Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Son of a Bitch fish...........32013

 The parish priest went on a fishing trip.


On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish & proceeded to reel it
In.


The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"



"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"


"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!"



"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!"


Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster.



"Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen"


"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch.. What should I do with it?"


"Why, eat it!Of course. You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a
Bitch!"


Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory.


While unloading his gear & his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his
Trip.


"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"



Sister Mary gasped & clutched her rosary, "Father!"


"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is, a Son of a Bitch fish!"


"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?"



Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit
In a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner.


"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch," she said..

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.



"What are you doing Sister?"

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new Bishop's Dinner"


"Sister!  I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"



"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch Fish."


"Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and
That Son of a Bitch can be the main course!


Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch."


On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect..The Friar
Had prepared an excellent meal.


The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent.

The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"


"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest.


"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the Sister.


The Friar added," And I prepared the Son of a Bitch, using a special recipe!


The new Bishop looked around at each of them.


A big smile crept across his face as he said,

"You fuckers are my kind of people"

.
.
.
.
.
.
..
..
 
George rushed to the hotel manager’s cabin and shouted, “Help me, my wife is trying to jump from the fifth floor.”

The Manager replies: “It is your personal problem, sir. What can I do in this matter?”

George bursts out, “Right, but the window is jammed!"

.
.
.
.
.
.
..
..

A stock analyst and a Wall Street broker went to the races. The broker suggested to bet $10,000 on a horse. The analyst was skeptical, saying that he wanted first to understand the rules, to look on horses, etc. The broker whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for the success, but he could not convince the analyst.

"You are too theoretical," he said and bet on a horse. Surely, that horse came first bringing him a lot of money. Triumphantly, he exclaimed: "I told you, I knew the secret!"

"What is your secret?" the analyst asked.

"It is rather easy. I have two kids, four and six year old. I sum up their ages and I bet on number eleven."

"But, four and six is ten," the analyst protested.

"I told you, you are too theoretical!" the broker replied, "Haven't I just shown experimentally that my calculation is correct?!"

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
..

Actual answers given on Family Feud

Name something a blind person might use - A sword

Name a song with moon in the title - Blue Suede Moon

Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell

Name an occupation where you need a torch - A burglar

Name a famous brother & sister - Bonnie & Clyde

Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 musketeers - A horse

A kind of ache - Fillet 'O' Fish

Something you open other than a door - Your bowels

A food that can be brown or white - Potato

A jacket potato topping - Jam

A famous Scotsman - Jock

Another famous Scotsman - Vinnie Jones

Something with a hole in it - Window

A non living object with legs - Plant

A domestic animal - Leopard

A part of the body beginning with 'N' - Knee

A way of cooking fish - Cod

Something that flies that doesn't have an engine - A bicycle with wings

Something you might be allergic to - Skiing

Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters

Something a cat does - Goes to the toilet

Something you do in the bathroom - Decorate

Name an animal you might see at the zoo - A dog

Something associated with the police - Pigs

A sign of the zodiac - April

Something slippery - A conman

Name something that floats in the bath - Water

Name something you wear on the beach - A deckchair

Name something Red - My cardigan

Name a famous cowboy - Buck Rogers

Name a famous royal - Mail

A number you have to memorize - 7

Something you do before going to bed - Sleep

Something you put on walls - Roofs

Something in the garden that's green - Shed
-->

No comments:

Post a Comment