Friday, 15 March 2013

Paisa to Sunny Leone ke paas bhi hai!!!....30213

I heard the story of a woman who had finished shopping and
returned to her car. She found four men inside the car. She
dropped her shopping bags, drew a handgun, and screamed, "I
have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car."
Those men did not wait for a second invitation; they got out
and ran like crazy.

The woman, somewhat shaken, loaded her shopping bags and then
got into the car. But no matter how she tried, she could not
get her key into the ignition. Then it dawned on her: her car
was parked four or five spaces away! She loaded her grocery
bags into her own car and then drove to the police station to
turn herself in. The desk sergeant to whom she told the story
nearly fell off his chair laughing. He pointed to the other
end of the counter, where four men were reporting a carjacking
by an old woman with thick glasses and curly white hair, less
than five feet tall, and carrying a large handgun. No charges
were filed.

You see, she thought it was her car, but it really belonged to
someone else.  

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A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,
"Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it
really doesn't bother me too much. They never
smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact,
I've passed gas at least 20 times since I've
been here in your office. You didn't know I was
passing gas because they don't smell and are
silent.

The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and
come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor,"
she says, "I don't know what medicine you gave
me, but now my gas..... although still silent...
smells terrible."

The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've
cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your
hearing." 

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Girl says:-
Naa dekh hasino ko paap hoga,
Tu bhi ek din kisi hasina ka baap hoga.
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Boy says:-
Khuda kare teri zuban sachi ho,
aur Mujhe baap kehne wali teri hi bachi ho.!

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Teacher to Pappu:
Why are you late? All your classmates came to the class on time!

Pappu: Group me to kutte aate hain.. lekin SHER hamehsa akela aata hai sir!!
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Chhote: Tujhe pata hai main aaj girl friend se
milunga
Bade: Kya baat kar raha hai, teri bhi girl friend hai !
Chhote: Haan, Aur mujhe shaam ko badminton court jaana hai.
Bade: Badminton court kyun?
Chhote: Waha net hota hai na… isiliye
Bade: Abe net ka kya karega…
Chhote: Girl firend se milunga na, usne bola tha, aaj shaam ko 4 baje Net pe milte hain… hahaha
Bade: Bakwas band kar!

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Jailor: Faansi pe latakne se pahle koi aakhri
khwaish…?

Santa: Biwi se milna hai…
Jailor: Biwi se hi kyun, Mama papa se kyun nahi…?
Santa: Saale agle janam me.. Mama Papa to Janm lete hi mil jayenge, par Biwi to 25 saal baad milegi na….
Desperate Santa 
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If movies were made by drinkers,
it will be named as follows:

1) Soda Akbar
2) Rab Ne Pila di Thodi
3) Rum de basanti
4) Hum tight ho chuke sanam
5) Beer Zaara
6) Bevde Zameen Par
7) Ek Tha Bagpiper
8) Talli six
9) Rum Maro Rum
10) Maine Drink Tujko Diya
11) Bewdy Rathore
12) Hickk Hick Hota Hai
13) DaaruDas
14) Hum Tunn
15) Maine Neat Kyu Piya
16) Peg Liya To Chakna Kya
17) Ulti Kar Di Aapne
19) Whiskiya
20) Peenewale Baaltiyan Le Jayenge

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Interviewer: Let me check ur english
tell me d opposite of good.?
Santa: Bad…….

Interviewer: Come
Santa: Go.

Interviewer: Ugly?
Santa: Pichhlli.

Interviewer: PICHLLI??????????
Santa: UGLY.

Interviewer: Shut Up.
Santa: Keep talking.

Interviewer: Ok, now stop all dis
Santa: Ok, now carry on all dis.

Interviewer: Abey, chup ho
ja..chup ho ja..chup ho jaa.
Santa: Abey bolta ja..bolta ja..bolta ja.

Interviewer: Arey, yaar.
Santa: Arey dushman.

Interviewer: Get Out
Santa: Come In.

Interviewer: Oh my God.
Santa: Oh, my devil.

Interviewer: shhhhhhh
Santa: Hurrrrrrrrrrrrr rr

Interviewer: mere bap chup hoja
Santa: mere bete bolta reh

Interviewer: U are rejected
Santa: I m selected. Oye Bolo ta ra ra ra ra… hayo rabba!!

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Thought of the day
Bande ke paas izzat honi chahiye…
Paisa to Sunny Leone ke paas bhi hai!!!
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Ek hasina ko dekhkar arz kiya
‘teri smile me kya chamak hai…
teri smile me kya chamak hai’

wo muskura kar boli…
‘arey pagal…
mere toothpaste mein namak hai’ 

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Santa: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Banta: Yaar kal jaaunga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai….!
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Teacher: Why r u stressed?
Did you forget your
roll no?
pen?
calculator?

Student: oye chup karja…
Itthe main galat subject di parchi le aaya,
aur tenu pen pencil di padi hai!!
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