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Friday, 8 February 2013

Zaanu ek puppy do na!............16613

रंगलाल का बेटा नंगलाल आज मच्छरों से परेशान था


नंगलाल - पापा....पहले तो मच्छर सिर्फ़ रात को काटते थे लेकिन

आजकल तो दिन में भी आजाते हैं खून पीने.........ऐसा क्यों ?


रंगलाल - क्या बताएं बेटा ! महंगाई इतनी बढ़ गई है कि तेरे बाप की

तरह सभी को ओवर टाइम करना पड़ता है.........

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Santa's wife (in a romantic mood): zaanu ek puppy do na!

Santa: Uff, Fashion Dekho inka

Ghar me khane ko paise ni h or iss ko
kutte ka pilla chahiye.
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YO YO HONEY SINGH EXAM VERSION For Students :

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Book Se Hu Dur Lekin Exam Se Majboor,

Dil Ko Sataye Ye Teacher Ka Noor..

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Ha Baat Ye Sachi Aaj Usko Batau,

Mujhe Samajh Nahi Aata Kaise Teacher Ko Pataau..

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Bas Paas Hone Ke Liye Main Ye Answer Likhte Jaau,

Din Raat Hi Main Ye Books Rat'te Jaau..

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Book Aur Guide Main Dekhu Vari Vari,

Ji Karda Books Faad Du Main Saari..!! ;) :P :D
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Rs 1450: baby food

Rs 1000: doctor fee

Rs 950: medicinE

Rs 800: toys

Rs 500: diapers

Rs 300:baby powder

total
Rs 5000
or
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condomRs 5
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faisla aap per hai
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beti, ma se: ma, lakda muze pasand hai, per wo bahut hi fat hai.

ma: beti tv chahe kitna bhi bada ho per remote to 7 inch ka hi hot ahai na.
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ज़माना सचमुच बदल गया है ।

पहले लोग - बाग़ आपस में मिलते थे तो पूछते थे :

आपके बाल बच्चे कैसे हैं ?


जबकि आज कल पूछते हैं :

आपके बाल बचे कैसे हैं ?
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Rahul Gandhi gaon k ek ghar me jakr ek aurat se bola:
"Ab hum aa gye hain, ab vikas hoga."
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Aurat:"Jao.Pichli bar bi tumne yahi kha tha,par VIMLA hui...
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A sweet old lady telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" The old lady in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."

The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

The old lady said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

The old lady said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything"!
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You can never ask a girl her age. There is no such concept.
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They don't have age but age groups which are:
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.Baby, Babes, Bebe and Biji! :-D
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Y do ENGINEERING students always prefer local author books then
REFERENCE books..??

The local author says

“Jack & Jill went up the hill

to fetch a pail of water,

jack fell down and broke his crown

and Jill came tumbling
after"
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& REFERENCE BOOK says

“ 2 humans ascended a certain geological protuberance to collect hydride of oxygen whose quantity is not specified.

One member Jack of rapid irregular disturbing movements encounter fatal logical gravitational error leading to complete disarray.

Other member whose scope lies within disarray descends down the geographical protuberance at
an acceleration, whose magnitude
is controlled by the force of gravity. ”
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After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the missus felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.

He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He
then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.

Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.

He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'That was wonderful. Why did you stop?

He said, 'I found the remote'. :D :P
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Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said:
"You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation. A few
years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married.
"Later my father married my step daughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson. Also,my wife became mother in-law of her father-in-law.

Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son, but he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son.That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. "This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife, I'm my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I'm My own son's grandfather! And you think you have family problems
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