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Monday, 25 February 2013

Some great sexy sayings-..............23313

Kaminapan Dosto ka
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"Girlfriend hai..??"
"Nahin"
"Saala Gay":p
"Haan hai Girlfriend"
"Tharki sala"
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"Kal college ayega...??
"Haan":)"
Padhaku ki aulaad"
"Nahin"
"Saale kabhi toh padh liya kar"
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"Ice cream khilaega...?"
"Ofcourse"
"Kyun Bhai, Baap ka paisa hai"
"Nahin"
"Bhikhaari saala"
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"Dosti nibhaega?"
"Haan"
"Senti saale devdas"
"Nahin nibhaunga"
"yehi umeed thi saale dhoke baaz".. :p =D :D
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Girl: If we get married, you must stop smoking.
Boy: Ok.
Girl: Drinking too.
Boy: Ok.
Girl: Going to night clubs too.
Boy: Ok.
Girl: and watching soccer with your boys too.
Boy: Ok.
Girl: What else can you leave?
Boy: The idea of marrying you.
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One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Some great sexy sayings-

"U cannot taste me, until u undress me?" -Banana.

"U cannot eat me unless u lick me" - Ice cream.

"U can not play with me unless u blow me" - Balloon.

"U can not enjoy me unless u suck me" - Lollypop.

"U make me wet & put me in your mouth everyday" - Toothbrush.

And the most killer one..

"U can not enjoy me unless u spread me" Butter. xP
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A handsome Saudi was sitting in a restaurant in the States with a lady....
He asked a waiter to take the most expensive bottle of Wine to a very attractive girl sitting alone at a table in a corner.
Waiter brought in the elitist wine bottle & took the bottle to the woman and said, 'Excuse me mam, this precious bottle is from that gentleman who is seated over there.' and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the bottle coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by note. The waiter, who was staying nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a BMW in your garage, a house in Spain, a million dollars in the bank and have to leave this lady....'
After reading the note, the Saudi decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the girl.
It read: 'Just to let you know, things aren't always what they appear or rather what you want them to be. I have a Ferrari Enzo, a Range Rover, a Mercedes SLS and a Porsche Panamera in my several garages;
I have beautiful homes in Saudi, Hawaii, Dubai and Morocco and a 10,000 acre estate in England.
There is over 30 million dollars in my bank account and portfolio.
But, even for a girl as beautiful as you are, I am not going to leave my mother.Just send the bottle back please...ooo terrii.
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उस समय खासतौर पर नारियोँ के लिये मेरे दिल मेँ बिशेष सम्मान पैदा हो जाता है
जब
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जब मैँ खुद रोटी बनाता हूँ ।
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A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.

"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"

He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"
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A man got a call from unknown number...
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Girl: Hi, r u single?
Man: Yes, but who r u?

Ans: Your wife.. Aaj ghar aana tab bataoogi
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Another call from unknown number...
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Girl: R u married?
Man: Yes, but who R u?

Girl: Your girlfriend.. U cheat..!!

Man: Sorry baby, I thought it was my wife.
Ans: Wife hi hoon kutte.. Aaj tu bas ghar
aaja..!! x-(
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