Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Restaurant jokes.............15113

Friends of ours invited the wife and I out to dinner. Although it turned out to be a topless restaurant with topless waitresses, my wife was a pretty good sport and pretended to enjoy the evening. On the way home though, even the defrosters at full force wouldn't keep the windshield from icing over on her side of the car.
"Awwwww come on" I said. "It wasn't that bad."
"Your ordering didn't help matters" she said fuming.
"What ?" I replied. "I only ordered a dozen oysters."
"ONE AT A TIME!!!" she yelled.
I went for a meal last week and I said to the waiter "Did you know that this chicken has got one leg longer than the other?" The waiter replied "Do you want to eat it or dance with it?".
A couple go on holiday to Barcelona and eat at a famous restaurant. The waiter tells them they have a delicious special every Sunday, so the couple order the special. The waiter brings out a large silver serving platter with two huge steaming rounds of meat, juices dripping. It smells delicious and tastes even better. The couple are delighted with their meal and the husband asks the waiter what meat was in the dish. "Senor," he explains, "each Saturday night, we have the bullfights and that was the bull's balls you ate." The couple are a bit taken aback by what they have just eaten, but it was delicious, so they get over it. Six months later, they return to Barcelona and decide to go to the same restaurant. They order the same dish as before and the waiter brings out the huge silver serving dish and places it on the table. But this time, there are two tiny pieces of meat, barely enough for one. The man says, "excuse me, but the last time we were here and ordered this dish, it was huge, more than enough for two. Why is this portion so small?" The waiter smiles and replies, "Well Senor, sometimes the bull wins!"
A couple were dining in a fancy restaurant when the waitress spots the man sliding under the table whilst the woman seeming totally unconcerned. As he slid completely under the table, the waitress went across and quietly whispered to the woman "Excuse me but your husband has just slid under your table". "Oh no he hasn't" said the woman, "he's just walked in."
I went for a meal with a chess fanatic the other day. There was a checked tablecloth on the table. It took three hours for him to pass the salt.
They've built a restaurant on the moon - the food's OK but it's got no atmosphere.
Waiter: "And how did you find your steak sir?"
Diner: "Well, I accidentally moved this tomato slice and there it was."

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