Sunday, 3 February 2013

Railway jokes.....(3).........14213

A young English woman, whose brother who was stationed in Germany, decided to visit him by train. The German ticket inspector on the train punched her ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. The young lady simply nodded from time to time to show him that she was interested. When he had gone, an American lady in the compartment leaned forward and asked if the young lady spoke German.
"No," she confessed.
"Then that explains it," she said". "Explains what",asked the young woman. "Why you didn't bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train."
A lawyer gets on a train to go to London. He sits next to a poor farmer. To pass the time the lawyer decides to play a game with the guy.
"I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong, you have to pay me £1 pound. Then you ask me a question, and if I get it wrong, you get £10. You ask me a question first."
The farmer thinks for a while. "I know", he says, "what has three legs, takes 10 hours to climb up a palm tree, and 10 seconds to get back down?"
The lawyer is confused and thinks long and hard about the question. Finally, the train is approaching London. As it pulls into the station, the lawyer takes out £10 and gives it to the farmer.
"I don't know. What has 3 legs, takes 10 hours to get up a palm tree and 10 seconds to get back down?"
The farmer takes the £10 and puts it into his pocket. He then takes out £1 and hands it to the lawyer and says:
"I don't know either."
A Texan is bragging to an Englishman on a train journey through England. "In Texas", he drawls, "you can get on a train, ride all day long, and still be in Texas by nightfall".
"Yeah," replies the Englishman, "we have slow trains here too".
What's the best way to hold up a bride's train?
Take a gun to the wedding!
A man goes to the buffet on the train and orders a burger. He gets back to his seat and is about to take a bite when he sees a hair sticking out. Very annoyed he takes it back to the buffet counter and tells the stewardess who served him "there's a hair in my burger"!
"Just a minute" she says, "I'll have a word with the chief steward". She takes the burger to the chief steward who takes it out of the bun, flattens it under his armpit and puts it back in the bun. The man can see all this: "That's disgusting", he says.
The stewardess says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make doughnuts!"

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