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Friday, 8 March 2013

Can v do romance in the evening today?....Really Funny....................27713

1. Mother-in law:

In Des - A women capable of making your life miserable.

In Pardes - A women you never fight with, because where else you will find such a dedicated baby sitter for free?

2. Husband:

In Des - A boring human species, who listens more to his mother than you, and orders you around to serve him, his parents and siblings.

In Pardes -Still boring, but now a useful human species that comes in handy when the house needs to be vacuumed.

3. Friend:

In Des - A person whose house you can drop into any time of the day or night and you'll always be welcome.

In Pardes -A person who you have to call first to check and make sure he is not busy.

4. Wife:

In Des - A woman who gives you your towel when you go to take a shower.

In Pardes - A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take bath.

5. Son:

In Des -- A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market.

In Pardes - A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn.

6. Daughter:

In Des - A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes when her doli is about to leave.

In Pardes - A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before any doli time.

7. Father:

In Des - A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed.

In Pardes -A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college tuition.

8. Engineer:

In Des -A person with a respectable job and lots of upper ki kamai.

In Pardes -A person without a secure job, who always dreams one day he will be rich.

9. Desi Doctor:

In Des -- A respectable person with ok income.

In Pardes - A money making machine, who has a money spending machine at home called "doctor ki biwi".

10. Bhangra:

In Des - A vigorous punjabi festival dance.

In Pardes - A desi dance you do, when you don't know how to dance.

11. Software Engineer:

In Des - A high-tech guy, always speaks in American accent, always anxious to queue consulate visa line.

In Pardes - The same hitech guy, who does Ganapati puja everyday, and says 'This is my last year in the US (or wherever)' every year.

12. A Green Card holder bachelor:

In Des - the guy can't speak Hindi, parents of good looking girls are dying to hook him, wears jacket in summer, says he has a BMW back there.

In Pardes - the guy can't speak English, wears jacket all the time, works in a Candy store at Manhattan , dreams of owning a BMW.
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Can v do romance in the evening today?

I'm in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting

reply me soon!

urs lovingly

"MOSQUITO"

--

If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!

But I'm only a cartoonist!

--

Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don't even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..

--

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth
--

Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.

--

Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday...

--

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

--

A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me... But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position...

--

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don't have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail.

--

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business?

Student: "Father in law".

--

An englishman, bihari & punjabi were standing on roof. They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them.
Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.

--


Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
Rest have



Girlfriends


--

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.


--

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

--


Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

--


Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.

--


Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING!


--

Who Wants 2 B A
£MILLIONAIRE£

Let's play?
Q.Nobody likes u cos u r a:


A.Cunt B.Wanka

C.Rsole D.Twat



50/50



Phone a friend?


RING ME! I'LL TELL U!

--


Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."


--

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.


--


Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

--


Good news! A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend. Just call me and order your kiss. I will personally go and deliver it.

--


Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!

--


A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for selfish.

--


What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

--


It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

--


There is a sign in the toilet of the sex change clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.

--


Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

--


Kripya Dhyaan De,









Dhyaan dene k liye Shukriya!

--


Geeta mein likha hai?








are yaar yahan kya dhund raha hai, maine kaha geeta mein likha hai!!

--


Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.

--


Medical Shayari
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!

When you don't breathe, you expire!
Wah Wah, kya baat hai!

--


Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla. Dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla. Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.

--


Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

--


Media: Prince, bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai?
Prince: Kya acha lagega? Andar choclate thi, pastry thi, milk badam tha. Thodi der aur ruk jaate shayad Bipasha bhi aa jati.

--


Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

--


Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kar so ab. Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kar so ab. Abey karta hi rahega to dhoyega kab?

--


Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

--


Baba ji ka mela laga hai haridwar mein. Prashad mein Recharge Coupon diye jayenge. Kisi aur ko mat batana. Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha hai

--


Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.

--

Which are the 2 latest versions of java.

Think... think... think...

Marjava & Mitjava

--


Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...

--


INDIA Ko
Aazaad Hue 57
Sal
Hue
Phir Bhi
No PROGRESS!
why? Kyunki Aaj
Bhi
INDIA Ki
Bholi Janta
KAAM-DHANDHA
Chhod Kar
hamara SMS padh
rahi hai...

--


Tum haste raho, nachte raho, muskurate raho, sada khil khilate raho, khush raho aur gungunate raho, mera kya hai, log tumhe hi pagal samzhenge....

--


Lady drinking coke, machhar falls in. Lady takes it out, machhar says "MAA"! Lady asks why did you call me "MAA"? machhar says, "Main teri coke se nikla hoon, MAA!"..

--


Pyar to humein bhi karna tha, par kuch khaas nahi hua. Tajmahal to humein bhi banana tha..
par afsoos ke....


loan pass nahi hua...

--


Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai.
Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?". Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?".

--


Rabri: Ka karat ho?
Laalu: Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri: Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu: Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.

--


Every Indian women is RANI KAXMI BAI in her life.
RANI - Before marriage.
LAXMI - After marriage.
BAI - After children.

--


Maalik: Ramu, iss saal tum 4 bar apne dada ke marne ki chutti le chuke ho.
Ramu: Maalik, iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai.
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