|Simon's teacher asks, "what is the chemical formula for water?"|
Simon replies, "H I J K L M N O"!
The teacher, puzzled, asks, "what on Earth are you talking about?"
Simon replies, "yesterday you said it was H to O!"
"If you had a pound," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another pound, how much money would you have?"|
"One pound." answered Simon.
"You don't know your maths addition." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.
Simon shook his head too, "you don't know my dad!"
During a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "NEW" on the blackboard. "Right," she asked the class, "what word
would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?"|
After thinking a few seconds Simon said, "Canoe?"
|Simon was getting bad grades in school. He had a new teacher who was just out of training college, young and very attractive but a little shy and nervous. Simon walks up to the young teacher's desk and announced, "I don't want to scare you Miss Jones, but my dad says if I don't get better grades... somebody is going to get a good spanking."|
The young teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months." Then asked the class, "how should I correct
Simon raised his hand and replied, "get yourself a new boyfriend."
The teacher asks Simon if he knows his numbers.|
"Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me."
"Can you tell me what comes after three?"
"Four," answers Simon.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven," answers Simon.
"Very good," says the teacher. "your father did a very good job. Now what comes after ten?"
"A jack," answers Simon.
Simon had just returned from his summer break and gone back to school. Three days later his teacher phoned his mother
to tell her that he was misbehaving.|
"Hold on," she said. "I had Simon with me for the entire summer and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
|Simon's teacher asked, "Simon, your essay on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your sister's. Did you copy hers?" Simon replied, "No Miss, it's the same dog!"|