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Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?.....26913

American :- ye Kutuß Minarkitne din


 main bana hai ?


Indian :- 1 mahine main



American :- yeh hamare mulk mEin



to 2 weeks mein ban jati hai….


Thoda aage jane k baad phir poocha:



 Yeh Lal kila kitne din

main


bana hai?


Indian :- Sirf 2 weeks main


American :- hamare Mulk mein to 3


days mein ban jati hai…


Taj Mahal k paas se guzre toh american


ne pucha :-


Yeh Taj Mahal kitne din


mein bani hai ?


..


.,..


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Indian :- Pataa nahi Kal shaam ko



to Nahin tha….

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Traffic police (TP) ne Santa ko roka: 


Aapna license


dikao.



Santa: Nahi hai.



TP: Kya license banvaya hai ya nahi.



Santa: Nahi.



TP: Kyon?



Santa: Banwane gaya tha, woh Voter ID



 card


mangte hain, aur woh mere paas nahi 



hai..


TP: To Voter ID card Banwale..



Santa: Banwane gaya tha, woh Ration 



Card mangte


hain, woh mere paas nahi hai..



TP: Toh fir Ration Card banwale..



Santa: Gaya tha, Woh Bank ki Paasbook



 mangte


hain, woh mere paas nahi hai..



TP: To fir isme kya hai, Bank main 



account


khulwale mere baap.. Santa: Bank bhi


 gaya tha saab, lekin


woh Driving



License mangte hain...

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A girl came skipping home from school

 one day. 


"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we 


were counting today, 


and all the other kids could only count to


 four, 


but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,


 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"


"Very good," said her mother.



"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"



"Yes, it's because you're blonde," her



 mother replied.

 
The next day, the girl came skipping



 home from school. 


"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we 


were saying the alphabet today, 


and all the other kids could only say it to


 D, 


but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, 



G!" 


"Very good," said her mother. 



"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" 


"Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're 


blonde." 


The next day the girl came skipping 



home from school. 


"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we


 were in gym class today, 


and when we showered, all the other


 girls had flat chests, 


but I have these!" 

And she lifted her tank top to reveal a 


pair of 36Cs. 


"Very good," said her embarrassed



 mother. 


"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" 



"No, it's because you're 25."

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Santa English me Fail hogaya.


Translations ki waja se:



1. Wo meri nawasi he



(She is my eighty nine)



2. Me ek Aam Admi hoon.



(I am a Mango man)



3. Mujhe English Aati he.



(English comes to me)



4. MeraTaluk Haripur Hazara se he.



(I belong to Green Pur Thousanda)



5. Mera mazaq mat urao.



(Dont fly my joke)



6. Badalta hay rang aasman kese kese.



(Change the colour sky how how)



Aur akhri tarjuma to tabahi tha..



7. Mumbai ki Sarak pr Goliyan chal rahi



 hen.


(Tablets are walking on the road of 



Mumbai).
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‎3 drunk guys entered a taxi.


The taxi driver knew that they were



drunk so he started the engine &



turned it off again.



He told them."We have reached ".



The 1st guy gave him money &



the 2nd guy said "thank you".



The 3rd guy... gave the driver a slap!!



The driver was shocked,



thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he 


did.


But he asked "whats that for?".



The 3rd guy replied: 



"CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME,


you nearly killed us"!!!!

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एक बार सुपर भौकाली गुरू रजनीकांत अपने बनारस 


में आए...


स्टेशन से निकलते ही उनकी मुलाकात एक ठग से हो


 गई...


ठग ने कहा: मेरे 5 सवालों का जवाब दे दीजिए, 


फ्री में बनारस घुमाउंगा...नही तो मेरे ऊपर साउथ में 


मूवी बनाना...


रजनीकांत बोले- ठीक है...



ठग: पर शर्त ये है कि पाँचों का जवाब "ग़लत" होना 



चाहिए, 

अगर एक भी जवाब "सही" निकला तो शर्त हार


 जाओगे...


रजनीकांत: ठीक है, पूछो...


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ठग: बनारस किस प्रदेश में है



रजनीकांत: एम पी में



ठग: ओ के



ठग: यहाँ कौन सी भाषा बोली जाती है



‍रजनीकांत: तमिल



ठग: ओ के



ठग: यहाँ कौन सी नदी बहती है



रजनीकांत: यमुना



ठग: ओ के



ठग: बनारस का पुराना नाम क्या था



रजनीकांत: प्रयाग



ठग: ओ के


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ठग(मायूस होकर): अरे आप तो काफी स्मार्ट 



निकले...


पाँचों सवाल का जवाब ग़लत(जैसी की शर्त थी) दे


 दिया...


रजनीकांत: अरे कहाँ, अभी तो 4 ही सवाल हुए,



 पाचवां तो पूछो ?

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ठग: मिस्टर रजनीकांत यही तो मेरा पाँचवाँ सवाल



 था


कि सवाल कितने हो गए, और आपने कहा कि 


4...आप शर्त हार चुके हो...


बनारसियो के आगे किसी की नही चलती ! :D
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