: It is a complete sentence.

Teacher: Are you mad?.
Student: It is a question.

Teacher: Don't be silly.
Student: It is an advice.

Teacher: Stop that nonsense.
Student: It is a command.

Teacher: You are an idiot.
Student: It is an insult!.

Teacher: Get out of my class.
Student: It is an order!

Teacher: Oh my God! What a shame!
Student: It is an exclamation.

Teacher: May God have mercy on you.
Student: It is a prayer sir! :P :D
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Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58pm , sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV..

The 10pm news came on covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset but handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5pm news so I knew he'd jump."

The blonde replied, "I did too, but didn't think he'd do it again." 
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Classic examples for students of different age groups :-

1st to 3rd class :-
"hey ! I studied everything for exam . .

4th to 6th class :-
"hey ! That question was very hard so i leave only that question . .

7th to 10th class :-
"hey ! Read only important questions. . .

11th class :-
"i think 4 chapters are enough 2 get pass . .

12th class :-
"kal exam kaun sa hai yaar ?

. . And

in college :-
"saalo bata to dete aaj exam hai main toh pen bhi nahi laya. o_O =-O
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पान की दुकान के बाहर बड़ी चहल कदमी थी ! कुछ लोग पान खा रहे थे कुछ
सिगरेट पी रहे थे ! कुछ आपस मैं बतिया रहे थे ,
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तभी एक थप्पड़ की आवाज़ गूंजी १ एक युवक ने दुसरे को थप्पड़ मार
दिया ,हंगामा हो गया !लोग इकट्ठे हो गए ,एक ने पूच्छा क्यों मारा इसे !
थप्पड़ मरने वाला युवक देश मई इतनी महंगाई है !
दूसरा युवक ;लेकिन थप्पड़ क्यों मारा
युवक;दिन दहाड़े बहु बतियों की इज्ज़त लूट रही है !
एक बूढी औरत;लेकिन थप्पड़ क्यों मारा
युवक;चार राज्यों मैं सुखा पड़ा है !
एक बूढा;भाई लेकिन थप्पड़ क्यों मारा !
युवक;बिना रिश्वात के कोई कम नहीं होता !
पान वाला ; लेकिन इस को थप्पड़ क्यों मारा ; एक और जोरदार आवाज़
गूंजी अबकी बार थप्पड़ पान वाले को लगा !
लोग;अब इसको क्यों मारा !
युवक ये सब जानता है फिर भी पुच्छ रहा है क्यों मारा; एक बहुत बजुर्ग beta अब तुम बता ही दो क्यों मारा ;

युवक चच्चा देश मैं इतने मुद्दे हैं और ये साला मुझसे पूछता है स्कोर
क्या हुआ है ,बस इसलिए मारा. .
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Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs. Neely, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?"



"Ninety-eight," she replied.

The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the bitches."
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