Saturday, 16 March 2013

With the government reducing the age to have legal sex 16 years...& Why Santa got slapped?................30513

The Time Machine

President Obama and the Canadian PM are shown a time machine which can see 50 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each.

President Obama goes first: "What will the USA be like in 50 years' time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out: "The country is in good hands under the new president, Jose Fernandez.... crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, and the economy is healthy. Vice President Jin Tao has declared Chinese language mandatory in all USA schools There are no worries."

The Canadian PM thinks, "It's not bad, this time machine, I'll have a bit of that" so he asks: "What will Canada be like in 50 years' time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout. But he just stares at it.

"Come on, David," says Obama, "Tell us what it says?"

"I can't! It's all in Punjabi!"
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बंता (एक राहगीर को बड़ी देर से देखने के बाद), भाई साहब, बुरा मत मानिएगा क्या आप चीनी हैं?

राहगीर ने कहाः नहीं मैं भारतीय हूं।

थोडी देर बाद बंता लौटकर फिर आया और पूछाः भाईसाहब क्या आप चीनी हैं?

राहगीर गुस्से सेः मैं भारतीय हूं। बंता फिर चला गया।

कुछ देर बाद वह फिर आया और पूछाः भाईसाहब आप चीनी हो?

राहगीर भड़क उठाः हां, हां, मैं चीनी हूं… अब बोलो

बंताः कह जरूर रहे हो, पर चीनी लगते तो नहीं हो यार।
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Funny but Reality. . .

We are living in such a World,
where Artificial Lemon Flavour is used for Welcome Drink
and
Real Lemon is used in Finger bowl.
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Why Santa got slapped ? :p

A Lady was wearing a T-shirt With GUESS printed
on it and innocent santa guessed ' Kam se Kam 36 to hoyenge bhenji ' 
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With the government reducing the age to have legal sex 16 years...

We will soon need to introduce bourn-vita and Rasna flavoured condoms... =)):pdnt u thnk so???
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डायरेक्टर (नई अभिनेत्री से) - देखिए, आपको इस फिल्म के लिए खास कारणों से हीरोइन चुना गया है। निर्माता को आपके मेकअप, वस्त्रादि पर अधिक खर्च नहीं करना पड़ेगा। आप जैसी हैं, बस वैसी ही पर्याप्त हैं।
अभिनेत्री - फिल्म का नाम क्या है?
डायरेक्टर - इस हॉरर फिल्म का नाम भी बड़ा डरावना है - 'एक भूतनी की प्रेम कथा।'
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A door to door salesman knocked on a door and a woman answered.

Salesman: Hello, would you like to buy a book titled 500 excuses to give your wife for staying out late?

Woman : Why on earth would I buy a book like that ?
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Salesman: Because, I sold a copy to your husband this morning. :-D :-D
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Y do ENGINEERING students always prefer local author books then
REFERENCE books..??

The local author says

“Jack & Jill went up the hill

to fetch a pail of water,

jack fell down and broke his crown

and Jill came tumbling
after"

& REFERENCE BOOK says

“ 2 humans ascended a certain geological protuberance to collect hydride of oxygen whose quantity is not specified.

One member Jack of rapid irregular disturbing movements encounter fatal logical gravitational error leading to complete disarray.

Other member whose scope lies within disarray descends down the geographical protuberance at
an acceleration, whose magnitude
is controlled by the force of gravity. ”
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